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Well at least I know now why MIL never invites us down...

(16 Posts)
Flossam Sun 12-Jun-05 18:57:16

to stay with her. DS is now 7 months olf and she has only seen him 3 times, blah blah blah, you've heard it all before, but we are always 'stopped' from trying to visit. Apparently it's all 'too much work' and creates 'a lot of washing'. Oh well, I mean, now thats cleared up I understand!

beansprout Sun 12-Jun-05 19:02:22

What is it that she thinks she is asked to do exactly?!!

Tortington Sun 12-Jun-05 19:05:23

maybe she just doesn't like kids? i think if you have never thought of this before its quite shocking. shockin to think that your parents or dp's parents may not be interested in their grandchildren.

i can honestly admit that i willnot be wanting and granchildren round on a regular basis and that 3 times in 7 months would be quite enough for me thank you.

this issue is however different if your dp has a borther or sister and there are clear grandchildren favourites.

compo Sun 12-Jun-05 19:10:08

where does she live? My inlaws and parents only see ds about 4-6 times a year as we all live quite far apart

beansprout Sun 12-Jun-05 19:12:23

Actually Custardo, my mum's parents never wanted to know me and my brother at all. That is how it just is sometimes I suppose.

weesaidie Sun 12-Jun-05 19:12:37

I think that is pretty harsh and must be upsetting.

My parents love my dd and see her all the time (but we do live in the same city), I'd like to think I would be the same.

happymerryberries Sun 12-Jun-05 19:14:26

A friend of mine was once told by the grandfather of her first child that they were not that interested because they had lots of other grandchildren .

some people are just awful.

pixiefish Sun 12-Jun-05 19:15:25

My MIL lives 12 miles away and hardly sees dd from birthday to christmas. my parents see her nearly every day though so that makes up for it

Flossam Sun 12-Jun-05 19:21:28

Custurdo, yes there is a very clear favourite. Pictures from the few times they have seen are just sent as .....(Ds's name) Pictures of DS cousin are sent .....cutie etc. They frequently stay.

gaelsgirl Sun 12-Jun-05 19:22:37

lol @ cusTURDo

Tortington Sun 12-Jun-05 19:26:31

my husbands parents don't see our kids but once a year, becuase of distance. howevershe played favourites - since we moved she puts more thought into us as a family with regards to birthdays and xmas. it used to be that my kids didn't get anything becuase they had no money - whilst the other grandchildren who lived two doors away from me - did get things....but they were from a car boot - so that ok then. so glad to be out of it

my mums a clinicle nutter so we dont see her - infact we rarely see any family - so no family dramas to report - its fab. no grandchildren see grandparents often. the kids are often not that bothered if they have not known the attention previously. what is harder to overcome is the fact that your own mother can't be arsed to send a birthday card. so rather its your feelings than the childs that need to be reconciled.

mykids know i dont really likekids so until they are at least 5yrs old they can take their time in visits.

jessicasmummy Sun 12-Jun-05 19:28:18

Flossam, i know exactly how you feel.

My MIL is a cow to me and dd... and hardly wants anything to do with her. HOwever, her darling grandchildren from dh's sister are "fantastic" "wonderful" "lovely" and non-stop raving.

MIL has seen dd about 6 times since she was born... and had the cheek to only spend £5 on her for her 1st birthday - we have the present already, not wrapped and price left on, yet her birthday isnt until July! Probably wont get a card because they decided to book their holiday over jess's 1st birthday - somethign they wouldnt dream of doing for the other 2 kids.

We now live a fair distance away so understand it isnt as easy anymore, but when we only lived 20 minutes down the road, they just weren't interested. They have travel cot and all sorts at their house for when the other 2 kids go to stay, yet the ONE time we asked MIL to have Jess, she said, oh i'd rather come to you and babysit while you are out and then go home.... sheer favouritism pisses me off to the EDGE!

Flossam Sun 12-Jun-05 21:36:54

Just can't believe those are her excuses (made to DP's brother, not us). Is that really the best she can come up with?

vickiyumyum Sun 12-Jun-05 21:46:32

wouldn't worry too much you kind of get past it. my ds1 is 7 and ds2 is 3 and mil and fil have never been to visit! we have been up to them but they always make some excuse to not come down here even if we pay for coach/train tickets.
oh and to top it off they didn't come to our wedding even though my mum and dad brought them first class train tickets and paid for a nice hotel!
Hope that makes you feel a bit better about you in laws.

Flossam Sun 12-Jun-05 22:44:43

Poor you . Some people are so rude aren't they. So sorry for you.

triggerhappy Mon 13-Jun-05 07:39:18

oh my god, WHAT?? I can't believe it, what an old bag!

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