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CAN CHILDREN REALLY BE EXPECTED TO BE QUIET??

(52 Posts)
Fio2 Tue 10-May-05 07:52:25

IN THEIR OWN HOME???

Fio2 Tue 10-May-05 07:52:42

oops sorry caps

PuffTheMagicDragon Tue 10-May-05 07:55:22

No!

Dh is self employed, always worked from home, and realised that it was he who had to make the compromises, not 2 toddlers!

What's going on Fio?

Fio2 Tue 10-May-05 07:56:13

my neighbour is complaining now that my children play too loudly, it is driving me mad

PuffTheMagicDragon Tue 10-May-05 07:59:18



Our neighbour is quite deaf, so luckily don't have this problem.

I don't see what you can do about it - is he/she a reasonable neighbour normallly?

fostermum Tue 10-May-05 08:07:08

only with in the hours of normality,after about 6 in the evening and before before say 9 in the morning i try to keep the decibels down

Twiglett Tue 10-May-05 08:19:58

maybe you have strange walls that amplify the noise - other people's noise can be very grating - yes even your wonderful children squealing round the house when she is trying to do somethingn that needs quiet

is it possible to have a decent conversation with the neighbour? can you discuss when it is particularly jarring for her and try to get your kids doing something else then (video / creative stuff ?)

she sounds like an old bat really but you could exacerbate it by not seeming to be open to her

Evesmama Tue 10-May-05 08:20:39

i once asked my neighbours son to stop kicking his heavy basket ball at our iron fence as it was vibrating through the whole house, the wonderful fish wife, then gave me a good ticking off about how children should be able to play and as it was only 3pm, there shouldnt be a problem....without backing down about that particular one(our fence, wed have to pay for damage), i realised in some ways she was right.
my dd will soon be having friends round and i want them to be 'children' too and wouldnt be happy if someone complained about that...they are kids..so let them be kids...remind her she was young once!!!

on the other hand the same neighbour told me she would be more respectful of an evening...then proceeded to play booming music at 7.30pm (when im putting dd down) and then came in from night out at 12pm and played music, sang and shouted until 3-4am

stitch Tue 10-May-05 08:23:44

my mom always said that when kids were quiet you should be concerned as they were probl up to no good!
once she found the neighbours daughter playing 'doctor' in a questionable way with little sis when all was quiet!

Fio2 Tue 10-May-05 08:24:06

she is driving me mad. I must NOT be so sensitive about it. She just complains CONSTANTLY

last night it was.....

my children get up too early, granted they get up at 6.30 - 7 am

they play too loudly and she can hear it

can i put carpet down as the lounge is too noisy (most probably is, but I have two large rugs down) I cant afford carpet as I told her


my husbands working hours are too long and he wakes her up with the wardrobe doors in the front bedroom, which we havent used for months as the room is empty!

I dont do enough recycling (I fill about six bags in a fortnoght, large bags)

She wishes we had have moved in twenty years earlier as she cant stand the noise the kids make and she is retired. i am 27

oh and she moaned about everyone else. it is so draining.

My husband has shouted at me saying I must just say 'hello' and run in the house as fast as possible and not get drawn into it

JUST NEED TO RANT

elsmommy Tue 10-May-05 08:26:50

Sounds like she just likes causing problems!!
Tell her she has her tv too loud and she slams doors or something!!

Evesmama Tue 10-May-05 08:27:09

tell her to bog off winging old mare!!!

shes got no roight telling you how to run your life.

tell her if she is so botherd, buy you some new carpets, buy you some wardrobes that dont bang when opened!

or better still, put a pair of earplugs in your bag and next time she collars you, say oh, yes ive got something for you..hand them to her and walk in

Fio2 Tue 10-May-05 08:27:20

I do try and be as resonable as possible. I just feel like I am being dictated to in my owmn home. FWIW I dont even hear the neighbours the other side , I may hear their music occassionally but my hall is joined to that house, like her hall is joined to ours, her main living space is on the other side to the hall, do ykwim

Evesmama Tue 10-May-05 08:28:34

yeah, she just likes to winge!

give her a knock and say can she walk up the stairs more quietly as she sounds like a baby elephant

stitch Tue 10-May-05 08:30:00

sounds like mrs mckluskie from desperate housewives.
ignore the old bag. as long as you know in your own conscience that its all ok, just dont listen to her.

Evesmama Tue 10-May-05 08:31:07

stand in the hall and sing at the top of your voice

CountessDracula Tue 10-May-05 08:31:20

suggest that she moves to retirement accommodation where the only noise will the dribbling....

Evesmama Tue 10-May-05 08:31:54

or say im suprised you can hear at all at your age

Fio2 Tue 10-May-05 08:33:21

she told me the guy who lived here before was soooo quiet, he was in his 90's and she forgets she told me he used to have his tv on full blast and it used to annoy her.

must not get so wound up must not get so wound up i just cant believe the fact she is so openly rude to me, oh well i suppose its life and i should get used to it

PuffTheMagicDragon Tue 10-May-05 08:37:17

I think your dh's solution is probably the only one here - if you were able (and it's not possible) to meet her list of demands, you can guarantee she'll find another list.

She's out of order Fio - it almost sounds as if she waits around to constantly intercept you and have a go - am I right?

CountessDracula Tue 10-May-05 08:39:33

you could always fall out with her bigtime so she didn't want to talk to you at all

Evesmama Tue 10-May-05 08:39:42

when she tries to collar you, walk past her and ingnore her..pretend your a tad deaf, then you can ignore her and her stupid wittering!

really id tell her to give it a rest, she has no right to constantly complain and you would speak to someone about harrasment if it continued!

LGJ Tue 10-May-05 08:42:31

Have a BBQ and invite her around to discuss things

Only joking, I am with your DH, start blanking her, she is trying to control you.

Puff is right, if you sort this out it will be something else next week.

Azure Tue 10-May-05 08:46:41

Fio2 I've been in a similar situation - it makes you feel bad even though you are not doing anything wrong. Once my old neighbours complained about me cooking Sunday lunch too loudly, and we spent a year with DS sleeping in our room and us in the spare room so they didn't hear him if he woke in the night. Some people just like to complain and there's not much you can do about it - it sounds as if you are already considerate and civil. They should live in a detached house in the countryside if they don't want the risk of hearing neighbours - but then would probably complain about the birds singing too loudly.

handlemecarefully Tue 10-May-05 08:52:05

Keep in polite but assertive. I would say something like:

I don't know if you realise this but practically everything you say is a complaint. I do not intend to talk to you anymore unless you can be more pleasent. Goodbye.

I would then on future occasions mutter a perfunctory good morning and walk on.

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