Do you give presents just to receive?

[lilibet]

We have three children, Bil and Sil have two. We buy birthday presetns for all four of them. They buy for dh and ds1, and get nothing for the rest of us

They do know that it is our birthdays as I have in the past been wished a happy birthday! And we once sent them cake from ds2. As I see it I have three options

1. tell them - don't want to do this as I dopn't wnat them buying for us just because we have told them to.
   
   
2. Stop buying for them - difficult as it was ds1's birthday last and he got something and then they have all four of their birthdays before we have another. I keep hoping that they won't get him anything then I can just say that we are following their lead.
   
   
3. Shut up about it unless i am prepared to do either of the above!
   
   I hate confrontation and it's not as if me, dd and ds2 are short of anything.
   
   Should this be bothering me, am I just giving presetns to receive them?

[Twiglett]

1. call them the week before each birthday to let them know who's birthday is coming up and what they would like

[hunkermunker]

How bizarre to only get a present for one child!

Not sure what to suggest - perhaps your DH could say "Why don't we only buy for the children now we're all old enough to buy our own things when we want them"?

[lilibet]

oooh twiglett wish I was brave enough!

It''s dh's birthday at Christmas and he got a joint present last year of a very nice cd player for his car - I get a small wooden board for chopping herbs on from Avon.


That makes me sound so selfish and shallow!

[hunkermunker]

I think that people often get "nicer" presents for their actual relative then not such expensive ones for their spouse though.

But only buying for one child is strange.

Can you tell them you're going to pick your favourite child of theirs to send gifts to?!

[dyzzidi]

I would get DH to say I would rather you didn't buy me and just buy the kids Plural. How rooten for your kids not to get treated the same way.

I believe in you can't buy one without the other.

Even if a friend has a new baby I always buy the sibling a gift so they don't feel left out.

[bubblerock]

I agree with saying just buy for the kids. We have quite a big family and my parents and their siblings decided to just buy for the children (except for one auntie and uncle that don't have children) And also they agreed on a cut off point of 18 for Christmas and 21 for birthdays, It meant it didn't get out of hand and expensive for anyone.

[lilibet]

I can see that then we will be buying two presents and they will be buying one!

Or "we will buy for the children but please remember that we ahve three!!!"

[Twiglett]

actually we only buy for kids tbh

but I do think they either buy for no kids or for all kids

maybe just take them aside and say that other kids have noticed that one gets and they don't and would they mind awfully just buying a little something for the other two

[Bugsy2]

lilibet, how odd just to pick just two members of your family to give prezzies too. If I were you, I'd either let it ride, or suggest to them no more prezzies, as you'd all be quite happy with just a card.