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Job description for a Mum!

(16 Posts)
RushingAround Mon 12-May-03 09:33:45

Just received this on email and thought I'd pass it on ...

A woman named Emily renewing her driver's licence at the County Clerk's office was asked by the woman recorder to state her occupation. She hesitated, uncertain how to classify herself. "What I mean is," explained the recorder, "do you have a job, or are you just a
......?"

"Of course I have a job," snapped Emily. "I'm a Mom."

"We don't list 'Mom' as an occupation ... 'housewife' covers it," said the
recorder emphatically.

I forgot all about her story until one day I found myself in the same situation, this time at our own Town Hall. The Clerk was obviously a
career woman, poised, efficient, and possessed of a high sounding title like, 'Official Interrogator' or 'Town Registrar'.

"What is your occupation?" she probed.

What made me say it, I do not know... The words simply popped out. "I'm a Research Associate in the field of Child Development and Human
Relations."

The clerk paused, ball-point pen frozen in midair, and looked up as though she had not heard right. I repeated the title slowly, emphasising the most significant words. Then I stared with wonder as my pronouncement was written in bold, black ink on the official questionnaire.

"Might I ask," said the clerk with new interest, "just what you do in your field?"

Coolly, without any trace of fluster in my voice,

I heard myself reply, "I have a continuing program of research, (what mother doesn't), in the laboratory and in the field, (normally I would have said indoors and out).

I'm working for my Masters, (the whole darned family), and already have four credits, (all daughters). Of course, the job is one of the
most demanding in the humanities, (any mother care to disagree.?.) and I often work 14 hours a day, (24 is more like it). But the job is more challenging than most run-of-the-mill careers and the rewards are more of a satisfaction rather than just money."

There was an increasing note of respect in the clerk's voice as she completed the form, stood up, and personally ushered me to the door.

As I drove into our driveway, buoyed up by my glamorous new career, I was greeted by my lab assistants - ages 13, 7, and 3. Upstairs I could
hear our new experimental model, (a 6-month old baby), in the child-development programme, testing out a new vocal pattern. I felt I had scored a beat on bureaucracy! And I had gone on the official records as someone more distinguished and indispensable to mankind
than 'just another Mom'.

Motherhood.....What a glorious career! Especially when there's a title on the door.

Does this make grandmothers 'Senior Research Associates in the field of Child Development and Human Relations' and great grandmothers 'Executive Senior Research Associates'? I think so!!! I also think it
makes Aunts 'Associate Research Assistants'.

Please send this to another Mom, Grandmother, Aunt, and other friends you know. May your troubles be less, your blessings more, and nothing but happiness come through your door! (an old Irish Blessing).

ThomCat Mon 12-May-03 10:00:43

What a great post, wonderful! Am sending it on to my Mum and DD's Godmothers etc right now.

Clarinet60 Mon 12-May-03 18:59:35

Is is a great post.
What do other mumsnetters think DH's job title should be (regarding family)?

katierocket Mon 12-May-03 19:10:02

DP job description:
Must be able to wind child into wild frenzy prior to bedtime.
Must be able to spot the onset of a difficult tantrum and disappear at exact moment tantrum hits.
Must be able to be completely blind to state of childs clothes, allowing child to wear trousers and t-shirts covered in custard, beans, paint, soil without giving it a second thought.

Clarinet60 Mon 12-May-03 19:43:42

Brilliant, katierocket!

Mine would be:

Must be able to wait indefinitely at dining table for food to turn up. Related qualities - must have cast iron stomach and constiution of a soldier as must on no account ever give in and go and cook sodding meal himself once in a while.

griffy Tue 13-May-03 13:11:38

katierocket - That's so true. I'd also add:

must be incapable of noticing or disciplining childrens' misbehaviour of any description - other than when tired, when 'smacking to stop them walking all over you' is dispensed at the slightest transgression.

doormat Tue 13-May-03 14:57:37

for a mother

chief cook, cleaner and bottlewasher.
wiper and cleaner of all known bodily fluids including s**t
bedmaker, ironer, washerwoman
household budgetter,bookkeeper, bill payer and shopper
electrician, decorator and general handyman
teasmade, waitress and general dogsbody
personal dresser,drawers and wardrobe assistant
advisor, debater and referee
hygienist, sex educator, appointment maker
taxi driver,in lots of cases breadwinner
money lender (applicable to older children)
gardener, bin emptier and sunbather!!!!!!

all this and more for no pay only satisfaction.

I will think of one for fathers and dh (such an apt saying) in a bit.

doormat Tue 13-May-03 15:13:38

for a husband

as mentioned by others so here goes

expert remote control specialist
beer can emptier,local pub representative
tv guide, football pundit inc other sporting events
hardworking in job(very rare quality in home)
politician,knower of EVERYTHING, bulls**t artist
lawnmower, entitler of lie-in.
electrician, decorator and general handyman(for those jobs he has finally got to do that you have asked him to do for years)
expert escape artist when there is strife
MOTHERS BOY
teller of tall tales, wind up merchant

last but not least
USELESS

Rhubarb Tue 13-May-03 15:15:18

Don't forget for a mum: must be able to take criticism from all, even complete strangers. And must be prepared to feel like a failure no matter what she does.

doormat Tue 13-May-03 15:17:14

Rhubarb forgot to add eater in supermarket(me anyway)

EmmaTMG Tue 13-May-03 15:18:46

Yes Doormat, you lie-in entitler bit is soooooo true. Why do they feel they are so deserving of this luxury? I make sure DH is up and suitable dressed before I even put one step on the stairs otherwise he'd stay there all day. Cheeky B*****d

grommit Tue 13-May-03 15:36:23

for DH - when taking care of dd must be able to take out every toy dd owns and scatter randomly over the floor

griffy Tue 13-May-03 16:18:36

Oh - and Grommit - if preparing/feeding offspring, DP MUST create the sort of kitchen mess usually associated with cordon bleu for 20.

griffy Tue 13-May-03 16:19:09

Oh - and Grommit - if preparing/feeding offspring, DP MUST create the sort of kitchen mess usually associated with cordon bleu for 20.

griffy Tue 13-May-03 16:19:26

Sorry - never managed that before...

ZsaZsa Fri 30-May-03 20:50:31

rhubarb
you iz dishin' out a lot of criticism youself wot iz a shame

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