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Please advise, badly need some help, my dp and i are being harrassed, and threatened...

(3 Posts)
QueenofVenus Mon 06-Jul-09 10:57:33

Dp's ex and her partner (who is a known criminal and was only released on bail a few months ago for taking a knife to his ex-wife) have it in for us, it was just dp, she left him, had an affair and confessed she didnt love him any more, initially saying she wanted to remain friends and that he could see there son anytime he wants, 2 weeks later, she kicked him out, filed for divorce and sent him a letter via her solicitor saying he's not going to see his son unless he's takes her to court, he has absolutley no idea what changed her mind/attitude, the thug she had an affair with (the psycho chimp she's still with) moved in as dp was kicked out. So dp did what she certainly didnt expect and he borrowed money as much as he could and he took her to court for custody and won joint! This drove her NUTS, he then met me and my kids, and we eventually moved in together, this has made things worse, she sends messages home with their son accusing and being rude, she texts dp telling and uses all kids of bad language, and her mother has approached me on occasions giving lots of verbal abuse at school when picking my 6 year old up, i have told her not too, this makes things worse, and now dp and i are expecting a baby together, we only found out a few wooks ago, and wanted to just tell a few friends, well unfortunatley for us its got too her, which we expected it would eventually but it seems to have sent her well and truly over the edge, she has approached my ex and told him that im living with a rapist and im having his baby, he is furious, wants to know if our kids are safe etc, the nightmare just goes on and on, ive been to the poilce and they need proof to be able to do anything, what the hell are we supposed to do? the police can do little/nothing, and im worried this psycho woman and her loony boyfriend are going to do something serious, dp and i have 4 small children between us, and one now on the way, im afraid for them, for us all, there must be something we can do?

HecatesTwopenceworth Wed 08-Jul-09 08:02:33

I would say sit down with her and discuss it, but if she was the reasonable type, who you could have such kind of chat with - well, you wouldn't be in this position in the first place! trying to reason with such people tends to just get you a smack in the gob!

Keep a log of all incidents.
Report them to the police every single time. Even if they are telling you they can do nothing without 'proof', it is to your advantage to log everything, in case (sorry) things escalate. You will be able to show some history.
Take legal advice.
Go for full custody.

Seems like it's a case of "I don't want him, nobody else can have him".

He was probably supposed to fall apart without her, beg and plead, be a wreck and chuck himself off a bridge. He wasn't supposed to move on with his life and be happy.

She possibly regrets her choice and sometimes when that happens, they can turn it around and blame the other person instead of taking responsibility for their own actions.

idranktheteaatwork Thu 09-Jul-09 10:10:33

Your solicitor can write to her telling her to cease harassing you or you will take further action including making a formal complaint to the police.
Your solicitoe can further state that any contact from now on between your dp and her must only be about the child.

You can change your phone number, have caller display and field her calls to answer machine, ignore her mother etc etc.

She sounds like a loon, you need to ignore her, the more you react the more she will play up.
Play it down to your ex as well, you don't want him thinking that you live in constant danger of attack, it will just make him cross and worried and add to your stress.

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