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please help, i had children's social services round today

(58 Posts)
Hther Tue 09-Jun-09 20:47:01

to do an intial assessment, as my friends had been concerned. I'd been feeling low, because they'd of things they'd done and they were concerned I was suicidal so rang them last week. They came today, are going to ring school, HV etc and get back to me. Although a children's centre worker who had been supporting me said she hadn't heard from them but that she guessed they would want to, the sw said they had spoken to her. I got back to her again and she still said they hadn't spoken with her. Then SS got back to me again and said this worker had raised concerns herself, after my friends had.

I dont know what to do, SS said they dont know which way its going to go but they're a bit anxious tha i have 4 such young ones to cope with

conniedescending Tue 09-Jun-09 20:51:08

you need to be open and honest with social services and with yourself

what do you need help with? why do your friends think you need help?

petitmaman Tue 09-Jun-09 20:51:31

um dont really have any advice but didn't want you to go unanswered. do you fell ok? able to cope or not really? ss are there to help. doesn't mean they will just take your children or anything. they can offer support etc. if they can then let them. if you are fine then i am sure they will see that. good luck.

Hther Tue 09-Jun-09 20:57:18

my friends thought i was suicidal. I was low the other week, mainly as they had let me down so I was feeling fed up. I find it hard to cope yes, but had stopped feeling low, until this happened, and the children centre worker rang them as my child had bald patch from twisting her hair

Louby3000 Tue 09-Jun-09 20:59:58

I agree with the other posters, just be open and up front and if you need help, then ask for help, dont be afraid that you will lose your kids. MY mum is a social worker and from her experience it is rare and the very last resort taking kids out of the family home.
I hope things improve for you.

MerlinsBeard Tue 09-Jun-09 21:01:07

Do SS come round if you are suicidal? (genuine question)

controlfreakythecontrolfreak Tue 09-Jun-09 21:03:48

they do if they are concerned re children's welfare because of someone raising concerns. good luck op.

Hther Tue 09-Jun-09 21:21:16

excuse typing errors, feel very stressed

i was already getting lots support, i dont know if i need a solicitor yet

Hther Tue 09-Jun-09 21:49:02

was going to co-operate, but whe i find my outreach worker has done this, and it sounds like people are mishearing each other and misinterpreting each other and i'ma fraid its all going to get it out of hand

LesbianMummy1 Tue 09-Jun-09 22:05:52

you don't say where you are but could an organisation like homestart help you just to give a helping hand. Just to reassure you I am a child minder and often if the service is available in your area social services agree to pay for some regular childcare to give you a break etc, not all social workers are unsupportive most want to help and they really don't step in to the point you need a solicitor unless they have genuine concern your children are in danger.

Hther Wed 10-Jun-09 16:33:22

thanks for all messages, do i need a solicitor

Hther Wed 10-Jun-09 21:24:16


thisisyesterday Wed 10-Jun-09 21:29:49

Hther, let them help.
the best thing you can do is be absolutely open and honest with them.
I think when people start getting defensive and closing up is when they get suspicious, if you see what I mean? of course, it's only natural to feel defensive when something like this happens, but they DO want to help.

I hope it all turns out for the best and you get the help and support that you need

Hther Wed 10-Jun-09 21:35:17

i just don't know what to expect

thisisyesterday Thu 11-Jun-09 11:25:18

do you have anyone who can be with you when they come round? it sounds as though your friends are very concerned about you, maybe one of them would be there with you?

Hther Thu 11-Jun-09 12:17:32

well the friends that were concerned enough to do it don't want to know now, and when they rang to say what they had done, that was the first they had been in touch for ages, i had been feeling a bit low, and their ignoring me hadn't helped that but by the time they rang ss, i'd been fine for weeks

LesbianMummy1 Thu 11-Jun-09 18:53:47

where in country are you?

Hther Thu 11-Jun-09 20:58:21

hi sorry can't say for fear of being identified

LesbianMummy1 Thu 11-Jun-09 21:27:26

only meant what county as may be able to give more specific advice

Hther Thu 11-Jun-09 21:40:02

quite new to musmnet so not sure i can CAT you as that wold be better. I think you have to sign up to CAT, do you have experience of this sort of thing then? sorry, personal question, i don't mean you personally, but may have worked in the system or know someone who has had them involved

Hther Thu 11-Jun-09 21:42:35

sorry just saw you're a childminder

LesbianMummy1 Thu 11-Jun-09 21:56:58

that's okay cat me and I will try to help also have experience from previous employments or if you can't do it let me know and will give you an email address

LesbianMummy1 Thu 11-Jun-09 21:58:17

if you click on my name I think you can send message that way

Hther Thu 11-Jun-09 22:01:17

don't seem to be able to

chegirl Thu 11-Jun-09 22:02:50


You must be really worried.

If at all possible can you have someone with you when SS come round? It always hleps.

Please try not to panic. SS have to come and see you because of the concerns raised. They dont want to take your kids away.

There is a good organisation that offers advice and support to anyone involved with social services. They are very professional and knowledgable.

They are called The Family Rights Group. They have a website at and a helpline (number on website).

I know you may be feeling got at and let down. Try and see this as a way of getting help. Easy for me to say but its really much better to be open and honest with SS. They really want your kids to stay with you. Its very very expensive to put kids in care and no ss wants to split a family despite what the papers say.

I really hope things go ok for you. Please give family rights group a try.

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