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My bread maker broken at my friend's. What to do?

(14 Posts)
Eulalia Sun 27-Apr-03 13:14:38

I lent my bread maker to a friend recently and it broke while she was using it. It is un-repairable and looks like it could have happened at any time.

I took it home for my dh to look at and haven't told her yet that it is un-repairable. Unfortunately the bread maker is out of warranty. It had hardly been used by me so its a bit of a mystery why it broke unless she’s not telling me the whole story but it looks unlikely to have been tampered with and besides I trust her.

What I’d like to ask is what happens now. Dh says if he’d borrowed something and it broke while he had it, he would replace it (regardless of whether it was his fault or not). However this seems a bit unfair. I want to be prepared so I know what to say if she does suggest this. Would it be mean to let her fork out for a new one?

What would you do if this had happened to you? I think she is embarrassed and feels she wants to do something. What about a compromise – we split the costs of a new one? Alternatively she buys one and uses it for awhile and then gives it to me? (I’d lent her our one because I wasn’t using it as we don’t have space till we get a new kitchen).

She is quite a good friend and we have borrowed other things from each other in the past (but nothing electrical!). She’s fairly well off so wouldn’t suffer if she did have to pay something. Any suggestions please?

emsiewill Sun 27-Apr-03 13:21:38

If I had borrowed something from someone and it broke when I had it, I too would feel obliged to replace it. However, if it was my piece of equipment that had broken at someone else's house, I would feel embarrassed accepting a new one, so it really is a difficult situation to be in.
I think the idea of splitting the cost of the new one sounds good, and maybe sharing the use of it, too.

doormat Sun 27-Apr-03 14:04:30

Why not tell her the situation and see what she offers you.If she offers you a new one I would take it as she would probably feel guilty.It is a tricky one though and I certainly wouldnt make it an issue. Do what you think is best for you.

On the subject of borrowing things my dp borrowed a strimmer off my best friends dp. After we used it my friend came down immediately and DEMANDED the money for a new one.Her dp was angry that it broke by us using it.My dp offered to replace it instead. We bought a new one the next day and they still wanted to keep the old broken one.My dp told them that he may aswell have the broken strimmer as he could try and repair it.When dp took it home there was nothing wrong with it at all. Needless to say our friendship has cooled since that incident.

pamina Sun 27-Apr-03 18:33:23

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SoupDragon Sun 27-Apr-03 19:09:30

It it were me in this situation, I think if she offered to replace it, I'd suggest we went halves instead. If she's not done anything silly and physically broken it herself, then this seems fair

Claireandrich Sun 27-Apr-03 19:37:09

If it had been me I would have felt bad and had to have offered a new one if unrepairable. Not sure what I'd do the other way round though.

Mind, two friends of ours broke our toilet seat whilst visiting - don't ask how, we didn't!!! - and using the bathroom at the same time. They came downstairs and told us, apologised - then went back upstairs to finish off their bathroom capers; sorry I mean getting washed and dressed! Didn't offer to replace it at all and I was too embarrassed to mention in again.

WideWebWitch Sun 27-Apr-03 20:23:15

Eulalia, if I was the friend I would just buy you a new one (assuming money wasn't a problem) once I found out it was broken and present it to you. I feel a bit like Emieswill: if I were in your position I'd be too embarrassed to take any money for it or to suggest splitting the cost but if I were in the friend's position I would automatically replace it. I think if a friend suggested paying for it I'd just be too embarrassed to take the money - I just know I'd brush off any suggestion with 'nooo, you don't have to do that, don't be silly'. However much I said I wouldn't, I just know that's what would come out of my mouth. So I think in your position I'd just hope she brings over a new one. BTW, read the title of the thread and thought the question was "How am I going to make bread now the breadmaker's broken?" !

Eulalia Sun 27-Apr-03 21:11:53

Thanks for the suggestions. She seemed quite horrified and even said "I've broken your breadmaker". It was just left that my dh would look at it and we would take it from there. I think she was hoping that he would be able to fix it.

I think I'll just play it by ear when I tell her. I feel maybe splitting the costs is an idea (although who will eventually own the breadmaker?) in the short term. It is tricky. Anyway thanks for your thoughts. Mumsnet is great for these kind of questions!

Eulalia Sun 01-Jun-03 20:47:20

Sorry I forgot to update on this one. We agreed that as it wasn't strictly speaking her fault that she shouldn't have to pay for anything. However I was looking for a fire guard and my friend gave me her old one - it has a piece missing but still OK and saved me buying one. So we called it quits at that.

Now I have another problem. I lent my stair gate to a different friend. I asked for it back when dd started walking about 5 weeks ago. She said she'd look for it (it had been out away) then admitted that bits were missing in a kind of joking way. I had to nag her again but was a bit lenient as she was suffering from morning sickness. However the weeks have gone by and I keep asking. finally she says she's found 3 pieces but one piece is still missing and that she'll look for it "when she can". I am really annoyed as my dd has already fallen down the stairs once and am in the position of going to have to buy or borrow another gate. She's never offered to replace the gate. Should I just be up front and demand it or tell her to stuff it and cut my losses.

What would you do?


Sigh - sometimes it's easier just to not borrow/lend things!

WideWebWitch Sun 01-Jun-03 21:12:33

Well, there you go Eulalia, for me it's all about the friend's attitude, because whilst I was willing to make allowances for your bread maker friend, I'm fairly cross with your stairgate friend since she doesn't seem in the least bit contrite! Mmm, I think I'd call her (I find 'phone calls easier for awkward conversations like this) and say, "I really need my stairgate back urgently since x is walking and has fallen down the stairs x times, what's the soonest you think you can get it to me?" and hope she either finds all the bits or offers to replace it pdq. If she doesn't, umm, I'd probably just fume, moan about it but not actually be able to bring myself to do much more. Let us know, won't you, I did think Oh good, I'm glad she's posted the outcome of that story when I saw this thread come up. Sad, moi?

judetheobscure Sun 01-Jun-03 21:55:13

If dd has fallen down the stairs you need another stairgate urgently. If your friend can't find the bits asap tell her you'll have to buy a new one. If she doesn't offer to pay then don't lend her anything again. I personally would not be "forward" enough to ask her to pay.

fallala Mon 02-Jun-03 00:05:53

What bits are missing from the stargait? Is it the small white plastic cups that locate the bits that screw out to the side holding it against the door frame?
If so you can improvise with small jar lids ( baby food or anchovy /pesto jars are ideal) into which you drill a hole.
I think your friend is probably just a bit dippy, and if so i can sympathise.

Eulalia Mon 02-Jun-03 23:05:34

Another friend can lend me one in the meantime. Actually dd is really good as she just stands at the top and shouts for me. We have a gate at the bottom but I'd prfer to have both top and bottom. I think ds pushed her when she fell - not intentionally I hasten to add.

She is very dippy and is the sort of person you have to spell things out to. I'll wait until I've got the replacement and then probably tell her about having to borrow one (more moral pressure). I think it is the screw and cup part that are both missing although she's not made it clear.

Will let you know what happens. Thanks.

Eulalia Sun 15-Jun-03 11:37:37

Just an update on the stair gate situation. My friend eventually found the missing parts. I am meeting her today to get it back - 7 weeks after first asking for it! I had a go at her about taking so long. Her excuse was she had bad morning sickness, blah blah, husband tired in evneings... etc... I made allowances for all this but still felt this was a long time. She even started going on at me about how stair gates weren't necessary (she had used mine between rooms) and that other people did without them!!! I soon put her in her place. She is pregnant with twins and seems to think that she is a special case and that it gives her an excuse to say what she likes, sit around and do nothing and have people run after her.

Sorry, rant over... thanks for your contributions everyone

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