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Did any of you get married in a registery office???

64 replies

3peasinapod · 07/08/2009 23:31

Thinking of getting married, dont want fuss just somthing simple.
Just want to know what was you day like?

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whomovedmychocolate · 07/08/2009 23:35

I had a civil ceremony in a registry office then I had a civil ceremony in a hotel for my second marriage. Of the two the second was better. For the first the vows were very short, basic and it felt silly having all our friends and families there for basically three minutes of speaking. But then I guess the marriage service itself is quite short.

Mind you my experience may be coloured by the marriage itself!

If you do a registry office I think it's important to have more than just the vows and music is important too.

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AbricotsSecs · 07/08/2009 23:44

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whomovedmychocolate · 07/08/2009 23:45

It is cheap though - £40 for the ceremony. Whereas my second wedding cost £10K and that was a small wedding

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whomovedmychocolate · 07/08/2009 23:46

You can't do last minute so easily these days btw, you have to make an appt with the registrar in advance to plan it, show ID, jump through hoops, blah, blah, blah, blah (we took four weeks just getting a slot to book it in!!! ).

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Stretch · 07/08/2009 23:49

We did. It was lovely and cheap!! Also great for Dh as he was sooo nervous beforehand. He is very shy and awkward with things like that!

We had our own choice of song played, didn't have to see each other before the ceremony, and my 12 year old cousin did a reading. We were also lucky as our one had a lovely garden area that we had photos in! Although behind that was the staff canteen and we had people watching out the windows!!

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3peasinapod · 07/08/2009 23:49

Looking for simple, just family and no fuss. The register says it wont last any longer than 10 mins.

HoochieTheOneTrickPony & whomovedmychocolate
What did you do for afters?

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whomovedmychocolate · 07/08/2009 23:50

I was attacked by a squirrel after ours - while posing outside the civic offices - and my car got clamped. But hey ho....

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3peasinapod · 07/08/2009 23:52

We have to wait 3 months now! cost is 150! and legal part is endless. But we have waited 11 yrs whats another one i guess.

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TAFKAtheUrbanDryad · 07/08/2009 23:53

We did - it was very short and sweet, and we had photos on the steps outside. The registrar we saw for the first appointment was horrible though, and very suspicious of my Dutch ancestry. She seemed to think it was a marriage of convenience. Which it was, sort of, as I was 5 months pg! Classy bird, me!

We had a handfasting ceremony on a boat the day after, which was nice too, but in a way I wish we'd just had the registry office do. Weddings are a bit of a nightmare IME, not much fun for the actual participants. We spent most of our "special day" trying to keep my parents and the IL's apart!

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3peasinapod · 07/08/2009 23:53

whomovedmychocolate
LOL sorry but that sounds like what would happen me!

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3peasinapod · 07/08/2009 23:56

TAFKAtheUrbanDryad
Understand the no fun part, seen my sister at her wedding was enough to put me off.

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TAFKAtheUrbanDryad · 08/08/2009 00:03

If I had the chance to do it again, I would just feck off to Gretna Green with 3 or 4 close friends and sod the whole family.

One of the main problems with registry offices IMO is that you're often v limited on numbers, which is a bit shite when your MIL to be is going, "Oh but you must invite so-and-so," and when if you've invited this person you then have to invite that person - or the other way round, and you can't invite Auntie Mabel because she had a row with Cousin Stephen over some stolen jewellery 15 years ago. Or it's your mates and you can't invite one person because they used to shag your brother. Or whatever.

Can you tell this is a bit of a sore subject for me?

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whomovedmychocolate · 08/08/2009 08:09

Afterwards - afterwards I arranged for 45 of my closest friends to have a country walk and a picnic on top of the hill (yes that was a hell of a lot of sandwiches to make beforehand). Then afterwards we hired a village hall and had a celigh.

Was totally not me but so was the marriage

TAFKA - my brother did feck off to Gretna Green - I think after he'd seen me and my brother's terrible weddings he prefered to did it in private

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Hassled · 08/08/2009 08:17

We used a registry office - our local one is a lovely old Georgian building, so a really nice room, and registrar was great. We had about 25 guests, and then all walked to a Tapas Bar where we had a room to ourselves for a meal. There was a break of a few hours and then a big party for everyone else in the evening.

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Bleatblurt · 08/08/2009 08:22

I got married in a registery office. It was a lovely old building and the room was very grand looking. It was big enough that there was an aisle between the two areas of seats so my dad still got to do the 'walking down the aisle' thing.

The registrar was a really lovely lady and clearly loved her job.

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ILikeToMoveItMoveIt · 08/08/2009 08:25

We got married in a reg office. We had parents, siblings and niece and nephews at the ceremony, then invited friends to a bbq in MIL's huge garden afterwards.

It was just right. For us it was about being married, not the wedding iyswim.

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TAFKAtheUrbanDryad · 08/08/2009 08:29

For those of you who had quiet/simple weddings, were your families ok with it? I would've loved to have just 20 or so people for a meal after simple registry office ceremony but MIL would not have countenanced it.

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ILikeToMoveItMoveIt · 08/08/2009 08:32

Everyone was fine with our choice, probably because:

1, We paid for it
2, Both of our parents had small weddings themselves and can't understand why people spend a lot on them.

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Bleatblurt · 08/08/2009 08:35

I didn't invite my in-laws

I just had my parents (who I didn't originally invite, only at the last minute) and 2 of DH's friends as witnesses. No-one minded that we went for a quiet wedding or if they did they didn't say anything to us. But I genuinely don't think anyone was upset or offended. It was so small that they all knew that NO-ONE was coming and that it wasn't like anyone had been left out while others invited.

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HecatesTwopenceworth · 08/08/2009 08:39

My day was lovely!

Got married in a registry office, walked over to a pub/restarant where we all had a meal. Went home, got ready for evening which was in a pub owned by some friends and they let us have their back room for free. I got the local college to cater (their catering students ALWAYS love opportunities to practise!)

Whole thing (including outfits) cost a few hundred pounds.

My family were happy because I was happy. I just wanted to be married, rather than have a Wedding, iyswim.

I know that to a lot of people The Day is important, but it wasn't to me or dh so why waste all that money? We were looking beyond the wedding day, to the marriage.

Actually, I was bloody glad when it was over! (the day not the marriage ).

We drove to reg office together, then he went to park the car. Those moments before he came back were awful! I convinced myself he had legged it I was so nervous during the thing itself that I was shaking. The relief when it was all done was unbelievable!

I think one of the problems with a princess wedding (you know the type!) is that that's all you focus on, rather than what being married means. And after it's over there's often a sense of anti-climax. Nothing about marriage is quite as good as the day you were the centre of the universe, with your amazing dress and everyone fawning over you. You spent a year planning, spent how many thousand pounds, dedicated yourself to it and then it's gone and you realise you are now married and - bump - back down to earth.

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purepurple · 08/08/2009 08:45

I got married in watton registry office 22 years ago.
It was a lovely simple ceremony.
There was room for close family, the best man and amy bridesmaid.
We paid for the wedding ourselves.
My Dad paid for the free bar afterwards for all the family and friends.
We didn't have a honeymoon, we went straight into our new married quarter (DH was in the RAF)
I didn't wear white, but wore a cerise bridesmaid dress.
The day was a lot of fun.
And we are still together

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Celery · 08/08/2009 09:09

Just us, two friends as witnesses, another friend to take some photo's. Wanted to be married, but not have a wedding day. Placated family by having a meal out with them afterwards. I think the family minded a bit, but were polite and sensible enough not to mention it. Lovely day, exactly what we wanted, no regrets.

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cocolepew · 08/08/2009 09:12

We still hd 60 people at mine, went to a hotel afterwards. My main reason was I'm a atheist.

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whomovedmychocolate · 08/08/2009 14:51

I've just returned from the wedding of a mumsnetter. Me and DH were the witnesses - no-one else there. It was really lovely.

And it's your day, not your MiLs, parents or anyone elses. Reclaim it. They can bitch and whine but at the end of the day hold your ground and have the day you want. That's all that matters really. I wouldn't want my kids to be slaves to me rewriting history at their weddings, I've had my go (twice).

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makedoandmend · 08/08/2009 15:20

We did - it was lovely. We decided to meet up before (planned to do it in a nice room but bumped into each other on the stairs instead because dh got the timing wrong ).

Then both of us plus pil, best man and woman and my sister walked down to the reg office, where we were met by everyone else (about 15 people all in all). We waved, they waved, then they went in, we went off for a chat with the registrar before entering the room. Said vows, got married and laughed a lot. It was a lovely, informal intimate atmosphere.

Photos outside then we all walked in a big crocodile up to the venue (which me and a few friends had decorated earlier) and we had a meal then music including a band made up from members of every band my dh had been in plus a few friends who had always wanted to sing with a live band.

Everyone said it was one of the nicest weddings they'd been to because it was small and relaxed. There was no distance between bride and groom and the guests and the registry office contributed to that imo.

Do what you want to do. I've heard so many tales of people doing what their family wanted rather than what they wanted and they all regret it.