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Mindblowingly Trivial Annoyance

(24 Posts)
NotQuiteCockney Sat 28-May-05 07:57:14

Ok, I realise this is petty. Really petty. I realise people out there have actual problems. But this is still bugging me.

DH and I are dark-haired. I have always been dark-haired, while DH was blond as a boy. DS1 is blond. He essentially looks exactly like a child photo of DH. (I have had a few people assume I was his childminder or nanny.)

DS2 was born with dark hair. Dark eyelashes. Dark eyebrows. I thought he had lovely dark hair growing in, and that I might have a baby who looked related to me, at least a bit. But this morning, while feeding him, I noticed that his head is covered in very light blond, which are hiding behind the more visible dark hairs.

Is he going to be blond, too? I don't want two blond boys! I want them to be different!

(I know, they are different, but this is just such an unpleasant shock. I swear I'm not generally this petty and trivial.)

Does anyone else have haircolour issues with their kids?

Twiglett Sat 28-May-05 08:17:47

they aren't going to be blonde for ever - it'll start to turn

I was blonde till I was about 7 or 8 then it changed virtually overnight - I am dark brunette now with dark eyes

DH however is Irish (dark hair, pale skin, blue eyes) and my petty annoyance is everyone thinks DS (blonde hair / brown eyes) has his colouring when actually its mine .. mine I tell you .. all mine ... far more petty than yours I feel

expatinscotland Sat 28-May-05 08:24:35

No. I have very dark hair. My husband has dirty blonde hair. DD has chesnut brown hair and big green eyes. She doesn't look at all like me. She's the image of her father. Except her hair is darker .

basketcase Sat 28-May-05 08:27:31

DH and I are both very dark - naturally almost black hair. I have grey green eyes and Dh brown. So when DD1 turns up with golden hair and the bluest eyes anyone has seen I had more than a few raised eyebrows. MIL will not shut up about it, constantly saying that she looks nothing like their side of the family and only like mine.. She is my spitting image of me as a child and I had mid bond hair that went dark after age of 5. Sure enough DD1 is now 4 and her hair is becoming darker, now a mid brown with blond highlights but her beautiful eyes still cause comment. Makes me so upset that others are so quick to challenge your relationship and integrity so quickly and openly. It is so hurtful and outrageous. Even the other week when MIL stayed she mentioned how unusual her looks were considering her parentage and how it must be her personality she inherited from her dad... AAAAAAGH. I feel like doing a paternity test just to post to her.
DD2 is identical to her sister in looks but has her dads mid brown chocolatey eyes, gorgeous. At least she will be spared the inquisition from her own relatives - her hair looks like it will be darker too.

nutcracker Sat 28-May-05 09:10:02

My brother had white blonde hair until about 5 when it started to get darker.
He is now 30 and it is black.

charleepeters Sat 28-May-05 09:12:27

dp was white/blonde as s child after being born with jet black hair now at the age of 19 hes kind of mousy brown. ds was born with dark brown hair but now at 9 months is starting to go blonde he looks just like his daddy so i think he will be the same and go blonde then dark again. but im sure your boys will be beautiful what ever colour hair they end up with. xxx

SoupDragon Sat 28-May-05 09:18:58

DS1 was white blonde, DS2 is sandy, DH and I are both dark haired, almost black. DS1 is now 6 and when you look closely you can see his hair is now a mix of blonde and dark hair. DS2 has developed a dalmatian spot of dark hair on one side!

They'll change

SoupDragon Sat 28-May-05 09:19:25

both were born dark btw

bobbybob Sat 28-May-05 09:20:44

Ds has a shock of bright blonde hair, DH and I are both brown/black. When my brother is with him he looks more like his father (right up till he asks me a silly question).

NotQuiteCockney Sat 28-May-05 09:29:44

I'm not sure they'll change - DH did, and my dad did, too, but both of us have blonde sisters, so who knows?

At least DS2 has hazel eyes, like DH and I - DS1 has blue eyes, too.

(Oh, and it's perfectly normal for two people with dark eyes to make a blue-eyed kid, from what I know. It's the two blue-eyed parents with a dark-eyed kid who need to be asking questions.)

I can totally cope with having one (permanently) blond son, and one dark. In some ways that's easier, I find this whole "hair changing colour" thing a bit suspect, frankly. I never did that, my sister never did that, it seems strange and showy.

I had just really got my hopes up that this son would look at least a bit related to me - I really don't see anything of me in DS1, except maybe a hint around the jawline. Well, and who knows what sort of nose he'll have in the long run.

NotQuiteCockney Sat 28-May-05 09:31:01

It could be worse, though, I know a local woman who's as pale as me (as in, very), with jet black hair, very classically "Irish" colouring. All her kids are white blond - she's got four of them, I think, and they're all whitest blond. Nobody ever thinks they're hers.

Pinotmum Sat 28-May-05 09:32:19

LOL It wouldn't matter if my 2 had green hair and scales they'd still look like ds to MIL. I was purely the incubator, they have none of my genes

Pinotmum Sat 28-May-05 09:32:53

oops DH I mean

NotQuiteCockney Sat 28-May-05 09:35:44

Oh, Pinotmum, I know what you mean. My mum is the same - she insists DS1 looks like my cousin Jimmy. Like, hmmm, let's see, DH put in 50% of his genetic material, but it's good old cousin Jimmy, who's got, what, 12.5% in there? Less than that? Yeah, he gets his looks from cousin Jimmy. Grrr.

tallulah Sat 28-May-05 09:48:08

DD was born with brown hair which changed to blonde. Once she reached her teens it went darker & is a sort of mouse-brown that goes lighter in the summer. DS1 was born with very dark brown hair. His went blond as well but now at 17 it is so dark as to look black. My brother was the same.

Yorkiegirl Sat 28-May-05 09:51:03

Message withdrawn

ghosty Sat 28-May-05 09:57:04

It is always a joke in our family how all my parents' grandchildren (all 10 of them) look like Auntie so and so or great grandma wotsit .... ALWAYS on my dad's side of the family NEVER my mum's and god forbid any child looks like the parent that isn't one of the ghosty clan ...
EVERY grandchild has been subjected to "He/She will be a redhead! Just like Grandad .... " and not one is a redhead ... except the only one they haven't met yet ... my DD! And they will no doubt miss the fact that DD gets her red hair from my DH!!!!!

NQC ... I know it is trivial but I know also where you are coming from ... neither of my two look anything like me ... I sometimes wonder if my husband slept with the milkman

bea Sat 28-May-05 10:33:21

i am chinese and dh is white (dunno what the pc way if saying it is!!!!) dd has incredibley fair skin, brown eyes and yet her hair is a very light brown bordering on reddish brown in the sun... her eyebrows can almost be described as red in the summer!!... therefore any hint of chineseness has to be thoroughly looked for... whereas ds is soooo chinese looking ... we often say that dd is a hite version of me and ds is a chinese version of dh... goodness knows what it looks like when we go out together... people must think i'm the exotic chinese nanny!!!!

suzywong Sat 28-May-05 10:37:07

bea that sounds exactly like my family ( dh is the chinese one I'm white)

ds1 looks defitely chinese, although brown hair, and ds2 is exactly how you describe your dd and with round eyes. In fact as dh was carrying ds2 today at the park he was getting some looks.( have to say I was a little concerned when he was born too,)

stitch Sat 28-May-05 10:50:10

maybe its just me, but nowadays i dont bat an eyelid when i see mix race babies, as so many of us have partners of different races, and dont feel any differences the way they did years ago.

suzywong Sat 28-May-05 10:57:51

yes you're right stitch, thankfully there is very very little eyelid batting, especially where I am now, it's can just be visually striking, the contrast between child and parent if seen out of context of the rest of the family.

Libb Sat 28-May-05 11:06:31

Talking of visually striking, my sister is blonde - her husband has black hair (his father is Spanish) - but their daughter is a very obvious and gorgeous redhead. Of course this has prompted lots of jokes about the milkman, which is rather unfortunate because he IS a redhead! The red hair comes from my brother in law's mother apparently . . . funny old genetics!

irishbird Sat 28-May-05 12:07:43

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Hausfrau Sat 28-May-05 12:22:46

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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