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What do you think about "not doing anything" when children are at school/nursery?

(662 Posts)
morningpaper Thu 19-May-05 12:04:57

My daughter's peers are starting nurseries ... and I'm finding myself really SHOCKED at the fact that my mummy-friends aren't doing anything with their time while their children are out of the home. I asked a friend last week what she did and she said "Oh I just get home, tidy up a bit, have a coffee - and then I have to pick him up again!"

As I work from home there is ALWAYS some work I can do. I also do voluntary work and could always do with more time to get stuff done.

I also don't understand why their partners are happy with them just taking 'mornings off' to themselves - aren't they a bit miffed?

I'm probably just jealous but I can't help but think that they are just plain lazy! What do other people feel about this?!

starlover Thu 19-May-05 12:05:52

have to say... i'd do the same!
chance for a nice sit down and a cup of tea without any bother from ds! Lovely!

Fio2 Thu 19-May-05 12:06:02

you miserable old bag

snafu Thu 19-May-05 12:06:08

MP, do you think this might be a 'hard-hat' thread?

Kelly1978 Thu 19-May-05 12:07:30

I also have work to do, but if I could get a chance to sit down for an hour I would. DP gets an hours lunch break a day, I don't stop all day.

Flum Thu 19-May-05 12:08:04

Don't think there is anything wrong with it. You get precious few minutes to yourself at home with babies and toddlers probably first real break they have had for years. Expect their partners think they deserve it. Its not a 9-5 job is it motherhood you are on call 24-7.

I love doing nothing. I have a low 'need' for achievement. It is a very satisfying state.

Gobbledigook Thu 19-May-05 12:08:52

Blimey, I'd give my right arm for a morning 'off' to 'tidy up a bit' and have a coffee!!!

Good if you can get it!

Mind you, I'm saying that because i NEVER have time to do this (work from home as well MP) but I think if it was like that everyday I'd go a bit mental.

Sonnet Thu 19-May-05 12:08:59

Can see where you are coming from.
I do a car share school run with a lady with 2 school age children. On the three days I take her kids she is back home by 8.15am!! - no job, voluntary work, no daytime social life, cleaner, ironer - what does she do all day??, isn't she board? - would love to ask but seems cheeky!!

Think this thread may kick off!

SoupDragon Thu 19-May-05 12:09:20

DS1 is in school full time and DS2 at nursery for 2.5 hours each day. Taking off 30 minutes for messing about dropping off/picking up, what do you suggest I do? There is pretty much only time to go home, tidy up a bit etc etc. If I rush there's enough time to fit in Waitrose or Tescos

"plain lazy" indeed!! And why the hell should my DH be miffed that I take the "morning off" to myself? I have to "work late" looking after the children when he's out drinking and I have to "work at the weekends" whilst he's playing golf.


katierocket Thu 19-May-05 12:09:33

in answer to your question; I think "lucky bloody them". I was talkign to a friend on mine the other day who gave up work when she had her first, she now has another one and I asked her if she thought she'd go back to work ever and she said "no,never". Her husband earns quite a bit so she said she was going to "go shopping, have lunch and go to the gym"! but I do think you'd become a bit dull.
At the risk of sounding all worthy I think if i had the option (financially) to do that I'd do voluntary work or go back to uni or college to learn something interesting but useless!

Gobbledigook Thu 19-May-05 12:10:04

Go Soupy!!

debs26 Thu 19-May-05 12:10:05

before ds3 was born i used the time to get the house in order - sounds like what your mummy friend said. i didnt feel guilty one bit, meant i could spend more time with kids when they got home as house work was done. think i am your opposite mp, dont understand people who pile on as much work as they can. if life can be easy why make it hard unnecessarily?

katierocket Thu 19-May-05 12:11:08

ha, I'm probably going to get flamed for the "dull" comment but I just don't see how you could spend a whole life; even when all the kids are at school(and that's what this particular woman was talking about) doing nothing.

snafu Thu 19-May-05 12:11:14

Crikey Soups, don't think I've ever seen you so cross

SoupDragon Thu 19-May-05 12:11:16

Didn't realise how cross the "plain lazy" comment made me

Grrrr <<SD bears fangs and puffs a ball of fire>>

katierocket Thu 19-May-05 12:11:30

debs - Money!!

flashingnose Thu 19-May-05 12:12:33

Who do you think listens to your kids read in school?

Gobbledigook Thu 19-May-05 12:13:04

One of ds's nursery friends is an only child - they are at nursery 5 mornings 9-1pm and she doesn't work. Looking at her I think she shops, has hair appts and gets her nails done - perhaps meeting friends for coffee and cake! She always looks immaculate when she turns up whereas I turn up after a frantic few hours trying to get ds3 to sleep so I can work to perhaps avoid staying up till 1am to do it (like I did the other night ).

I'm bloody exhausted actually (got too much work on) and right now I'd kill for lifestyle (though I know I couldn't maintain it).

Suuzywong Thu 19-May-05 12:13:11

Has this thing kicked off yet?

Sonnet Thu 19-May-05 12:13:49

agree KR with your post of 12.11 - that is what I think about the lady I share the school run with...

Gobbledigook Thu 19-May-05 12:14:17

Flashingnose - now that's waht I want to do when all mine are in school! I'm hoping I can fit my freelance work, reading in school, gym and housework into the school day - what do you reckon?!

lima Thu 19-May-05 12:14:30

Well I must be another one who is 'plain lazy' and 'dull' because I make sure I have plenty of time to myself

Fio2 Thu 19-May-05 12:14:40

I go back to bed and then maybe have a glass of wine with my lunch, ohhhh the joys of being a poor sahm

debs26 Thu 19-May-05 12:14:44

katie - money = necessary. im not slaggin people off who work, am just saying that if i was pushed for time i wouldnt take on a load more if i didnt have to. im very lucky that dp earns enough for us both and i really really appreciate it. sounds like mp friend is in my position (except without baby) and i think she is totally right to have a bit of time off. lucky her!

elliott Thu 19-May-05 12:15:13

an interesting subject mp, and I do ponder it from time to time. My two best friends now have school age children and both still work pt (demanding jobs which they couldn't rearrange to work school hours) so both now have a couple of days free in the week - one does a couple of music/dancing classes. I know when my time comes I will feel uncomfortable having a lot of time off 'doing nothing' in the day - plus would hate to feel obliged to fill the time doing housework! - so will probably increase my hours, and where possible rearrange them to fit school time. I don't really understand why I feel uncomfortable about it though - I guess it does feel lazy, especially since dh would be out at work. My problem though to have too much of a calvinistic ethic! I mean, why shouldn't we have time to ourselves really?

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