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Can anyone help me 'play'?

(5 Posts)
FlumpetMum Mon 09-Nov-09 18:52:35

I love my children with a passion, & I am there with all the cuddles & snuggles in the world. But when it comes to sitting on the floor & playing or whatever, I just seem to switch off. I do not seem to be able to play. We go out to the park & visits but I am left numb by it. I don't know if I am bored or what? I was the youngest of 6, and much younger than the rest of my siblings, so was prob an accident, but I was largely ignored by my entire family, and pretty much now, so I was determined not to let this happen, yet I cannot let myself go & have fun! Please help me!

mummymoomy Mon 09-Nov-09 22:59:39

Hi there, i dont know what age your dcs are but mine are 15 months and 3 years - they love it when we build towers and castles together or sit and read a book or do puzzles (dd2 invariable messes it all up)- dd1 loves to help in the kitchen and do crafts together - especially glitter and all things sparkly and gluey. It is sometimes hard to play especially when there's always so much else to be done but it really is great fun and very rewarding. Playgroups are great places to go as you can see how other people do it and get stuck in with someone else clearing up plus often there are experienced people there to talk to who can really help - our local one has ex-teachers and family advisors on hand. Good luck.

It can help just to
(a) sit down with your DC and say "let's play"
(b) DO NOT tell them (or even suggest) what to do
(c) DO NOT ask any questions. At all, if you can help it.
(d) Do as you are told grin.
(e) Comment on what they are doing. If that involves rephrasing what they say, fair enough. Or if it involves banal description ("you are piling up the blocks. You put the red block on the blue block")

Try to keep this up for 10-15 minutes at a time. It's surprisingly difficult to do without instruction or asking questions (so the "challenge" element of it may keep you engaged grin) but they really react well to it.

Helium Wed 11-Nov-09 12:41:01

Snap is quite a good way to 'play'. Also get them onvolved in cooking - talk them through what you're doing, get them to stir the ingredients etc.
It is hard I'm no expert and I see where you are coming from.

scattyspice Wed 11-Nov-09 12:53:20

Lots of adults get restless when playing with small children, its quite normal (not just you).

I used to get something out and start off playing then go do something for a few mins, then come back. As they get older (3-4 yrs) they will play more happily by themselves once you start them off.

Don't feel as if you have to entertain them, ideally you are quite passive, almost watching them play and responding when included by the child rather than leading the game.

Don't feel as if you have to do things with your children all the time, just being in the same room is often enough.

I used to go out morning and afternoon (even if it was just a walk to the shop for milk) esp when DS was a toddler as his attention span was so short that he didn't really like to play at home much (he needed to be active).

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