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Once again I feel like a complete failure

(12 Posts)
sweetkitty Fri 22-Apr-05 09:02:52

I have a lovely car sitting outside registered and insured in my name, I have a full clean licence to drive it as well. But today I will walk up the shops rather than drive as to drive will probably mean I have a panic attack.

I passed my test 5 years ago drove a little but haven't really driven for 3 years, the thought of it makes me feel so sick. Why ever one else can do it? Why can't I?

stitch Fri 22-Apr-05 09:08:19

i used to feel this way when i couldnt pass my driving test.
if you have a panic attack, then you need to adress the root of the problem. why does driving make you so panicky? obviously in the past it wasnt so bad as you managed to get through the test. i failed five times...
something called bach rescue remedy may help. spray on your tongue twice before you gt nt he car.
but its healthier to walkt o the shops. good excercise and better for the environment. you are not a failure, but a good person, who is at the moment down about something.

mancmum Fri 22-Apr-05 09:41:21

I get a bit like this when I have not driven for a few weeks so I imagine after 3 years, it must be awful... you can drive, all you have done is lost your confidence... this happened to my mum and so she bookd a couple of driving lessons as a refresher to show her that she could do it... and was transformed after just 1.... why not try that... just think what a boost to your confidence it will be if you start driving again...

gothicmama Fri 22-Apr-05 09:48:51

I was like that too in September now I drive 80 miles + per day so necessity meant I had to drive but I used to go out early in the mornings and at less busy times to get used to it I also use to follow dh and BIL daft but it gave me confidence my latest truimph has been reverse parking so take your time go short distances adn in a way you feel safe you can do it

Mud Fri 22-Apr-05 09:49:19

you need to build your confidence back up - book a course of lessons

yoyo Fri 22-Apr-05 09:50:06

Why not book some refresher lessons?

I loathed driving and would cycle everywhere rather than do it but then children came along. I don't think I'll ever enjoy driving but am confident enough to tackle most routes now.

My father taught me to drive initially and I hated it as I was always doing something wrong acording to him. I never felt at ease after that even though I passed my test first time.

Saacsmum Fri 22-Apr-05 09:51:23

Hi, I got my full licence at 18 and havent driven till recently (I am now 33). I also have panic attacks and when ever I drove I would be huffing and puffing as I felt like I couldnt breathe and I would have tears streaming down my face. We had a baby at the end of last year and he was very sick. There was one day when I wanted to admit him back into hospital as he was going down hill again but he wasnt in need of an ambulance. I couldnt drive and had to get a taxi, during the trip I made up my mind to give driving my best shot for his sake. We have an automatic car and whenever I get the chance I do the driving with my very supportive husband beside me to tell me stuff like which lane to get in and other things which still freak me out. I am a long way off ever driving by myself but I have made huge steps towards a goal I thought I would never acheive. You are not the only one who feels this way about driving and struggles with it daily. Hope this helps and that we both manage to gain confidence and achieve this goal.

sweetkitty Fri 22-Apr-05 10:10:21

Thanks ladies it means an awful lot to me to know I'm not the only one who feels like this, sometimes you feel a freak.

I had hypnotherapy before and also refresher lessons but then we didn't have a car so I didn't drive for a year after that.

I discovered during hypnotherapy why I feel like I do (long story).

WigWamBam Fri 22-Apr-05 10:59:51

If you know why you feel the way that you do, is there any way that you can address it? Could counselling or treatment for phobias help?

It won't be worth having refresher lessons until you have addressed the root cause of the problem in whatever way you need to.

dropinthe Fri 22-Apr-05 11:01:31

Knew you wouldnt keep away WWB!

WigWamBam Fri 22-Apr-05 11:11:06

I've had a couple of weeks off, and feel better for it. Must keep the addiction firmily under control, though - so I'm trying to limit the amount of time I'm here.

I don't know how long I'll succeed for though

bea Fri 22-Apr-05 11:13:40

i passed my test about 10 years ago and then just did not drive, the thought of all those other cars on the road just made me break out in a cold sweat and grip the steering wheel so hard it was frightening... admittedly never had panic attacks so it wasn;t so bad... but it did make me feel very very apprehensive... i finally plucked up the courage to get some refresher lessons... first with the AA (as they taught in focus cars - which is what our car is... i though if i had refresher lessons in exactly the same model as my own it would make it easier...) and the instructor was not very inspiring... so i changed and got a lovely lovely instructor who made me feel very at ease and after 10 lessons (i just kept booking them as to stop booking them meant i had to get out onto the road myself!)i let myself out on the road... for the first couple of times it was awful... i only drove about 2 set routes... and gradually you build it up... now i can even talk to the kids when driving!!! ...
don't worry about it sweetkitty, it does get easier... even though it does seem impossible... and soon you'll be scooting all over the country... i'm so at ease with it now... we're thinking of getting my own car!!!

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