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If a stranger gave your child chocolate, what would you do?

(40 Posts)
marthamoo Tue 19-Apr-05 23:00:26

Happened today. I met my Mum in town - ds2 was in the buggy. My Mum was pushing the buggy. We were standing outside a shop and an old man just stopped by ds2 and peered down at him. I was trying to nudge Mum to get her to move the buggy but she was looking at plants outside Woolies and was oblivious. Next thing - the man gave ds2 a big bar of Dairy Milk (still wrapped), and shuffled off. He didn't say a word - not to me, not to ds2. Very strange. It made me very uncomfortable, tbh. It was bizarre that he didn't say anything at all - not "is it OK?" or "would he like?"

Told dh and he said I was overreacting and that it was just very sad - and just a harmless old man. Which is probably true but I didn't like it - and I took the chocolate away from ds2 and threw it away.

Any thoughts? I know it's late!

Gobbledigook Tue 19-Apr-05 23:02:10

Ahhh, MM! Sweet old man! Must admit, I'd probably have taken the chocolate away too, but throw it away ??? NOOOO I'd have scoffed it myself! Just to check it wasn't poisoned you understand!

Tinker Tue 19-Apr-05 23:02:47

I'd snatch it off child and eat it myself later

zenia Tue 19-Apr-05 23:02:57

Oh no , I wouldn't like this, he probably was a harmless old man, but my ds is allergic to dairy, so I would have been very cross, he should have checked it was ok.

GeorginaA Tue 19-Apr-05 23:03:34

I agree with your dh but I would have done the same as you. Does that make sense?

Tinker Tue 19-Apr-05 23:03:37

But an old man is not likely to be aware of allergies

expatinscotland Tue 19-Apr-05 23:03:46

Aw, what a sweet old man! I'd have eaten it or used it to bake something. But I never waste food.

jodee Tue 19-Apr-05 23:04:34

I'd definitely have eaten it myself! In fact, ds would have shoved it in my hand, being brown chocolate and all, he only likes Milky Bars.

Feel quite sorry the the old chap.

whatsername Tue 19-Apr-05 23:04:43

Erm, someone did something similar to me, when ds was throwing a tantrum a few weeks back. He did ask though.

I think it probably is harmless, I think elderly men (it was for me too) probably have no clue that it would make a mum uncomfortable. We are so much more aware and so much more suspicious these days.

That said I would have been very wary too and not sure I'd have let ds have it (he refused to take it anyway).

lavenderrr Tue 19-Apr-05 23:05:25

isn't it sad that we can't even accept an old gents kindness, someone who probably fought in the war, has grandchildren and was merely being a kind person for that moment in time.

zenia Tue 19-Apr-05 23:05:46

Maybe not, but I am VERY AWARE.

colditz Tue 19-Apr-05 23:05:47

Possibly he had had a stroke, and couldn't speak? Maybe he was remembering a child who had died, and wanted to do something nice for your child, but was too choked with emotions to say anything?

I wouldn't have let my child have it either, but I work with the elderly, and old men like to give children sweets. Probably because they used to be so scarce.

ruthiemum Tue 19-Apr-05 23:06:46

I think most of that generation are like that - i remember a woman trying to give ds a chewy sweet when he was one - just said I will save it for later. Think they are just trying to be nice.

zenia Tue 19-Apr-05 23:09:00

It is nice when an elderly person does something like that, so I would probably just smile and take it away when they aren't looking.

marthamoo Tue 19-Apr-05 23:09:14

Well, I do too - and I feel bad for being so suspicious, and maybe if he'd spoken it would have been different. And I wasn't going to eat it - do you know how many points there are in a bar of Dairy Milk ?

Btw, I actually said thankyou (in a shocked kind of voice) and I threw it away when I got home so he wouldn't have known his offering was rejected.

Another aspect of this is not encouraging your child to take things from strangers. Ds2 said later "I think he just thought I wanted some chocolate" and I said to him "yes, and it was very kind but we don't take things from people we don't know," but he's only 3, I don't know if he got it at all.

ruthiemum Tue 19-Apr-05 23:11:39

marthamoo you live in the same town as me! Maybe it is a done thing here!

marthamoo Tue 19-Apr-05 23:18:41

I didn't know you lived here too (have just posted on your profile). So do old men give your child sweeties too?

ruthiemum Tue 19-Apr-05 23:22:06

sorry just posted on profile to other message. It was a woman actually. She said she used to wait outside the school gates when school children were on breaks and give the children sweets, the teachers very politely asked her not to, this was all said to me under little Tescos shelter when it was throwing it down whilst trying to shove ds with chewy sweets, bless!

Branster Tue 19-Apr-05 23:23:07

I would have done the same moo - throw it away. But if anyone asks I'd say DD is alergic to chocolate (knwing full well I'l have to put up with 30min of questioning from DD as to what does alergic mean and loads of whys)
Saying that, before DD, when on hols with DH we had some sweets on the table (the kind they offer with coffee at the end of a meal), next to us was a family with two kids and I gave them teh chocolates. It didn't cross my mind it would be problem but DH did point out to me at the time I shouldn't have done it, then I apologised to the parents blah, blah. Now I understand though.
saying that, in my country I wouldn't mind strangers giving things to DD.

trefusis Tue 19-Apr-05 23:25:22

Message withdrawn

marthamoo Tue 19-Apr-05 23:26:58

Oooh ruthiemum.."little Tescos" you really are in Macclesfield I hate those people who congregate under there - can't get the blimmin' buggy past. Perhaps it's a local town for local people kinda thing.

Branster I think it's just you and I who would throw it away though.

ruthiemum Tue 19-Apr-05 23:27:47

oh god yeah, i remember that happening to me with strangers trying to stick their fingers in their mouths, how do you politely tell them not to do that. Wanted to wash them with TCP fairly quickly!

SamN Tue 19-Apr-05 23:28:03

People try to give my kids sweets all the time! It does tend to be the older people who do it. And ds1 (3yo also) has food sensitivities so I have to be careful. We usually say thank you very much and then check the ingredients later. (Dp ends up eating most of them .) Except I had to tell our next-door-neighbours about ds1's food sensitivity because I knew they would keep on buying him stuff.

Your ds probably does understand - my ds knows he shouldn't eat the things people give him but he doesn't tell them to their face (at least not in that sort of situation).

Branster Tue 19-Apr-05 23:28:10

Lol moo
My DH would deffinetly eat it himself!

marthamoo Tue 19-Apr-05 23:28:46

trefusis @ the old lady sticking her finger in your baby's mouth. Times really have changed I guess.

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