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Appropriate dress for a funeral?

(7 Posts)
swivellyscooter Tue 07-Jun-05 21:50:57

It is the funeral of my beloved Grandma on Friday this week.

dh and me are taking all of the children, dd aged 13 and ds's aged 11, 9, 2.5 and 6mths.

I have not been to a funeral since one of my GD's died back in 1990 and I can't remember it much.

I was thinking of dressing the two older boys in black school trousers, white school shirt and then buying a black tie each. Would you say this was ok?

Obviously the baby will be in normal baby clothes, but what about my 2.5 yo ds? Usual clothes or something black?

dd was thinking of wearing black school trousers with one of those tops which looks like a shirt under a jumper which is black, with a white shirt collar with very fine, pink and yellow stripes which looks hardly noticeable.

dh? Suit or just shirt sleeves with black tie? Should it be a white shirt or would a coloured shirt look ok?

I am wearing black trousers. Would it be too much to wear a completely black top with them or should I wear something bright on top? I have a black v-neck top with white collar and sleeves. Bear in mind I am on crutches so cannot get out to buy anything for myself.

I hope you can help me on this one.

starlover Tue 07-Jun-05 21:53:35

everything you have suggested for the kids sounds just fine. I wouldn't worry too much about finding something black for 2.5 yr old... just something smart.

it really depends what kind of affair it is.. I went to my nana's funeral a couple of weeks ago and wore a pink flowery top... because it's what she would have expected of me!

motherinferior Tue 07-Jun-05 21:55:21

The only thing I'd add is to be comfortable. It's going to be difficult enough without physical discomfort as well - make sure you're not wearing a jacket too tight to mop your eyes.

I'm so sorry for your loss.

collision Tue 07-Jun-05 21:55:48

I would not dress in too much black and would def not buy black ties for the boys.

uniforms are fine for the boys imo.

Little ds I would dress normally. Children are a great distraction at something sad like this so I would keep it as normal as possible.

DH in a suit as normal but no need for a black tie I dont think.

The black and white outfit sounds fine to me.

I think you should try and celebrate the life of your Grandma and keep it as simple a day as possible.

Janh Tue 07-Jun-05 21:58:41

Sorry about your grandma, SS.

The clothes you are planning sound fine to me. How black does it have to be though? When my dad died my kids (aged 19, 16, 13 and 9) just wore smart - not black particularly although I think the older 2 (DDs) wore black trousers.

I had black trousers and a cream jumper with black stripes. DH wore a suit - think he had black tie and white shirt but can't remember . I'm sure as long as yours are smart that's fine, and respectful enough?

swivellyscooter Tue 07-Jun-05 22:03:02

So dh and the older boys needn't wear black ties? Should the boys wear any ties at all? Or just open necked white shirt?

I was feeling myself that completely black for me would have been a bit much, so might go with a brighter top. When I asked my mum about dress, she just said she was going to be "muted" but not quite sure what she meant.

It all feels very sombre and I think I'm going to make sure everyone knows to wear the brightest clothes they can at my funeral.

gossifer Tue 07-Jun-05 22:07:17

dear ss, i'm so sorry about your grandma
my grampa died 3 weeks ago and i was also unsure about what to wear, my partner and i ended up going in black because i felt that it would show respect to the older generation (and looked smart, we dress v.casually normally), but my ds (then 13weeks) was just dressed in normal clothes
i think you should dress your family in what you would feel most comfortable in, that's the main thing, good luck

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