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Does anyone else think this is ponce-tastic or am I just an out of touch northern bumpkin?

(31 Posts)
MadreInglese Mon 03-Aug-09 15:24:17

Went to a birthday party at the weekend, it was a great do but nothing posh, just a sports club bar with a little dancefloor, cheesy DJ and cheesy buffet smile

As we arrived (a bit early to help set up - carrying a large box of decorations) a childhood family friend introduced me to her housemate who stood for ages smiling at me until I realised she was holding out her hand (my view was slightly obstructed by the mahoosive box I was holding). No-where to put the box so I kind of did a funny wiggle with one arm and managed to shake her hand while trying not to drop the box. She then shook my mum's hand and then DD's (who is 11) hmm

Wasn't expecting a hug and a kiss-kiss from a stranger but isn't hand shaking a bit poncey unless you're a blokey bloke or in a business situ?

FabBakerGirlIsBack Mon 03-Aug-09 15:26:18

It's fine.


GetOrfMoiLand Mon 03-Aug-09 15:26:48

No, I shake hands with people when I first meet them. Don't think I am a ponce (well, not much anyway grin)

MadreInglese Mon 03-Aug-09 15:27:53

Children too?

Greensleeves Mon 03-Aug-09 15:28:38

I am always relieved by hand-shaking

you never know who is going to take it into their heads to launch themselves at you and start kissing

I LOATHE hello/goodbye kisses with a passion, in fact I DREAD the moment for a good while before it happens

thank god for hand-shakes

Spidermama Mon 03-Aug-09 15:29:03

I think she failed to adapt to the situation (ie you holding a box) and should really have been felixble enough to do a more appropriate greeting under the circumstances.

Not poncy but certainly incompetent.

Unconventional Mon 03-Aug-09 15:29:39

Not poncey, you northern bumpkin. It's called manners. wink

Greensleeves Mon 03-Aug-09 15:30:07

oh yes true, a bit dense to try and shake your hand while you were holding the box

I would have waved and grinned at you instead

MANATEEequineOHARA Mon 03-Aug-09 15:35:03

I hate the whole hugging strangers thing too. Close friends and family is mostly ok, sometimes even needed, but I don;t know why it has to be the case to say bye to someone with a hug!. I am actually very worried about this regarding a horrid situation I am soon to be in, where hugs may be expected (my dc's dads funeral ). I would much rather shake hands too, BUT it does seem a bit strange when people do it at casual events like a kids party!

MadreInglese Mon 03-Aug-09 15:35:16

<dons flat cap and chews long grass>

yes agree false greeting kisses from randoms are uber poncey

BecauseImWorthIt Mon 03-Aug-09 15:37:09

I would think it entirely reasonable to shake hands with someone I hadn't met before. It's a courtesy. But I would think it a bit odd to shake a child's hand as well!

Greensleeves Mon 03-Aug-09 15:37:18

hijack -Manatee, I'm so sorry to hear that sad

how awful for you

if you need a babysitter or anything give me a shout

MANATEEequineOHARA Mon 03-Aug-09 15:38:50

Greensleeves- in a wierd limbo...thread about it in relationships to avoid further hijack

LynetteScavo Mon 03-Aug-09 15:39:52

Shaking hands is far better than hugging like they do in Calafornia. Hugging people youv'e never met before is just weird.

I'm trying to teach my children to shake hand when they meet someone new. They're not very obliging, though.

Trying to shake hands with someone who is holding a box is just stupid.

MadreInglese Mon 03-Aug-09 15:42:32

it was an adult party but a family do with kids, I guess it was just the formal-ness of it at a casual do that seemed a bit odd to me (and that I had no hands free to shake!)

MadreInglese Mon 03-Aug-09 15:44:25

sorry manatee sad

don't feel you need to hug anyone you don't want to

LynetteScavo Mon 03-Aug-09 15:44:50

Someone shook hands at with me at a mother and toddelr group, once. It did seem slightly formal.

MANATEEequineOHARA Mon 03-Aug-09 15:51:24

I do worry with handshakes though that I might do something wrong. However if someone tries shaking someones hand when they are holding a box it would not be surprising if it went wrong, because it is just silly...surely!?

BitOfFun Mon 03-Aug-09 15:54:13

I wince to remember that I shook DP's hand the night we first met...still, it got less formal as the evening wore on <snurk>

LynetteScavo Mon 03-Aug-09 15:55:17

I didn't shake DH's hand untill after we married, and discovered he has a mighty fine hand shake.

Overmydeadbody Mon 03-Aug-09 16:00:54

Not poncey

Greensleeves Mon 03-Aug-09 16:02:16

dh has a handshake like a dead fish

he makes up for it in other ways though grin

LynetteScavo Mon 03-Aug-09 16:11:50

Ohhh..I can't be doing with limp hand shakes!

And people who don't let go...what is that about?

GreenMonkies Mon 03-Aug-09 16:14:58

I can't see a problem with her shaking your hand as such, but to try to shake your hand when you are carrying a big box that require both your hands/arms is just plain daft!

ScummyMummy Mon 03-Aug-09 16:18:50

I don't think it's ponce-tastic so much as slightly over-formal. And difficult to achieve whilst your target is carrying a box!

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