'older' mums wanted

[rachel2323]

Hi I am a mum of 3 and nearly 40. I am also doing a PhD studying the experiences of 'older' mothers. I would be really interested to hear from anyone who has had a baby after the age of 35 (having had a child/ children) previously. I would particularly like to focus on women who had children/ a child early and then had a 'big' gap and went on to have another child/children after the age of 35. I would love to hear from anyone who feels that any of this is relevant to them - it would really help to get my research moving.

Also if anyone else is studying with young children - please let me know how to manage it - I am struggling!

Thanks guys - look forward to hearing from you.
Rachel x

[catsmother]

Hi ..... I'm 44, had my daughter at a month shy of 39, after a gap of 13.5 years (I'd had my son at 25).

I also went back to college when my son was 2.5, eventually graduating when he was 7.

What exactly do you need to know / want to discuss ?

[3littlefrogs]

Hi I had a third child at the age of 42, after a 7 year gap. Two eldest are 2 yrs apart.

Retrained and went back to work when youngest was 1 yr old.

[humf]

hi, may youngest son is 2years 3months i had him a month before my 39th birthday. i was 21 years old when i had me eldest son (different relationship), he's now 18 years old. We're discussing possibly having another, but at 40 years, i'm a little hesitant about the risks. Let me know what details you need if i fit into your study catergory.

[rachel2323]

Hello humf and 3little frogs,

I don't seem to be able to contact either of you directly as the website says that you are not able to be contacted by another mumsnetter? Could you possibly change that, or maybe suggest a way round it please?
Sorry not got back to you previously. I've only just got used to the website and been looking after three children on my own for last few days.
I appreciate you replying to me and you are very much the kind of mothers that I would like to take part in my research. I am very interested in women's experiences of being an 'older' mother having had a baby/ babies previously, particularly if there has been a gap. It would be great if you want to share your story; what are your life experiences which led to you to have baby after age 35? What were the similarities/ differences with your earlier experiences of pregnancy/ mothering? How do you feel about your experiences of healthcare (doctors/ midwives/ health visitors etc) as an ?older? mother? Do you have any opinions about the way ?older? mothers are portrayed in the media? I would be very grateful if you could share your views on any of this and anything else you think might be relevant.
The intention of the study is to contribute to knowledge and understanding of ?older? women?s experiences of pregnancy. It would be really helpful if you would get back to me with any information you want to share.
Thanks and best wishes,
Rachel

[rachel2323]

hi catsmother,
I have sent you a message privately. I hope tou have received it? I am still getting the hang of this website, and feel a bit incompetent at the mo.
Thanks for your help,
Rachel

[Wags]

Hi, I had my children at 41 & 43, no others tho, so no big age gaps. Would be willing to chat to you. I can be contacted via CAT.

[rachel2323]

Thanks so much for getting back to me> I'm so sorry for being a numpty, but how do I use CAT? I've only just become a mumsnetter and am struggling to negotiate the site

[3littlefrogs]

Hi rachel.
If you email me at

3 tadpoles at g mail dot com

Have to write it like that to stop the email harvesters, but you can put it together - I will have a think and answer your questions as best i can.

[GentleOtter]

Hi rachel.

I had my first child at 22, second at 36 then third at 47 so whopping age gaps.
You can CAT me if I can be of any help.

Re studying with young children - it can be difficult to get time to focus ( I studied medicine when dd was young ) but I used to get up really early (5am) and found peace to study then.

[rachel2323]

hi 3 little frogs. thank you very much. have sent email to that address from my own email account. wasn't sure if 3 in numbers or letters so sent to both. marked it rachel2323 from mumsnet.

you are very kind,
rachel

[rachel2323]

hi Riven and GentleOttter,

thanks very much for getting in touch. I have sent CAT messages to you both. I'm finding this website quite hard to negotiate. Please can you tell me where the CAT messages appear when you reply to me?
I am sounding like a total numpty - sorry!

Riven please let me know if you can receive CAT messages, as I will resend if you have not received it,

Thanks again and best wishes,
Rachel x

[rachel2323]

Dear Humf,

Would love to hear your story, but when I've tried to contact you it says:
Sorry, humf has chosen not to receive "Contact another Mumsnetter" email from mumsnet. We can't pass a message on for you.
If you wish, post a message on talk requesting that humf revise this on the email options page. Or ask them to send a C-A-M message to you.

Please can we work out a way to do this?

Best wishes,
Rachel

[rachel2323]

Hi Riven, Thanks very much. Where can you find your email box on the page? Did you get my email outlining the questions and the topics of my research? Thanks for all your help,
R x

[OrmIrian]

I'm 44. I had 1 at 31, 2 at 34 and 3 at 38.

[ellceeell]

Hi I had a third child at the age of 42, after a gap. Two eldest are nearly 3 yrs apart and now aged 22 and 20. You can CAT me if you like.

[rachel2323]

Hi OrmIrian & Ellceeell,

Thank you so much for your input.

Have contacted you both via CAT. Please let me know if any probs with that.
I am very excited about receiving women's stories of their lives and experiences of motherhood for my research.
Best wishes,
R x

[GentleOtter]

I never received my CAT although it says that it ran out in August yet I received one the other day.

[ilovesprouts]

hi im 41 had my first at 21 ,2nd at 23 and my 3rd at 38

[Scotia]

Hi, you can contact me if you like. I had mine at 17, 19, 21, 24, 37 & 43. I've got a quarter of a century between my eldest and youngest.

[elvislives]

Aren't there a lot of us?!

Rachel I posted on your other thread. I had my four in my 20s and they are now 23, 22, 20 and 18. Then we had DD who is 2.5. Same father for all (which surprised the consultant who had assumed new relationship)

[ellceeell]

I was amazed at how often people asked "same father?" Cheeky buggers!

[rachel2323]

Dear Everyone,

I'm not sure that the CAT thing is working properly so I am going to post here in case you have not heard from me personally. I am delighted by the responses!
I appreciate you all replying to me and you are very much the kind of mothers that I would like to take part in my research. I am very interested in women's experiences of being an 'older' mother having had a baby/ babies previously, particularly if there has been a gap. It would be great if you want to share your story; what are your life experiences which led to you to have baby after age 35? What were the similarities/ differences with your earlier experiences of pregnancy/ mothering? How do you feel about your experiences of healthcare (doctors/ midwives/ health visitors etc) as an ?older? mother? Do you have any opinions about the way ?older? mothers are portrayed in the media?
I would be very grateful if you could share your views on any of this and anything else you think might be relevant.
The intention of the study is to contribute to knowledge and understanding of ?older? women?s experiences of pregnancy. I envisage that it will be presented to the NHS to inform practice. It would be really helpful if you would get back to me with any information you want to share.
Thanks and best wishes,
Rachel