Talk

Advanced search

Why is it acceptable to treat women this way? Will it ever change?

(5 Posts)
hellomama Tue 24-May-05 17:39:16

Every day when you pick up a newspaper, or listen to the radio or watch the TV, a woman has been violently attacked, sexually assualted or killed. When I ask female patients if they have ever been abused in a relationship or as a child, a large majoirty say yes, in one form or another. Some women are even quite casual about it, because perhaps they were drunk when it happened, etc, they're akmost resigned to it being acceptable, feeling as though it was their fault.

When I teach SRE in high schools, we ask the girls what they want from a boy they fancy... we always get a long list: commitment, love, protection, but most of all, a relationship. They rarely ever mention sex. When we ask the same girls what a boy wants from a girl he fancies, the answer is always the same: sex. Then they all laugh. This again, is seen as 'the norm', and acceptable. All of the girls mention being 'touched up' at a party or whilst shopping in town by young men their own age. And they don't really see a problem with this. If a girl has sex, she has to deal with most of the sensible stuff in the relationship, the contraception, the emergency contraception, the abortion, the baby. Most young men don't have anything to do with any of it. The recent news thread about the 3 sisters all having babies, underage and alone is an extreme example of this. Don't even get me started on getting the men in for treatment of STI's which they have caught from / given their girlfriends....

I know there will always be fabulous men out there (my DH and DS being two of them!) but this is what I see day in, day out. See BBC News , The Mirror , just as a few examples.

How can we change these attitudes?? What is going wrong in our society? Do i just have a very warped view because of the nature of my local community and the people I meet through work? Does anyone else despair like i do? Discuss!

mummycan Tue 24-May-05 17:52:22

I hope it will - as the mother of a5 year old gil I do worry about the world she is growing up in - one of the reasons (certainly not the only one) I believe that girls think it is the norm to be felt up etc is the fact that porn is mainstream - actions that once would have happened behind closed doors are out there for everybody to see. "Celebrity" culture doesn't help either - various celebrities get their pictures in the papaer by flashing their bits - "respectable" girls do the cover of Nuts, Zoo, loaded etc. If everyone else appeas to be doing it then no wonder young girls think they just have to put up with it.

Sorry - ranting a bit.

Gobbledigook Tue 24-May-05 17:54:17

Replied on your other thread HM!

Gobbledigook Tue 24-May-05 17:54:50

I don't know the answer Hellomama but funnily enough, my brother has just been telling me about a 'job' he dealt with last week where a girl popped out of a bar onto the street to try and find her friend and was attacked by a drunk lad who basically sexually assaulted her ('fingered' her).

Like you know, she's nobody, just a piece of meat to be mauled. Like you can just do that and walk away and she'll just shrug it off, no impact on her life. Makes me sick.

Chandra Tue 24-May-05 18:01:21

I really don't know, I wonder sometimes about the role we play as mothers to shape both behaviours either the one of the boy who won't accept a no for an answer or the girl who thinks it's OK and "normal" to attract not so positive attention. I think that one of the major issues is where to draw the line between good fun and ofensive attention, and how to teach either the boy or the girl to respect themselves and keep within those boundaries.

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now