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I didnt know what to do when i saw a toddler being ill treated..advice please

(12 Posts)
raggitty555 Fri 31-Jul-09 22:51:25

I was in a local pound shop and a mum was with her friend and a little girl aged about 2 and a half.The adults were talking and the little girl got a colouring- in book from shelf ,lay on floor as toddler s do ,and was happily absorbed.Then mother told her to "F*ing come here " and the little girl started to cry.The mother then picked her up roughly,shoved her hard in buggy and told her thay they had no F*ing time to let her look at anything and then proceeded to look at things herself.The booklets were left on floor which i picked up so no one wd slip on them and as i was doing so the mother was jabbing at the littl e girl with her index finger-the girl then stopped crying and went quiet even though it must have hurt.Im not saying that i never loose it with my ds and dd! but i was rooted to the spot at this situation - i thought about saying something - as i have done in past to racisit comments- an d suffered the conseuences! -but i knew saying something in the time i had avaliable wouldnt change anything.I have seen the mother out since but have no idea were she lives- I am woried about the little girl.In a similar circumstance does anyone have suggestion on how to handle or help this situation as i felt it was a child protection issue - i hate bystander apathy and feel we are all responsible, but it wasnt apathy that stopped any action- initialy it was shock followed by simply not knowing what to do and now i feel guilty as if i colluded with it by not intervening...

MollieO Fri 31-Jul-09 22:54:56

Do you know anyone who may know who she is? For example does she go to a toddlers group or have older children at school?

I wonder if you had said something whether it may have made it worse for the little girl when she got home. Not really sure what I'd have done but like you I'd want to do something. Hopefully someone will be along who has good advice.

raggitty555 Sun 02-Aug-09 16:29:22

anyone ?

babaaa Wed 05-Aug-09 13:44:33

anyone ..................?

SellingUp Wed 05-Aug-09 14:18:33

if you see the mother out again i would follow her home so at least then you know where she lives. call the social services for advice, you do not have to give your name or make it official. good luck, i hope the mother was just having a really off day & is very ashamed of her behaviour. i feel so sad about this.

SellingUp Wed 05-Aug-09 14:23:50

what did the friend do when she saw the mother shove her daughter roughly into the pram swearing at her? when you have seen the mother since has she had her daughter with her? how was she acting towards her then? i am so disturbed by this.

babaaa Wed 05-Aug-09 21:37:42

The friend just carried on talking as if it was part of the course of normal day .. yes she had dauhter with her i was driving by local estate were i see them go time to time.Im so sorry you disturbed by it - but im not suprised ,i was too - i felt like taking her home !!!I just hope it was a bad day ..thanks so much for response - i will try to find out were she lives.......away on hols from sat so aplos if you or others post and there is no reply.

SellingUp Wed 05-Aug-09 22:57:24

Now I am a Mum I get very upset about anything related to children & I think about them whilst I am getting ready for bed. I just can not bear it that innocent children are ill treated in all sorts of ways. I hope you see them out & about lots & the mother is ebing loving to her child & then we can assume it was an off day to the worst extreme. Have a lovely holiday

Overmydeadbody Wed 05-Aug-09 23:04:38

I have a similar situation with a neighbor and her little boy.

It is really sad and I don't know what to do.

Tough situation I tihnk. I have never seem her physically hurt him but the things she says to this two year old are shocking.

MitchyInge Wed 05-Aug-09 23:15:10

how horrible, I know exactly what you mean about collusion through not intervening

I wish I was the sort of person who would just boldly confront that sort of behaviour, have a friend who has no qualms where adults are being physically abusive - someone at our gym was shouting at their child, dragging them out of the pool and slamming them on the side and making them swim a length again and again. It was so brutal. My friend spoke to the parent and told them their actions constituted abuse and reported it to the gym management. I just cry, am absolutely rubbish. I want to grow into an assertive person who can handle situations like that.

SellingUp Wed 05-Aug-09 23:16:52

Overmydeadbody - why don't you ring social services for advice? you can remain anonomous & do not have to give the woman's name or address. get professional advice hun.

babaaa Wed 05-Aug-09 23:38:03

Overmy dead body you could ring social services and also/or nspcc? I wd do this if knew were mother lived.
Thank s all for support.x

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