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Night away without kids... nice idea, but don't want to go...

(17 Posts)
Ellbell Tue 14-Jun-05 21:18:25

Hi all

A while ago I did a favour for my bf and had her ds for a night so that she and her dh could attend a no-kids-invited wedding. She offered to look after my two for a night sometime in return. This seemed like a great idea, and we have arranged for her to have them for a night in July and my dh has booked a hotel for us in the Lakes. This is all a really lovely idea (lovely of bf to offer, lovely of dh to book hotel, etc.) BUT... as it gets closer to the time I keep thinking that I don't really want to go. I work full-time and so the time I spend with my dds (who are 3 and 5) is pretty special. I just keep thinking that I'd rather we did something all together as a family, rather than just me and dh going away. I'm sure it'll be nice if we do go. But... well... I'm just not happy with the idea that my dds are with a childminder till 5 most weekdays and then at the weekend I send them to stay with my friend so I can go away without them. (I know they won't view it like that, though, cos they love and adore her and her ds, so will have a whale of a time, so this 'abandoning complex' is all in my own mind.) We have been away together without them once (i.e. for one night) since dd1 was born 5 years ago, although we have both gone away individually on work things, or more rarely for pleasure. Aaargh! What should I do? I thought I'd check out opinions on here before talking to dh and risking antagonising him.... Am I being pathetic? Or am I being cruel and heartless even to consider abandoning my babies for a night? Answers on a postcard please!

zebraZ Tue 14-Jun-05 21:28:59

I totally understand how you feel but if your DH really wants a weekend with just you to himself, and if your children don't mind, then I think I would do it for his sake, it's only a couple of days. Could you be honest with him that you know you will miss the children a lot so could he please make an effort to cheer you up & distract you?

MarsLady Tue 14-Jun-05 21:32:27

Honey the babybells will be fine. It's good to have time off with your DH. Don't worry, the kids will get to do things that they don't at home, cos it's different, not cos you're a bad mum.

Go, enjoy. Enjoy your husband, let him enjoy you. It's good to remember what we were like before kids. It's not as if you do it every weekend.

Angeliz Tue 14-Jun-05 21:33:12

I'd go.
It's always when you think you don't want to go that you have a lovely time.
You'll recharge your bateries and enjoy the kids even more when you get back.
I understand why you don't want to but if you know they'll have a lovely time with her then go have some fun

Ellbell Tue 14-Jun-05 23:04:45

Well... that's pretty unanimous then!

ZebraZ... I imagine that dh will be able to be persuaded to find ways to distract me !

Thanks ladies...

MarsLady Tue 14-Jun-05 23:05:29

You're welcome

Heathcliffscathy Tue 14-Jun-05 23:06:19

marslady couldn't have put it better myself.

Thomcat Tue 14-Jun-05 23:19:37

Cruel, heartless, abandoning!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
No, no, NO

FFS - let your kids enjoy their weekend, what fun for them, they'll love it. Don't deprive them of it
Jesus woman, let you bloody hair down and rememebr who you are before you were a mum, and work time does not count.

GO

Have a fab time, you deserve it, your DH deserves it and your kids will have a great time.

Besides, do you want you friend to think you don't trust her?

Report back with news of the great time you all had.

TC x

Ellbell Tue 14-Jun-05 23:23:46

So... do you think I should go then, Thomcat?
Thanks! Feel better about this now!

moondog Tue 14-Jun-05 23:25:44

Remember to tell us all about it on your return (well,perhaps not all...)

Have a lovely time (your children definitely will)!

Thomcat Tue 14-Jun-05 23:35:42

Well only if you're really sure ellbell, I ean some people will think this is neglect but if you're sure..............


!!!!!!!!!!!!!




If you don't go I'm coming to gettcha!
Now get packing
xxxx

Ellbell Wed 15-Jun-05 10:22:08

Not in your condition, surely, TC...

(Reminds me of my ex-boss, who referred to my pgs as 'your interesting condition'... WTF?)

Hope all's well with you.

Thomcat Wed 15-Jun-05 13:19:22

Intersting condition! how very, very strange of him! What a nutter! LOL

Ellbell Wed 15-Jun-05 13:22:24

He was a very strange man, TC. Still is, probably, but I don't work for him any more!

Thomcat Wed 15-Jun-05 13:23:10

thank god for that!
So are you packed?

Ellbell Wed 15-Jun-05 13:32:53

Errr... not yet, TC... we're not going till 16th July! Hoping to go camping with the dds before that, but it's so f-ing cold up here at the moment that I'm wondering if that's wise!

Thomcat Wed 15-Jun-05 13:40:24


Well have a fab time when it all happens, TC x

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