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Can I just have a quick bitch plse?

(25 Posts)
unicorn Sat 11-Jun-05 00:09:56

Went out tonight with some women friends - in a pub, to see a band.

Thought it would make a change from our monthly girls meetup in pub (no music)
Anyway... chat (pre band) consists of..children, children, children...
When the conversation got to the favourite programmes our kids watch on telly, I wanted to be beamed up!!!

Thank God the band started again.

After it finished one of mums said.. 'oh it just wasn't the same night out as usually' (ie won't do that again)

Is it me.. or don't you, just occasionally, want to get away from the kids.. both physically and mentally, and talk about other things?

jampots Sat 11-Jun-05 00:11:13

Im with you Unicorn!

MarsLady Sat 11-Jun-05 00:11:29

Not just you honey!

Heathcliffscathy Sat 11-Jun-05 00:16:38

errrr...YES! hello btw!

milge Sat 11-Jun-05 00:17:02

I haven't told my hairdresser i've got kids, as i want to be able to have my hair cut without discussing potty training - and having the whole salon offer me unsolicited parenting "advice"

sparklymieow Sat 11-Jun-05 00:17:24

went out with some mums from the school once and my best mate (who has no kids) and they were all chatting about their kids while me and my mate had a laugh about everything else, one of the other mums said 'oh yea X (me) knows about premature births and septanimea(sp??) and I turned round and said 'i'm sorry, I'm not talking abou kids or special needs tonight'

unicorn Sat 11-Jun-05 00:28:42

Tonight reminded me of someone bringing along their very dreary holiday snaps, (because you had once been to the same place)and drearily ploughing through them.
'oh xxx is doing this now.. it's soooo cute' (yawn)

'tis why I love this virtual life,you can dip in and out... Shame we can't have 'threads' in RL!

Hi sophable when's next sw meetup?! (bit more interesting than my nights out!)

fatmomma Sat 11-Jun-05 00:34:00

sparklymieow has it right I think, if you want a kids free night in every sense of the phrase say so at the start or even when you organise the event.

It's natural for mums to talk about kids but it can be extreeeeemly boring if you don't have any. If we have a 'non-mum' in our group for any reason I always make a big effort to steer the conversation away from the little ones. That usually means talking about our dp's though .

I do have one work colleague with an 18 month old ds who never talks about him and I think that is very odd. If you ask how he is she just says 'he's fine' then changes the subject?!

Know what you mean about the hairdressers milge, i'd rather mine just cut my hair and shut up tbh so I don't usually mention ds! Getting my hair cut is a very rare moment of me time and I like to spend it in quiet contemplation .

Tortington Sat 11-Jun-05 00:59:04

ont he other hand i-dont get to talk to people about my kids very often so is nice to be able to bitch about them and the latest police report or stoned episode or my begging social services to take one away - and them saying "errr no!"

i cant stand parent who go on about their precious daughter named "champagne"..... oht he drama to get her into the local best school in the ara - becuase she is gifted - very gifted

everyone except me things their kids are gifted - am just a realist

Chandra Sat 11-Jun-05 01:08:26

I'm like you, I have a normal kid who does normal things, has normal life and I expect would have a normal future. Sure, everything else above that is a welcomed extra. I don't mind mothers mentioning their children, what I mind is that attitude that make you think they are convinced they have the best children on Earth and the world must know every little tiny weeny detail of what they do.

misdee Sat 11-Jun-05 08:00:43

i dont go out so dont get this problem

Sax Sat 11-Jun-05 08:29:02

Ahhhhh misdee, hazard of having children eh!!!

Unicorn - maybe the ladies don't have anything else to discuss - another hazard of having children, people do become wrapped up in them and never discuss anything else or............

maybe thats the common ground therefore like we all chat on here, maybe thats their only release to discuss their trials and tribulations with their children - afterall you can't discuss it with your dp or dh all the time can you and after a day with the children another adult to empathise with is what some people need.

Just a thought.

purpleturtle Sat 11-Jun-05 08:33:51

It can be quite difficult if you're a SAHM, because your kids are your work, as well as your kids. Finding time to go out is hard enough sometimes, finding time to do something interesting enough to talk about on those rare occasions can be pretty impossible!

whymummy Sat 11-Jun-05 08:56:15

last time i went out with some mums from school i said to them in the restaurant "forbidden to talk about kids or husbands" they all went "yes,great" and then spent the next 10 minutes going mmmmmmmmmm errrrrrrrr mmmmmmm isn't it cold today?dd didn't want to wear her coat and......" that was it,mind you after several bottles of wine the conversation went from kids to sex,some giving far too much information,lol
like purpleturtle said it can be very hard for some mums to talk about anything else

tigermoth Sat 11-Jun-05 09:00:54

One of my childless collegues has a great way of stopping me talking about my sons. She starts talking about her own childhood. Very interesting for five minutes, but then my attention wanders and I change the subject away from children and childhood.

unicorn Sat 11-Jun-05 09:07:24

But just coz you're a sahm (and one of these mums isn't) shouldn't make you deadly dull and lose your own identity tho!

What about talking about world issues (?!).. or even just talking about the band who were on would have been something.

I can talk about kids at toddler groups etc... the occasions I go out I want a break!

good idea tigermoth.. next time(?) I will extold the virtues of my 2 ad infinitum, and perhaps they will get the idea that 'all children and no play makes Jill a very dull girl!!!!!'

Sax Sat 11-Jun-05 09:10:41

I agree with whymummy that when the wine is flowing people are a lot more likely to break down the barriers and feel more comfortable chatting about other subjects - Unicorn, maybe it needs you to bring some of these other subjects up!

mrsflowerpot Sat 11-Jun-05 09:12:23

Were you friends before children? I find that with my 'mummy friends' it's very hard to get off the children topic because that is what we have in common and how we met, and actually, apart from one woman I've met since having ds, we're not really that close, just friendly.

whymummy Sat 11-Jun-05 09:29:50

that's it mrsflowerpot with my friends back home i can talk about anything,we have lots of debates about politics,football,abortion,religion you name it and maybe is because we knew each other long before the children came along,all my friends here i've known them through nursery and school and the children are probably the only thing in common

Louise1980 Sat 11-Jun-05 09:33:55

Yes yes yes!!!

I love my kids and in the right setting can talk about them with the best but not on a night out!

Going out tonight and I wont be talking kids!!!

mogwai Sat 11-Jun-05 14:06:51

check out the thread on "relationships" about staying friends with childless people. Interesting points made

helsi Sat 11-Jun-05 14:12:10

what else do you have in common with them though and do any of them have any other interests outside of family life. Sometimes it can be the only thing they have to talk about.
I'm not on their side and I totally agree with you. I would have been pulling my hair out too!!

Gobbledigook Sat 11-Jun-05 14:42:06

Where were all you lot when I did a thread about someone bringing a baby with them on a girls night out?! Never mind talking about them! I was slated for that one with everyone telling me they wouldn't mind!!!

gaelsgirl Sat 11-Jun-05 18:05:15

I refuse to talk kids when i don't have kids with me

unicorn Sun 12-Jun-05 13:46:39

Last night we had a pal round who has no kids...had a far more interesting time!
Lots of chat about ,well everything really...

I think I shall be giving my 'mums nights out' a bit of a wider berth from now.

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