The Mumsnet "Are You A Secret Mail Reader?" poll(3 Posts)
In light of the recent MailGate, I wondered if we should maybe out the Hate Mail lovers with a little questionnaire.
1. An Asian family moves in next door during August. They appear very well-spoken and have a nice car, but he doesn't appear to go out to work. Do you:
a) Assume he is a teacher, or works from home, and go round smiling to say hello.
b) Assume they have some sort of private inheritance, and smile and say hello.
c) Mutter to the neighbours about how the area is not what is used to be.
d) Write an outraged letter to your MP about workshy immigrants flooding the country.
2. What is the best method of dealing with paedophiles?
a) A comprehensive programme of counselling and rehabilitation.
b) A stiff prison sentence.
c) Chemical castration.
d) Cut their nads off with a rusty knife and hang them upside down.
3. What is the best attitude to have towards working women?
a) They are a valuable asset to the workforce and often more capable than men.
b) They can do the drudge jobs which fit in with the school run.
c) They should be considering putting their family first.
d) They are a disgrace, and farm out their children to strangers just so they can have a second car and a second holiday.
4. You notice a celebrity has put on a few pounds. Do you:
a) Admire her privately for having a curvaceous body.
b) Purse your lips and wonder if she is pregnant.
c) Mutter to your friends about how she has let herself go.
d) Talk loudly in the playground about how fat she has got and what a disgrace to women it is not to look immaculate at all times.
5. What do you think about the European Union?
a) It's a very good thing all round.
b) I'm generally in favour of closer ties with our overseas neighbours.
c) I'm doubtful as to whether a united Europe will work and want a referendum.
d) Not having those bloody foreigners coming over here and taking our jobs.
6. What do you think of David Cameron?
a) Slimy posh Tory git.
b) He seems like an efficient career politician, but I often disagree with his views.
c) While I don't agree with him on everything, I do believe it is time for change.
d) He is the best hope we have for Mending Broken Britain.
7. How much is your house worth?
a) None of your business.
b) Probably about £200,000 - not sure.
c) Over £400,000, I think.
d) I live in a 5-bedroomed £545,600 house.
8. What do you think about people on benefits?
a) A strong welfare state is a necessary part of a decent society, and anybody can be made unemployed.
b) It's good to have as a safety net, but too many people abuse the system.
c) Dubious - there are an awful lot of workshy types around who have no intention of finding employment.
d) They are feckless layabouts who spend it all on alcohol, cigarettes and plasma TVs.
Mostly (a): You'll be more at home with the Guardian, you tofu-munching do-gooder.
Mostly (b): You have liberal tendencies, but you do cast occasional covetous eyes at the Mail and have been known to read it "ironically".
Mostly (c): You are getting there. You're an occasional Mail reader who is on the verge of being hauled in. All it needs is a few more glances from a poor family or a couple more black people in your street.
Mostly (d): You are a staunch Mail reader, and this country is going to the dogs under the PC, liberal, right-on do-gooders. Only a Tory government can save it.
(All (d) - you are Paul Dacre.)
I think you've misworded something though - surely 'Mostly (d)' should read 'Only a strong dictator can save it'?
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