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Im Gutted

(21 Posts)
Evesmama Sat 14-May-05 19:54:10

been brought back down to earth with huge bump

no way can we get the money for the house, we could possibly still get a house in the area, but not what we want so we'd have to move again in a few years

we could rent and bring dd up in a nice area and buy when we're in a better position..but wed be wasting about £10k and it wouldnt be our home

so im stuck in this s**t hole

plus...no point in me starting up the business now as id have to work flat out to cover my I.B and even then would only earn a pathetic wage, very

Gobbledigook Sat 14-May-05 19:56:34

So sorry to hear this Evesmama - especially after you were on such a high before. Would it not still be better to get something and then move again?

Aimsmum Sat 14-May-05 19:59:09

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Evesmama Sat 14-May-05 20:17:39

yeah i was cos i felt like i would be doing something to help us, but wouldnt put us in any better situation and wed still be stuck here with me still feeling like this only working too.

i know people prob think i sound like a lazy cow, but im not...justfeel so stuck

Aimsmum Sat 14-May-05 20:25:49

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Evesmama Sat 14-May-05 20:31:42

we have both considered renting seriously and no doubt will discuss it more, but we would really have nothing spare if we did..not a button..maybe even couldnt affors what we wanted anyway...so although dd would be in nicer area, we'd have no money to do anything with/for her!

its a catch 22 situation

now gunna have to put her in school round here and then move her when we can afford to move
really dont want to do that!

starlover Sat 14-May-05 20:36:30

evesmama... i don't like seeing all those in ONE post! poor you
Myself and DP, although not really in the same boat as you, are having to lower our expectations somewhat on the house front.
WE have decided to get a smaller, cheaper house in our preferred area. at least then we're on the property ladder, and can hopefully get something better in a few years.
I totally think this is the way to go....

I don't know anything about your ironing business or anything as haven't read the threads... but I thought they had introduced a lot more benefits for working mums recently?

expatinscotland Sat 14-May-05 20:39:01

Eve
How about looking into bursaries for some independent schools? Perhaps this could allow you to buy in the area where you can afford, but not have to worry about the schools in that area.

Are there some schools that specialise in something? For example, here in the city where we live, there's one school in a good area that specialises in music instruction, so kids that go there can be outside the catchment area. There's another one that teaches in Scots Gaelic, so the children automatically go to one of the top secondary schools.

Or what about home schooling? This could be another option until you can afford to move to an area where the schools are better.

I feel your pain. We rent in a nice area b/c we can't afford anything at all in town just now. It'll be another 10 years or so before we can afford to purchase in a decent area.

Good luck!

Aimsmum Sat 14-May-05 20:39:22

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cupcakes Sat 14-May-05 20:44:39

like starlover, sorry to see all the 's.
Having read your options I would plump for the possibility of getting a house in the area and then moving again in a few years. Unfortunately, I think this is the only option for a lot of people. It is very few who get to bring their children up in the 'family home' of their dreams. Most can't get to this level till their children are old enough to leave. My dh is self employed and unless I go back to work when the children are both at school there is never realistically going to be a rise in our income - the only way we could ever move to our dream house is by slowly crawling up the property ladder. Obviously it isn't ideal, but possibly better than renting if you see that as a waste of money.
Wish I could be more constructive.

Evesmama Sat 14-May-05 20:46:55

thanks starlover...thats similar to what we did, we moved back to were our first home was, only its changed and the 200 yds difference makes a world of difference, plus ive got dd to think about now and the area is rough and i (not meaning to sound a snob..im not...i cant afford to be )i dont want her mixing with most of the kids around here, plus we really want to be in detactched(yes i know im aiming too high), cos the walls are so thin in new houses like this and im when i have tokeep asking dd not to run around singing at 6am in the morning!plus next door are not so considerate

thanks expatinscotland - what is a bursery?
shes rather quiet already so i do want her to go to school to mix and gain confidense, but dont want her messed around
aimsmum - place we want to go to has such wonderful schools that they are never spaces for outsiders

Evesmama Sat 14-May-05 20:48:41

thanks cupcakes..im just a big kid really i got too carried away and didnt consider the important stuff like actually being able to afford it..just wanted too view houses and big old stupid me fell in love with one!

expatinscotland Sat 14-May-05 20:48:43

Eve
It's a grant to help those with financial need with the school fees. Many independent schools are charities, and can and do offer bursaries to those with financial need.

cupcakes Sat 14-May-05 20:52:39

evesmama, I've done the same thing myself. It's always my dh who has to drag me down to earth.

Evesmama Sat 14-May-05 20:53:59

thats interesting(for me anyway, think dd might have other ideas)

yeah im normally the level headedone, but ive been happily bouncing around in a make believe bubble

Evesmama Sat 14-May-05 20:54:24

level headed one that should have read

starlover Sat 14-May-05 21:07:09

i'm exactly the same EM! Every time I look at the property news I think, oh this one;s only a BIT more, then the next one is only BIT more than that... I would love a big semi or detached, with a lovely garden, off road parking and at least 3 beds.

But, we are actually going to have to go for a 2 bed terrace because that;s all we can afford.

At the end of the day though it is putting us in an area we like, and getting us on the property ladder which I tihnk is more important. A few years on we will be able to sell and move into our lovely big hosue!

We are renting at the mo, and I just feel like it's such a waste of money.
We tried to get a mortgage before and no-one would offer us hardly anything. But this time we're going to go in and say THIS is the house we need, will you give us this amount?

Evesmama Sat 14-May-05 21:13:58

i feel guilty cos we have a 3bed semi with drive, 3 beds and nice garden(courtesy of all of dps hard work today!)
but its such a shitty area!
plus ive always had money, so now cos we're stuck here because of my situation makes me feel crap

bubblerock Sat 14-May-05 21:26:32

Can you not rent your current house out to pay the mortgage + maybe a bit more (and still own a property) and rent another house yourself in the better area - sounds a bit daft but then someone else is paying your mortgage and you're paying someone elses. I'm sure there are lots of families who would want to rent your house - sounds like a good idea in my head anyway

Then if your circumstances change in the future you can sell your property and buy in your new area - ie when kids are older and you can work without childcare!

starlover Sat 14-May-05 21:26:58

I can't say I know exactly how you feel... but I can imagine.
All I can say is that you have to look at what you want, and what you've got, and figure out how to make the most of it!
DON'T feel crap, and don't feel guilty... things are how they are for a reason, and you can't change it! So you have to work out how to make the most of it.

If you really want to move to a better area, with a better school for DD, then DO it.. if that means downsizing then that's ok really... isn't it?

I know how gutting it feels to find something you want so badly and then not be able to have it... but I am a strong believer that things happen for a reason... even though you can't see it right now!

Evesmama Wed 18-May-05 12:44:19

cant stay as dd is very poorly
just pooped on while she was asleep to say we have been offered £20k less than the house we wanted by some affordabilty mortgage brokers and although we can t get 'THE HOUSE'...we can still get one in the area and could possible still get detatched(although it will prob need work and wont 'tick' all our boxes, but thats life isnt it!

just to say thanks to EVERYONE for all your help

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