Am I being unreasonable?

[emkana]

Tomorrow I'm going on a night out with a group of friends. Friend A and B I see regularly two or three times a week, with the children. Friend C and D I used to see about once a week, but now only rarely because of jobs etc. We manage to have a night out about once or twice a year. Every time we do go out friend A (and possibly B, but I'm not sure if it's her) asks her sister-in-law, who is also friends with B, to come along too. Neither me nor C nor D know this woman at all, apart from those nights out we've never met her. Is it unreasonable of me to be slightly annoyed that this woman is asked to come along? When she's not part of the group at all? Or should I think "The more the merrier"? She's nice, btw, and I have nothing against her as such, I just don't know her very well.

[emkana]

I thought everybody loved unreasonable threads?
Or is this one too boring?

[hunkermunker]

I think it's a bit odd, definitely.

You say she's nice - can you arrange to see her separately for lunch one day and see what your friend thinks? Or is that too stirry

[debs26]

i dont think its odd. many people have limited time for girly nights so try to see as many people as they can when they do get chance. maybe sil is in need of a few friends and your mate thought introducing her would be of help

[coldtea]

I can see both points but i don't think you're being unreasonable. Other people can change the dynamics in a group.

[Tissy]

you say "every time we go out"- maybe friend A considers this a regular arrangement, as you haven't complained before?

[emkana]

That's the thing, coldtea, because SIL, A and B all have husbands who work together so they're always talking about the going-ons at their work, which C and D and me know nothing about.

[emkana]

Tissy, I think A thinks this is normal now, yes. I found it odd the first time round, just not very good at complaining.

[hunkermunker]

Have you spoken to C and D about it?

[emkana]

No, I haven't. Don't know if I will because I don't want to appear as the unsociable spoilsport that I probably am .

[Miaou]

I could see it being a problem if you all didn't get on with her but you say she is nice ... couldn't you see it as an opportunity to get to know her better? She could turn out to be a good friend of yours in the future.

[hunkermunker]

Good point!

How are they when you're all out? Do they chat with her or are they bored with the work talk?

[emkana]

It often ends up with me talking to C and D and A and B talking to SIL, which I think is a bit of a shame because A, B and SIL see each other all the time anyway, whereas we don't see C and D so much anymore.

[WideWebWitch]

I'd be slightly annoyed but would probably decide I couldn't very well say anything without seeming petty so probably wouldn't tbh. Not that I tihnk you're petty, just that A and B may see it that way, especially if it's gone on a while and you haven't said anything before.

[hunkermunker]

Can you just say, right, no more work talk! Or would they be offended?

[emkana]

Might try that, hunkermunker, if the moment seems right (and I had a glass of wine)