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My son is being bullied - what to do next.

(14 Posts)
jellyjelly Mon 28-Sep-09 22:00:54

My son has been being bullied since he went into year 2 a few weeks ago.

The first time, he was being kicked by a child and being nudged under the table so much that my son was making mistakes and was not allowed a rubber to rub out the mistakes.

Teh second time he was kicked/punched inthe testicles 8 times.

This is by the same child each time.

Tonight I go to pick up my son from his dads who tells me that this child has drawn all over my son.

I have been told by my son that this is not a fun game that has gone too far and that he is hurting him.

After the second time I got the response from the teacher who said that they had a group talk abotu being kind to others and that one person was being mad to feel sad. The child was made to stand by the teacher for a couple of breaks so that they can teach him how other play nicely and happily.

I asked if the parents should be informed I was told that they would not to give him the benefit of the doubt.

I have spoken about each incident when it has happened and its becoming too much of a pattern and not one i want to continue.

What can I do, they sit on the same table and he is still kicking him under it.

I work in a school too.

piscesmoon Mon 28-Sep-09 22:07:43

Go and see the Head. Ask to see the anti bullying policy.

jellyjelly Mon 28-Sep-09 22:09:09

I know what is in our policy and it doesnt say alot other than everyone has the right to be protected, blah blah.

Any other thoughts???

Quattrocento Mon 28-Sep-09 22:17:23

DS experienced three incidents of violence and repeated incidents of name-calling and unpleasant behaviour from one boy who suffers from some sort of behavioural issues.

I wrote a letter after the second incident. After the third incident, I went to the head, and told her that if a further incident occurred, I would (a) call the police and (b) insist on having a meeting with her and the governors and I would be formally represented, and we could all examine the issue of repeated assaults being suffered by various pupils (not just DS) at her school.

In response to which the parents of the offending boy were brought in, the boy is undergoing counselling for his behaviour, profuse apologies all round.

Of course I shouldn't have had to go nuclear, but I do fully intend to do exactly what I said if there is any recurrence.

Sometimes you just gotta ... Infants get so sad and unhappy when they get bullied.

piscesmoon Mon 28-Sep-09 22:18:58

I would still go and see the Head and make a big fuss. It sounds as if it is just waffle.
See the kidscape site here for advice.

jellyjelly Mon 28-Sep-09 22:21:14

What do you mean waffle?

jellyjelly Mon 28-Sep-09 22:22:07

Quattro - Who would you have asked to represent you?

Quattrocento Mon 28-Sep-09 22:29:20

That's an interesting question and we gave that some serious thought. We approached a local employment lawyer who seemed to have a very broad range of experience in doing stuff with educational establishments. That might not have been the right choice though because of course it is an issue of assault which is properly a matter for criminal litigation.

Had to ask around a lot before we got to a sensible choice. She was ready to attend a meeting with us. It was going to be expensive though - £875 plus VAT for a meeting. I'm sort of hoping that it won't come to that, though.

We felt it would put the whole issue on a much more formal footing and force the school to take it seriously.

jellyjelly Mon 28-Sep-09 22:31:03

Thankyou, I am fed up of him being hurt either ohysically or emotionally. I was bullied for yrs. One day I lost it and ended up paying for it. Not nice at all.

Monty100 Mon 28-Sep-09 23:07:52

Phone the Head and tell her you are keep him off school for the rest of the week as he is suffering from stress due to bullying.

Might get someone's attention?

angry for you and ds.

piscesmoon Tue 29-Sep-09 19:03:50

'What do you mean waffle? '

If it says that everyone has the right to be protected it should say exactly how they are going to protect them and what steps will be taken. See the Head and tell her that you want action-you are not prepared to sit back while it continues.

cocolepew Tue 29-Sep-09 19:09:08

Sorry to hear this, could I hijack and ask those who have given advice to look here? Thanks.

I hope you get it sorted.

jellyjelly Tue 29-Sep-09 22:17:12

Thankyou, i told the teacher today and i am still unsure what exactly she will be doing. I think she is unsure or unhappy to contact the parents.

I have given permission to my son thought i am deeply unhappy about it that he can hit back if he does anything else to him and that i will back him as the other kid is a bully.

I think i will be writing a letter about it to the head teacher.

On a more positive note my son has been moved to another table.

MY ds just said when i asked what he wanted was ' for him to be able to play nicer'.

She also gave him a happy, sad, and a middle face for him at lunchtimes.

piscesmoon Wed 30-Sep-09 07:43:10

Schools can't have it both ways. They do not want DCs hitting back and your DS will no doubt be in trouble if he does, therefore the school must do something. It sounds as if she has made a start. I would monitor it. Keep a log of incidents and go back in if you are not happy.

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