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Adoption .. advice please.........

(10 Posts)
Slink Sat 30-Apr-05 13:03:35

I am looking at the net also but in others experience:

How long does it take?
TTC for 4yrs is that a good reason, would love another have dd 4?
Is local Authority ones better?

And anything else you may think i need to know or ask. Thank you xx

bran Sat 30-Apr-05 13:21:19

Hi Slink, we took just over a year from the time we first contacted our local authority until we were approved as adoptors, and then another almost 2 years until we had a child placed with us. The waiting time varies depending on your ethnicity, what age of child you want, whether you specify a girl or boy, whether you're prepared to take siblings, and mostly just luck.

Independent agencies are often quicker at assessing you, but often the children they deal with are more difficult to place ones that local authorities haven't been able to find families for.

Adoption UK is a very useful website and has a message board, although they get so many general "tell me about adoption" type enquiries that the response to them isn't that good, but it's worth looking through the past posts, and at the other information on the home page.

There is a very good book called Adopting after infertility which helped me a lot when we were considering adoption after giving up IVF, it's written from an American point of view so the adoption process isn't quite the same but it's useful even so. I'm pretty sure that Adoption UK have a couple of straight-forward books about the adoption process in the UK, I know we read a few although I can't remember the title.

HTH

Slink Sat 30-Apr-05 18:40:49

Thank you bran for replying. I am off to the libary next week so will see what they have there and will also look out for the book you mentioned.

Thank you xx

maggie61 Mon 02-May-05 22:20:46

hi there , we have adopted twice, in 2000 it took 10 monthsfrom starting a course for prospectin=ve adopters in november to having a child come to live with us in the following september, it was the best thing we ever did ,most rewarding experience.sadly he died just 10 months later, we went back to our local authority who advised us to wait a year to grieve, they said this was based on couples following on from ivf, they felt ypu need a year to come to terms with your situation.
the second time,it was not a full year as they initially said, our little one died in july,they started the process in february,as they already had alot of background to us,we were approved in august ,but police checks to another few months as the backlog from the change to the criminal records bureau had started, finally we met our new baby in the following june.
all adoptions are so individual i would say make some phone calls ,otherwise you can get misguided ideas from people whose situations are different.
i would just like to say be patientand the rewards are beyond words, good luck

Slink Tue 03-May-05 17:38:36

Maggie thank you for replying, sorry to hear of your loss, but glad to hear of new arrival.

I already have my own dd 4 so wonder weather that would have an effect as i have heard they prefer to give to childless couples????

maggie61 Tue 03-May-05 21:58:25

we also have ds, in some ways it works for you having a child already, as you have lots of experience and have already got used to parenthood. our local authority will only place children 2 years younger than existing children in the family as this is more of a natural setting and more acceptable to your dd as she will still be the eldist child

Slink Wed 04-May-05 12:11:13

Maggie thank you again, god i have loasd of questions really, i was wondering about age as i thought about a baby but wondered how practical that is??

Although i do feel reassured that having one already does not put me at a disadvantage.

When you say police checks do they do all family in contact with the child??? and do we need references??? thank you so much

maggie61 Wed 04-May-05 16:58:56

i really do think you should phone the local authority,ours came round for a really informal chat, but it was very reassuring, the social workers are nt the dragons the media make them out to be, although i admit i called them far worse during the process , as it is long and drawn out at times. the police checks are done on anyone who lives in your house, but they are only concerned in issues that would relate to child saftey.the youngest you could possibly adopt is around 8-10 months old as it takes so long for all the formalities to be gone through.our ages were late 30,s and late 40,s

Slink Wed 04-May-05 17:20:09

Thank you, i will get intouch with the local Authority just had few questions. As for social workers i was one till 3yrs ago just not in this area.

Thank you, you have been a great deal of help.

maggie61 Wed 04-May-05 20:18:34

good luck and wishing you much happiness whatever happens in your future

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