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need advice - wedding and friends!

(9 Posts)
puddle Wed 01-Jun-05 16:02:04

Would welcome views on whether I should get involved here or not.

Very old friend is getting married. Have 3 very old friends, all of us get on well. Names have been changed to protect the immocent. Let's call them Brenda, Shirley and Nora.

Brenda the bride to be has invited all of us to her wedding. Shirley has an invitation for wedding and reception. Her partner (of 4 years - not co-habiting) is invited to the reception only.

Nora and partner have been invited to wedding and reception. They have been together for 4 months-ish.

Shirley is upset that Nora's partner is going to the whole thing and hers is not. She sees it as not recognising the importance of her relationship. Brenda has told her she's sorry but it's all to do with numbers. Think that Shirley wouldn't mind if not for the fact that Nora's partner seems to have preferential treatment.

Brenda the bride has met each partner a few times. I would say she 'knows' them equally. Likes both as far as I know.

So...my question is...should I tip off Brenda that Shirley is really upset? If I was Brenda I'd want to know. Shirley doesn't want to talk to her about it at all.

bibiboo Wed 01-Jun-05 16:06:14

I'd be inclined to say something but being int he throes of wedding planning, she could either bite your head off, or thank you for pointing out an obvious oversight on her part.
Good luck x

LGJ Wed 01-Jun-05 16:07:17

OOOOOoooooooooooooH


As my mother always says, nothing like a wedding for a row


It does seem a bit odd, not sure what I would do TBH.


Keep this bumped there is bound to be a row about it

puddle Wed 01-Jun-05 16:09:53

I tend to want to stick my oar in, that's the problem. So sometimes need restraining. Also, there was inter-friend tension about my wedding which I found out about and was able to sort out.

Lizzylou Wed 01-Jun-05 16:11:55

Tip Brenda off, she will thank you for it if it's just been a mistake!

puddle Wed 01-Jun-05 16:14:12

It's not a mistake. I can only think that Brenda thinks that Shirley won't mind, whereas she KNOWS that Nora would mind and make a fuss!

bosscat Wed 01-Jun-05 16:14:52

I would say something tactfully. I don't blame your friend for being a bit miffed. TBH I think its dead cheeky inviting the partner just for the evening do. I wouldn't give a hoot about numbers, if you can't afford to have everyone and have to resort to such pettiness maybe its time to re-think the wedding plans?? I only had 70 at mine because we wanted to have everyone there for day and night and we were restricted by the place we were having the reception in as to how many we could have. I personally hate evening only invitations and think they are a bit tacky but its only my opinion. Different strokes for different folks after all. But to invite one and not the other is asking for trouble and brenda deserves to be told!

006 Wed 01-Jun-05 16:16:34

Would suggest Bride use Shirley's tolerance to explain rationale behing invitations - then invite her DP of 4 years. I know weddings are expensive, but good friends are worth it!

puddle Wed 01-Jun-05 16:54:48

consensus so far is to talk to brenda - any other thoughts?

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