Your Tops Tips For a First Time Mum

[hayleylou]

My cousin is 12 weeks pregnant and she has asked me if I any tips for her durring the pregnantcy, Childbirth and Afterwards. So I have decided to put a little book together for her with all the tips and wondered if you were able to help as well?

[Twiglett]

its already been done for you here

[Bibiboo]

Remember that at 3am, when the baby won't stop howling, after it's been howling all day for no apparent reason and you're tired, hungry, despressed and almost going deaf that ... it's only a baby and they don't mean to drive you barmy. They are not evil, just helpless.

That always helps me put things into perspective when life is noisy and I feel like handing dd over to the next person to pass my door.

[Bibiboo]

btw, I have both those books and theya re excellent.

[morningpaper]

It's ok to hate your baby sometimes.

[hayleylou]

Sorry I did not relise there was a book already

[hayleylou]

Thanks kama, I thought I had offended someone by asking

[ixel]

Make a gift list to pass round to those people you know will buy a present and wont be offended by being given suggestions. Then you'll end up with what you want, not 20,000 newborn baby grows and hats with ears on.

[Leogaela]

don't have any expectations of the birth. inform herself well about all pain relief (even if she thinks she wants to do without) and about c-sections just incase she has to have one - it will be less of a shock.

Join mumsnet!

[beansmum]

my tip would be DON'T join mumsnet! It's too addictive

[Leogaela]

True, but extremely helpful. i've learnt more here than in any book and support from people is invaluable.

[hayleylou]

I am the same learnt so much on here..... Thats why I asked the question save giving my cousin "another baby book" to read

[colditz]

3 or 4 days after the birth, you will probably start crying for no apparent reason. Don't worry. When you stop crying you will feel a bit silly about it, and don't worry about that either.

Be very firm with visiters. If they are coming to coo at the baby and not help you, don't let them come round until baby is 12 weeks old.

[elsmommy]

When you bath the baby try letting her push her feet against the end of the bath.
Apparently it gives them a sense of security

[Tortington]

if she can't drive - learn
dont buy anything new
dont buy a baby bath - do it in the sink - your back doesn't hurt.
buy a small fridge if bottle feeding and take some ready made bottles upstairs as well as a camping kettle. - god i wish those fridges had been invented in my day
remember thee is no such thing as a perfect mum
if its a girl dont buy frilly dresses - cos guess who is the mug who ends up ironing them?
go to carboot sales for cltohes toys and socks and vests - same goes for charity shops - i saw some vests in our local charity shop for 20p each.

dont buy stuff from asda becuase asda is evil

if you want them to go to university - best to start saving now!

[hayleylou]

custardo why is asda evil??

[Tortington]

it keep its "low low prices" as the expense of poorer countries and farmers and closes local shops - a different thread maybe?

[Leogaela]

lol custardo!

I agree with the babybath, either the sink or in the bath with the baby works best.

If bottle feeding a small flask to carry hot water around in when feeding outside (can also put htis beside the bed rather than camping kettle)

Ask everyone you know if they have any old stuff to give away. a lot of things you use in the first 2 months are useless after.

don't get anything too early, it just makes the wait until te baby arrives even longer.

[starlover]

if she is thinking of breastfeeding then don't assume (as i did) that it would be easy peasy.

Some babies DON'T root... DON'T like the boob... and need plenty of encouragement! make sure she knows all the alternatives and what to do if baby won't go on the breast.

erm... don't buy too many baby clothes. it's really sad when they grow out of them and you've had so much that most of it only got worn once or twice.

don't buy a top and tail bowl!

when your baby is crying and crying and it seems like s/he hates you... remember that it's JUST A BABY! they don't know how to manipulate you, they just want a lovely cuddle or some food or a clean bottom!

[KatieinSpain]

Some babies like the sound of hoovers - it stopped DS2 crying for the first month or so - .

Ask for help - specify what you need doing. Let others share the load.

Go to NCT sales, or the equivalent, you can buy fantastic things at unbeatable prices, but you need a plan of attack, whenever you go to one. Decide what you really want to buy: say a pushchair and hit that zone first. Take a friend, queue up early and save a fortune .

Enjoy your baby - cuddle all you like, follow the Gina Ford routine if you like, whatever is right for you and your baby is right.

Baby bouncers, bouncy chairs, play mats are all ways of getting five minutes to yourself when the baby is old enough to go in them.

[saadia]

Agree with bibiboo - the sudden shock of having this helpless and demanding little thing 24/7 can become very trying.

But just remember whenever they cry, won't feed, throw up, doo a poo that spreads all over their clothes so you have to bath them at 3am, that they are completely innocent and dependant on you.

Looking back on when my dss were babies and now that they are 3 and 1, I really think that their baby/toddler years might be the best days of my life.

[bundle]

i used recycled summer pudding bowls from waitrose as top/tail bowls.

getting out of the house (when you're up to it) is a Good Thing. but don't feel you have to dress baby, just shove a cardi over sleepsuit and blanket on top in pram. ta-da apparent respectability

[hunkermunker]

When it seems too difficult, remember that in a few short weeks it will still be difficult, but for different reasons.

[elsmommy]

Buy a battery powered swing

Don't put baby in the bed with you at all

Don't pick them up the second they cry every single time, they get used to it!!

And let the baby get used to other people. If you don't you won't be able to have a night out for years

[otto]

Just because other people are older and have had babies it doesn't make them experts, so don't be bullied into doing things you don't want to do. And try and ignore criticisms about the way you do things. Do what you feel is right - after all, you will know your own baby better than anybody else.

Also try and remember that whatever happens, whether it's good or bad it will be over very quickly and you'll move onto the next phase of development and soon forget about what came before.

And breastfeeding can be very hard and doesn't always happen naturally. Make sure you know where to go to get advice.