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If you had the money,would you take your 4.4yr old to Australia for 3 months????

(50 Posts)
whooosh Sun 11-Oct-09 21:20:07

My sister tragically committed suicide 5 weeks ago and left most of her "estate" to my 4.5yr old.

This tragedy,combined with 6mts of personal problems leaving me single parent have made me really re-assess my life.

We have friends in Oz and I love the country and I would love to take DD out of school in the UK for 3 mts,stop off in HK or Bangkok then base ourselves in Melbourne for 8weeks or so,where I would like to put DD in school.

My plan would then be to spend time in Sydney with someone my DD adores and come back via somewhere else.

Am I mad?

DD is at a private school which (as long as I paid the fees) I think,would keep her place open.I could take "homework" with us but think the benefit she would reap from the trip wold outweigh any educational defecit.

Is it best to do it Feb/Mach/April 2010 or wait another year?

I know my sister would thoroughly approve but as I can't talk to her about it I am seeking the opnions of the lovely Mumsnetters who will be very honest in their responses.

Earlybird Sun 11-Oct-09 21:26:42

Who is in Sydney that your dd adores? Not clear from your post. When did dd last see this person? Sounds as if you need this trip for a change of circumstance/setting, rather than it being any real benefit to your dd, who tbh, is unlikely to remember much about the visit when she is older.

Sympathies on loss of your sister.

defineme Sun 11-Oct-09 21:28:38

Sounds like a fab plan especially as your sister would have approved of it.My only but would be if you had any more pressing financial needs, but I assume that's not the case?
My twins don't start school until they're 5th birthday (2 intakes a year school) so I wouldn't worry about the time off as some children haven't even started school.
Do you need to put her in school while she's there? I am finding my 4 yr olds remember special holidays especially if we make photo diaries.
Go for it - trip of a lifetime and honouring your sister's memory and wishes.

whooosh Sun 11-Oct-09 21:29:35

It is her nanny who was with us for 18mts who she still speaks to/about regularly.(I have given up FT work since)Often I am told I can't sit in "XXXXX'S" chair!

I asked the question for the very reason you mentioned-would we both benefit or am I being selfish?

Littlefish Sun 11-Oct-09 21:30:52

What sad news about your sister.

In your position, I would take the time out and go to Australia as long as the school place can be held open so that your dd knows she will be coming back.

I agree with Earlybird that it sounds like this trip is important for you at this stage in your life. This is completely understandable given your recent bereavement.

I really wouldn't worry about taking "homework" with you. Just go, and have a fantastic time!

QueensShilling Sun 11-Oct-09 21:31:55

I would go

Littlefish Sun 11-Oct-09 21:32:30

Your dd will benefit from being with you, seeing her lovely nanny, being in a different place, etc. etc. etc.

whooosh Sun 11-Oct-09 21:32:43

I think if I wait,I will have more pressing financial needs which is why I feel like I should just do it-and my sister definitely would have approved (her best friend is Australian and would try to be there at the same time).

I just thought that putting her in school would be good for her to experience and tbh-not sure I could fully entertain/stimulate her 24/7 for 8-12 weeks......

MrsJiggle86 Sun 11-Oct-09 21:32:55

Sorry to go against the grain, but if the money has been left for your dd, shouldnt it be put in a savings account for her to decide what she wants to with it, im sure she would love the adventure, but she would love disneyland just as much at that age, sorry about your sister

solo Sun 11-Oct-09 21:33:24

Go! enjoy it. I took Ds when he was 3.2 and he does remember bits and pieces of the trip, though we only went for a month and travelled a bit.

I'm sorry about your sister...that's very hard and very sad

Ivykaty44 Sun 11-Oct-09 21:33:32

sympathies on the loss of your sister.

I would wait till 2011 or 2012 - she will remeber much more

JaMmRocks Sun 11-Oct-09 21:35:04

I'd go. I think you'll always wonder 'what if', if you don't go. You can always cut it short if it's not quite what you want, but you should definitely do it.

LeninGhoul Sun 11-Oct-09 21:35:35

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

mrsjammi Sun 11-Oct-09 21:36:24

Message withdrawn

cupcakesinthesnow Sun 11-Oct-09 21:38:13

Yes! Go!

I would not worry too much about taking homework either - she will barely be 5 years old so just some simple reading books to encourage reading would be enough imho.

I am sorry to hear of you sister's death and hope if you take this trip it will give you time to remember her and think of her as looking down on you where ever you believe she is, watching you and DD enjoy the trip she has enabled you to take

whooosh Sun 11-Oct-09 21:40:34

Sorry-didn't give full details of bequest.She did leave most to DD but I have a small endowment due to me which is what I would use.DD's money will be put aside for her without question.
My darling sister was only 36 and loved her neice and the feeling was mutual and DD would know that her Auntie had bought us a holiday....I want to keep the memory of her alive for both me and DD.....

whooosh Sun 11-Oct-09 21:42:36

Oh and Lein-nobody would believe what has happened to me in the last 6mts if it was in a soap opera!
I now forbid anyone saying "don't worry Whooosh,it can't get any worse" did and I know it could......

whooosh Sun 11-Oct-09 21:43:18

Sorry-that should say "Lenin"

PlonkerCandleInAPumpkin Sun 11-Oct-09 21:43:54

So sorry to hear about your sister sad

I would go, without doubt. Forget about homework, she's only a baby and doesn't even need to be in school yet.

FiveGoMadonTheDanceFloor Sun 11-Oct-09 21:44:08

Haven't read anyhing else but the thread title but yes would be my answer

IdrisTheDragon Sun 11-Oct-09 21:46:31

I think going would be a good idea.

defineme Sun 11-Oct-09 21:47:07

How lovely to do this - don't worry about entertaining her -the kangeroos/beach/rainforest/whatever other oz cliche I can think of will do that..
3 mths with her mum on holiday away from the daily grind - of course it will be for her benfit.

Merle Sun 11-Oct-09 21:52:21

I would go. It sounds like a great idea.

Keep us posted on what a great time you'll have.

You only get one chance in life. You never know what's on the horizon. How thoughtful of your sister to have left you and your daughter a bequest, given the (no doubt) awful circs of the end of her life. You should take what she gave you and use it to enhance your life with your daughter.

I'm getting the suitcases down now.

VerityBrulee Sun 11-Oct-09 21:52:37

We went to Melbourne and Sydney for 6 months when we had 3 and 5 year old ds.

We all had the time of our lives, and the boys still talk about the adventures they had there.

Go, enjoy yourselves and have special memories your sister will have helped you create.

aristoBLACKcat Sun 11-Oct-09 21:55:02

yes, a brilliant idea.

so sorry about your sister - that's so sad, but you sound like you need a 'break' smile.

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