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What are the best spoonerisms you've heard?

(75 Posts)
Hayls Thu 09-Jun-05 18:06:15

Unfortunately these came from me:
when trying to remember the names of the 7 dwarves- Doc, Sneezy, DUMPY and GROPEY. Thought my mum would cry laughing

when explaining why we weren't going out on Easter Sunday to my mum- the bunny c*nt's been hancelled...

Bonkerz Thu 09-Jun-05 18:10:52

betty swollocks! my dh always uses this spoonerism!!

Blu Thu 09-Jun-05 18:13:37

We had to undertake a most tedious excercise courtesy of a gvt quango, called 'Ranking and Weighting'. I always called it 'wanking and rating'.

And a colleague accidentallly called Jill Dando Jan Dildo.

DS sings 'Bingle Jells, Bingle Jells..' - but says that is how his bear pronounces it because he is only 3.5 weeks old!

ScrewballMuppet Thu 09-Jun-05 18:16:08

I didn't realise there was a word for this. I often mix up words when I go to say one thing and change my mind and come out with a concoction of the two
will have athink which one was the best

Hayls Thu 09-Jun-05 18:16:13

Thinking of more... dh says Rappy Nash and just told me his dad refers to a jig bobby

Hayls Thu 09-Jun-05 18:16:55

(big jobby btw)

Nightynight Thu 09-Jun-05 18:18:13

ranking and weighting it wd take a govt dept to think that up!

jampots Thu 09-Jun-05 18:23:39

BIL once went into a store and asked for "shitted feets"

ScrewballMuppet Thu 09-Jun-05 18:44:36


mouseman Thu 09-Jun-05 18:46:50

our local toddler group is called Tiddlers and Tots - I call it Toddlers and T*ts every single time (just as appropriate though!)

bunny2 Thu 09-Jun-05 18:47:31

My MIL asked what I was going to buy dh for his birthday. I meant to say a "stunt kite" but it came out "cunt stite" I think she is still wondering what on earth a stite is.

babster Thu 09-Jun-05 18:52:28

Lemon Turd Cart. I was too young to know why my mum was laughing so hard.

Hausfrau Thu 09-Jun-05 18:55:29

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

madmarchhare Thu 09-Jun-05 18:58:11

When people are being a little bit silly, MIL (you really would have to know her to appreciate) calls them a dickhead and still has absolutely no idea why we all all ROFL.

madmarchhare Thu 09-Jun-05 18:59:07

just realised it not what were on about!

whymummy Thu 09-Jun-05 19:02:50

lol at all of these
while visiting dh in hospital i went to make myself a coffee,the woman that looked after the coffee trolley was horrible,i looked at the kettle and asked her "is the hotter wat?" she looked at me up and down and went "what???" i had to leave cos i was laughing so much and she was getting angrier and angrier

charleepeters Thu 09-Jun-05 19:04:11

i always ask dp to go to the shop to get me some Jen and berrys ice cream stange thing is he always knows what i mean!

JoolsToo Thu 09-Jun-05 19:05:37

don't know why but I always say par cark

whymummy Thu 09-Jun-05 19:07:40

i've also said coughy chest instead of chesty cough

marjoriedawessassy Thu 09-Jun-05 19:09:28

Our physics teacher once told us all to wrap the magnet in the fooking coil (cooking foil)!

frogs Thu 09-Jun-05 19:17:59

Ds did this a lot, and still does occasionally, though he's nearly 6. My all-time favourites were Pinnie the Wooh and cockporn (popcorn). Needless to say, we had to stop making the stuff for a while...

binkie Thu 09-Jun-05 20:04:37

Oh, shitted feets, I have tears running down. I think it's because of the imagined John Lewis lady

Not a spoonerism, but my mum who's quite brisk, once told me (when v little) to put on your drawing-rooms and go into the slipper - and was Not Amused when the entire family fell about

hunkermunker Thu 09-Jun-05 20:09:30

PMSL at these!

I can't say width restriction - always ridth westiction.

I often have trouble with using the right word though - I get a bit forgetful halfway through a sentence and have talked about taking things out of the office (oven), called hayfever gingerbread and admired fire engines (fir trees) on a Christmas card.

Dior Thu 09-Jun-05 20:13:10

Message withdrawn

Hausfrau Thu 09-Jun-05 20:17:43

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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