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Invitations with a hidden agenda

(15 Posts)
chocdrop Tue 14-Jun-05 10:33:23

Am I the only one who resents being constantly invited to get-togethers by mums/carers who have set up home businesses and are trying to sell you products? I work part-time from home and I'm often asked to go round for a jewellery coffee morning, pampered chef cooking session, virgin vie product night, or to hear about the benefits of aloe vera. I respect these women for starting up a business but I hate the assumption that I'll go and spend money (which is the aim, no matter what they say). There are some things I'm happy to buy - such as cards and books but otherwise I say I'm busy.

Gwenick Tue 14-Jun-05 10:35:47

I've got an invite to one of these next week - but the women who's hosting it for this other women (make sense?) send letters round with the invites stressing that there was NO obligation to buy - and there really isn't - she's getting some wine in, her DH is going out and we're going to have a girls night in!

I also once held an Avon party - there really was NO obligation to buy AT ALL.

WigWamBam Tue 14-Jun-05 10:37:31

A friend of mine has set herself up selling Herbalife, and is constantly sending out invitations to coffee mornings and "pamper parties" - I have had three this year already, and I know she sends the invitations out to the same people every time. She is always trying to recruit new distributors as well. I'm with you - I resent the implication that because we are friends, I'm expected to keep forking out money for products I don't want.

I generally just ignore the invitation, or say I have something else on, although perhaps it would be fairer on her to tell her that I have no interest in her products and ask her not to invite me again!

WideWebWitch Tue 14-Jun-05 11:19:38

God no, it would pee me off too. I don't know anyone doing this atm thank goodness, but there was one summer, long ago, when it seemed as if everyone I knew was in MLM and trying to sell me something, it was like being in the middle of a bad surreal film about commerce gone mad. Terrible.

Gwenick Tue 14-Jun-05 11:20:51

why is there this assumption that because you're invited to one of these parties you're expected to part with money????

beetroot Tue 14-Jun-05 11:22:15

Message withdrawn

Gwenick Tue 14-Jun-05 11:25:03

I've been to loads of those types of parties and got nothing other than a hangover

The one I'm going to next week is to show off a portrait photographers stuff, but there's going to be lots of wine, snacks........and most importantly NO MEN!!!!

mckenzie Tue 14-Jun-05 11:39:48

I don't resent being invited. I would only be resentful if the person inviting me 'expected' me to go or 'expected' me to buy something.
An invite is just that though isn't it? It's an invitation, not a demand.

My mum used to tell us that we could ask for anything as long as we asked politely and were prepared for the answer to be no and I would say that the adage fits well in this situation.

feelingold Tue 14-Jun-05 11:41:31

I have been invited to these in the past and the host always says 'you do not have to buy anything just come along', but when everyone else is being really enthusiastic and spending like mad I always feel guilty and end up buying something. I wouldn't say I buy something and it never gets used, but I do find the things I buy more expensive than an equivilent in the shops. I am not mean, but if I wanted jewellery or make-up I would go into town and buy it.
I do not go to them anymore, whoever invites me.

chocdrop Tue 14-Jun-05 11:44:10

I know you don't HAVE to buy but I certainly feel the pressure.

Gwenick Tue 14-Jun-05 11:45:56

you must be going to the wrong ones then - you should come to the (rare) ones I manage to make it too - copious amounts of alcohol, lots of giggling and no 'pressure' to buy

HappyHuggy Tue 14-Jun-05 11:49:59

I do ann summers but i certinally dont whip my vibrators out to anyone that comes into my house

i tend to stay away from selling to friends and family for a few reasons, mainly becuase i dont want them to feel like they have to buy from me and because i dont want to know what they've bought!!!!!

(picturing my mil in a french maids outfit isnt something i want to do when we're sat round the dinner table!!)

although i did do a party once and the next morning in church recognised one of the women - in the choir, her face was a picture when she saw me!!!!

One of my friends does oriflame and is constantly sending me texts and phoning me about these fabulas offers shes got on - its driving me mad!!! as a consequence i havent seen her for ages cause i know she just wants to makle money from me!

Windermere Tue 14-Jun-05 11:53:53

My sil & her dh were once invited to a friends house for dinner, when they got there to their amazment the friends starting presenting pyramid selling to them, they even got out an overhead projector! Needless to say that there was one friendship that came to an abrupt halt.

WigWamBam Tue 14-Jun-05 11:54:06

My friend always says that we are under no obligation to buy, but then comes on really strong at the presentations and people always end up leaving having ordered armfuls of stuff because she's so forceful and it's very difficult to say "no" to someone who won't take "no" for an answer.

chocdrop Tue 14-Jun-05 11:55:22

Yes, perhaps I'm going to the wrong ones. I've never been to an Ann Summers one! Liked your post HappyHuggy.

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