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Should I go on honeymoon?

(14 Posts)
lilibet Tue 19-Apr-05 21:23:10

dh and I got married in February and have been planning two nights away on the last weekend in April as our honeymoon. We can't go away for longer than this as ex has the boys every other weekend and we have managed to get a mate to agree to have them for the other night. We have no one who would have them for longer than this.

Whenever they are at x's they spend Sunday afternoon at his mothers (oh the tales I could tell about that she bitch from hell!). This, according to dd who only goes occasionaly is the most boring afternoon imaginable. The ds's always play up as they are so bored(no tv watching, no games, just playing cards with their Grandad). Last time but one when they went ds2 who is 8 was naughty, he does admit this, and his Grandma informed him that he was the naughtiest boy in the world and she didn't wnat him at her house any more. X followed this up by saying that if ds2 wasn't welcome at his mums then he didn't want to see him either and brought him home. Ds2 was incredibly upset and has made it up with his Dad but is refusing to go to his Grandma's. He now spends Sunday afternnons with us regardless of whose weeknd it is as I told him that if he doesn't wnat to go he doesn't have to.

so my point is this (eventually!) if we go away he will have to go to his Grandma's as we have no one who could pick him up and look after him for the afternoon - the mate who will have them overnight works till 6 on a Sunday. I'm for not going but dh says that if we decide not to go we are deciding that we will never go away alone again.

What would you do?

tamum Tue 19-Apr-05 21:55:13

Blimey, that's a tough one. I would actually explain the situation to ds2, and tell him that you really need him to go and put up with it this one last time, and then he needn't go again. Personally I would resort to bribery (present from honeymoon), but that's just my crap parenting. I do hope you manage to get away.

lilibet Tue 19-Apr-05 22:01:55

hadn't thought of bribery!!

handlemecarefully Tue 19-Apr-05 22:02:58

Oh crikey. I think I followed that.

Yes I kind of agree with tamum - but then feel sorry for Ds2.

Blimey, if you lived near me I'd have him, and very welcome he would be too! Where do you live? If close by you could come and meet me and vet me....

jodee Tue 19-Apr-05 22:03:16

I think you deserve a couple of nights on your own, Lillibet, like you say it may never happen again. Does your ex have to take them to Grandma's house every Sunday afternoon that he has them? Would there be any way of negotiating with your ex an outing elsewhere on the sunday afternoon, just this once perhaps?

SenoraPostrophe Tue 19-Apr-05 22:03:44

what an old cow!

will she have him?

if so, like tamum says (not crap parenting - wise parenting if you ask me). You never know, he might get on OK.

Alternatively could you not chat up some of the parents of his school friends? I know I'd take a boy for the night if it was only one night and for a honeymoon. In fact stick him on a plane and I'll have him. he sounds nice.

handlemecarefully Tue 19-Apr-05 22:04:16

Btw, I'm not some mad woman preying on other people's children. Hope you don't think that was a odd offer to make from a total stranger

marthamoo Tue 19-Apr-05 22:05:31

I've popped over from my clique to offer advice here but don't really know what to say. It's a really tough one. How rotten of your ex to say that about ds2 not being welcome at his Mum's so he didn't want him either

I just don't know. I mean, a honeymoon would be lovely, and a weekend isn't much to ask but would you really enjoy it or would you be fretting the whole time about what was going on back home. You see I think I would and then I know I would have a miserable time. Can't you beg your friend to have them both nights? Does the friend have children too - can you offer to return the favour?

Other than that - hardly a honeymoon but could you take the children? At least then it would be a semi-getaway. Or just go for the one night your friend can have them?

Whichever way you do it (and tamum's suggestion is equally valid) it's crap isn't it - aren't families a PITA?

marthamoo Tue 19-Apr-05 22:06:37

Ooh, more posts while I was typing that.

lilibet Tue 19-Apr-05 22:09:07

'negotiate with x' hmmmm - would be better negotiating with Idi Amin.

It's not a night - it's an afternoon, but it does mean someone going to x's and getting him, which isn't a pleasnat thing to have to do. x will not take him anywhere. X goes to his mothers every Sunday afternoon as sure as the sun rises each morning!

Hmc, sure you're not a mad woman and he is nice - he's gorgeous - all red hair and freckles!

handlemecarefully Tue 19-Apr-05 22:09:08

That makes sense (marthamoos suggestion) - surely your friend could be persuaded to do one more night particularly if there is an undertaking to return the favour.

lilibet Tue 19-Apr-05 22:11:39

hmmmm - hadn't thought of asking mate to have him another night doh!

This would mean her having ds2 for 2 nights and ds1 for one night.

This could be the solution

woo hoo - we can go away and have noisy sex!!

jodee Tue 19-Apr-05 22:21:17

Oh dear, scratch that idea then!

marthamoo Tue 19-Apr-05 22:35:04

She'll do it - it's your honeymoon. Hey, did I come up with a good solution? Did I? Yayyyy !

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