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My son has no friends where we live...

16 replies

Octopussy · 04/05/2005 18:51

My son is 10. We live in a village but my son doesnt attend the local primary school. We don't have very nice neighbours whose sons have made it clear they don't want to play with my son. As a result he has to watch them playing right outside our house, football, climbing trees etc, etc. It breakes my heart. We have tried with Beavers and football clubs, but they don't really want to know him because of the school issue and the neighbours children. We occasionaly have friends over to play but most of his friends from school live quite a long way away and certainly cannot just pop over for tea. As a result he is very lonely at the weekends and ends up just wanting to watch football or play playstation. I also have 2 girls who are younger. When he does do any kind club, such as on holiday or sport club he is always a very popular lad. Anyone been in the same boat? I really feel sad for him and don't know what I can do?

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LemonDrizzle · 04/05/2005 18:55

I don't have a cure but it is so hard when you live in a village. He has friends at school, that is good. Could you perhaps make friends with the parents of the boys? have them all over for a bbq or something. It might just break the ice(?)

If he is popular elsewhere I shouldn't worry too much. Does he seem upset by it?

Octopussy · 04/05/2005 18:56

Thanks Lemondrizzle. I guess I am more upset by it than he is as I feel he should be out there climbing trees with the rest of them! I don't want to give him a problem but it is hard when they are right outside my front door and won't even acknowledge my son....

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moondog · 04/05/2005 18:57

'they dont really want to know him because of the school issue and the neighbours' children'

??? Don't really understand what you're saying here.

Why doesn't he go to the local school?

Octopussy · 04/05/2005 18:58

Actually I forgot to mention that I have tried making friends as you suggested. My neighbour won't really speak to me and is very frosty towards us. The other parents are nice and I even asked if he could play with their son and she said that it was my choice where I sent my son to school and if I had sent him to the village one then maybe he would have some friends in the village!

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noddyholder · 04/05/2005 18:59

what about having a friend to sleep over at the weekends from time to time

Octopussy · 04/05/2005 19:00

Because he was already settled in another one and we didn't want to move him at the time. Perhaps we were wrong in that?

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bundle · 04/05/2005 19:03

are you planning on staying in the village? is it a nice school?

moondog · 04/05/2005 19:06

As someone who went to boarding school and never had that many people to hang about with in the holidays, I would seriously consider moving him to the local school.

nutcracker · 04/05/2005 19:09

Will they all go onto the same secondary school though ???

Octopussy · 04/05/2005 19:15

Yes they may go to the same secondary school. The village is nice enough but some people have been here a VERY long time and I still think we are probably considered newcomers...I have tried to get involved locally at the local playgroup, gone on committees etc, etc but don't know what else I can do.

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nutcracker · 04/05/2005 19:16

Well if they are all going to go to the same secondary school then there isn't much point in moving him now is there ???

I can understand why it upsets you, but if he isn't bothered by it then i wouldn't worry.

Octopussy · 04/05/2005 19:20

Nutcracker you are probably right... I just hope he fits in well when he changes schools. I had an awful time when I changed and it took me a while to make new friends. I just hope they accept him. Blimey I sound like a neurotic woman don't I!

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Octopussy · 04/05/2005 19:20

Nutcracker you are probably right... I just hope he fits in well when he changes schools. I had an awful time when I changed and it took me a while to make new friends. I just hope they accept him. Blimey I sound like a neurotic woman don't I!

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LemonDrizzle · 04/05/2005 19:21

octo - do you live in my village? I think lots of villages are like that. Take it from an 'outsider' generations of families growing up together, it is hrd to break in to.

I would talk to him, woould he like to go to the local school? He could still have his own friends round at weekends and such.

The down side is, I would think long and hard if he would be accepted at the local school. You wouldn't want to move him away from his friends unless he wanted to.

Octopussy · 04/05/2005 19:25

Lemondrizzle.... so you are a fellow villager then are you? I have people I know here whose grandparents went to the village school!! It is hard to know what to do for the best. We have decided that if we move house we will not move to a village again!

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LemonDrizzle · 04/05/2005 20:12

yip, all villages are the same I think. Once you're sucked in there's no way out either It's too late for you, if your son makes friends you will never leave!

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