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dp has made me feel CRAP!!!!!!!!!!!!

(9 Posts)
juicychops Sat 11-Jun-05 08:39:37

yesterday me and dp were sitting in the front room. ds was onb the floor on his mat and i was sitting on the floor with him and dp was a foot away on the sofa. ds rolled over and banged his head on the tv unit. i was watching him but just didnt see the tv unit in the way. dp told me it was my fault for not watching him and i need to start paying attention to him. He said ds is always getting hurt when im looking after him and god knows what i do to him when he is at work. He said this is the 3-4th time he has 'seriously' hurt himself cos i wasnt looking after him properly. He's made me feel like the shitest parent in the world. He only banged his head and he was fine after he did it. He fell off the bed the other day cos i wasnt watching him and i felt terrible about it. But these are the only 2 times he has hurt himself and he is 5 months. dp said im always hurting him. He makes me feel like a child abuser or something and i was crying all evening. The only reason ds never hurts himself when dp is looking after him is because he NEVER looks after him!!!! The other day dp bathed him for the first time. he left him in the bath whilst he left the room! i told him never to leave him in the bath alone again cos it only takes a second for him to drown, but i didnt go on at him telling him he is a bad parent. He has made me scared to put ds down now. i feel really terrible

flamesparrow Sat 11-Jun-05 08:47:32

Ignore him.

Kids get hurt. Pure and simple. You can be watching them 100% of the time and they STILL manage to hurt themselves.

DD (2yrs) broke her arm at the park the other week (and yes, I still feel like the worst mummy in the world) - but whilst the HV was giving me a lecture about watching her at all times, she wandered over to the play house, stood on a chair, and launched herself head first through the window of it!!! I pointed out that this is what she does when 2 of us are there watching her... she went all quiet and changed the subject

Its not as if you're leaving him stranded on 6ft walls or anything. It is a normal child bump.

Sax Sat 11-Jun-05 08:47:40

Hello Juicy - you are certainly not united on this are you -

You are doing grand, DO NOT FEEL YOU ARE A BAD PARENT - little babies and children will always have little mishaps, you cannot stop this, this is how they learn the dangers around them.

Your dp had no right to say you are a bad mother - you have a hell of a job looking after ds, its not an easy job - men do not always understand this (how can they if they don't look after them 24/7)

Please have faith in yourself, you are fine and of course have to put ds down to be able to get on. you cannot wrap them in cotton wool, you just do your utmost to keep them safe but little mishaps will occur and theres no getting away from that.

Im sorry you were spoken to like that, you must be feeling terrible - not good for self esteem!

Tissy Sat 11-Jun-05 08:50:22

FGS!!!How much damage can a five month old baby do to himself by rolling over? It's not as if he was going at great spedd when he hit the TV cabinet- he'll have a small bruise at the most!

I distinctly remember wacking dd's head against the corner of the bedside cabinet when I was breastfeeding and turned round to get a tissue. She was a few days old and had a corner-shaped dent in her head for a week or so!

I think it's about time you left your dh with the baby for a whole day to give him an idea about what's involved in caring for a little one.

Pinotmum Sat 11-Jun-05 08:53:47

I'd tell him how much he has hurt you and that children get hurt all the time. Your baby wasn't seriously hurt and he over reacted. Tell him children are more damaged by rowing parents and fathers who disrepect mothers and vice versa than a knock here and there. He was also wrong to leave the bathroom so remind him of this if he keeps on at you so he knows he's not perfect. It's funny but my DH is the perfect parent as well but I just tell him to wind his neck in

trefusis Sat 11-Jun-05 10:02:13

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trefusis Sat 11-Jun-05 10:18:25

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Sax Sat 11-Jun-05 10:20:20

excellent response trefusis! Nice one and I agree with those wise words...nip it in the bud - your confidence will suffer otherwise.

MarsLady Sat 11-Jun-05 10:25:34

I agree with Trefusis (though actually I want to call your p an anchor!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! )

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