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Am I right to be angry by this comment? Sorry It's a long one.

(24 Posts)
Muggins2005 Sun 17-Apr-05 17:04:48

I have been really ill for the last couple of days with totm. I have been sweating and freezing cold at the same time, feeling very very sick with the pain, in agony so that I can hardly stand up so I have taking 5 painkillers every 4 hours (all prescribed) to help me through.

Last night i tidied all the living room, kitchen and bedrooms, whilst he sat on his arse, today as soon as i got up, I had some painkillers and as soon as they kicked in I prepared all the dinner and got everything ready and emptied the dishwasher from the night before and put some more in.

He said he would cook the dinner and serve it, but halfway through he called me in to put stuff out cos he couldn't do 'all the jobs at once', i went in and helped him and he had a go at me for not going in and making the gravy, he didn't bloody well ask me to is the main reason, he said that he hinted to which i retorted he shouldn't hint, he should ask, next thing he just turned round and said - 'God I know you feel ill, but we have feel crap and have to plod along', this is from a man who hardly does anything anyway and does even less when he has a cold or flu as he calls it.

I am now sat in agony again with 2 wheatbags on and going to bed as soon as I've bathed the kids cos he wants to watch horseracing

JoolsToo Sun 17-Apr-05 17:09:04

have a word with GDG - she knows exactly where you're coming from

darlingbud Sun 17-Apr-05 17:11:39

I would totally refunse to do anything - yes it is hard as I know when things need to be done they need to be done but it sometines takes that direct approach for them to get the message.

LGJ Sun 17-Apr-05 17:12:14

And if he had a cold, it would be MAN FLU

Chandra Sun 17-Apr-05 17:12:30

I think he is a perfect candidate to spend a full day with the children on his own while you spend the full day out, so he can apreciate what you do even when you are ill.

hunkermunker Sun 17-Apr-05 17:13:26

I'm a bit worried about your TOTM pain - have you had that investigated (I had stage 4 endometriosis and this sounds very familiar)?

And yes, I'd be livid! Don't do anything - and make him bath the children!

Muggins2005 Sun 17-Apr-05 17:18:34

JT - Who's GDG?

He has now gone for a bath which will take over an hour and will go spare if one of the kids wants to go up.

LGJ - Your right about the man flu, and I would not like to think how many times he has stayed in bed because of a hangover on a boys night out.

Chandra, if he had the kids for the day NOTHING would get done, he would spend ALL day shouting at them to be quiet so he can watching sport an they would eat junk ALL day.

Hunkermunker, I've been getting worse month by month, my stomach is rock solid as if pregnant, all the doctors keep doing is either giving me more tablets (which I can't take all the time because sometimes I am on my own with the kids and they make me v v drowsy) or, at the minute they are trying to persuade me to have the coil fitted which I don't want, I have been told that if I don't have that fitted then they aren't willing to do anything else at the minute.

JoolsToo Sun 17-Apr-05 17:31:11


Chandra Sun 17-Apr-05 17:35:26

Muggins... then leave him for a week. Eventually he would get to do something. I believe husbands are like children, if you allow them to have it always their way, they will have it!

hunkermunker Sun 17-Apr-05 17:47:23

Muggins, please try to get a referral to a gyne - you shouldn't be suffering like this.

Muggins2005 Sun 17-Apr-05 17:51:07

I have asked to be referred numerous times and all I have been told is that it is because of my weight and nothing else.

I have tried explaining that i only get 10 free days at a time then two weeks of discomfort, one of which is usually agony, i have sometimes nearly passed out with the pain of it all, and it makes me borderline anaemic because of the blood loss and just as my iron levels start getting back to normal, it starts all over again.

hunkermunker Sun 17-Apr-05 17:54:08

I wonder what would happen if you went to A&E? It's not right that you are just left or given the option of a coil when they don't actually know what's wrong.

Muggins2005 Sun 17-Apr-05 17:54:09

I am sat here seething at dh at the minute, i feel as though i should have an apology, I know for a fact he won't give and apology.

One load of the dishwasher has nearly finished, it will be me who has to unload, reload and check filter etc.

I can't hear what is being said, but he is now shouting at dd1, probably because she is interuppting his reading of a smutty mag, that he constantly leaves on the back of the toilet in full view of the children and the visitors

hunkermunker Sun 17-Apr-05 17:54:24

Alternatively, can you change your GP?

hunkermunker Sun 17-Apr-05 17:55:10

Tell him you've had enough of the pain, take a thick book and go to A&E. He can look after the children.

Muggins2005 Sun 17-Apr-05 17:55:18

I have heard so many horror stories about the coil and just feel that it would not be right for me.

I really do want something doing as I am so drained afterwards and feel so sick during its unbelievable.

Muggins2005 Sun 17-Apr-05 17:57:04

He seems to think that the pain should be gone within 24 hours, yesterday he was great, bringing up wheat bags etc and today he hasn't done bugger all.

I WISH he could suffer an hour of what I feel, I wouldn't wish a days worth of this pain on anyone, even my t**t of a hubby.

zebraX Sun 17-Apr-05 18:35:25

Muggins, have the tried giving you Ponstab/Mefenamic acid? It's like a miracle drug for period pain. Can't believe your GP won't investigate, am speechless, really. Does anyone know -- does being overweight/obese actually "cause" bad periods??

Muggins2005 Sun 17-Apr-05 19:00:49

Yes, they are one of the tablets that i am on at the minute and they do absolutely nothing for the pain, just ease the flow, the doctor told me this but insisted that i use them anyway.

zebraX Mon 18-Apr-05 12:50:06

Um, if you don't think the mefenamic acid helps, I don't think I'd take it! Like any other drug, it has negative side effects (in the iburprofen family, so stomach ills, tenuous link to asthma, I think).

Could you see another doctor, maybe a different one would get you referred for more investigations.

Though I think sometimes only hysterectomy sorts things out.

zebraX Mon 18-Apr-05 12:51:03

Wait, did the doctor tell you that mefanimc acid doesn't ease the pain?? It sure does for most people who try it. Your GP sounds increasingly clueless.

Muggins2005 Mon 18-Apr-05 15:17:41

My doctor told me that the mefanamic acid was purely to ease the flow and that it wouldn't take away the pain. I am still not right today, the worst parts are the pain, obviously, but also the constant nausea and back ache, sometimes it feels like i'm breaking in too it hurts that much.

zebraX Tue 19-Apr-05 19:42:43

Wow, muggins, I was told it was only for pain! I've never had heavy periods, I was prescribed mefenamic acid for the pain. Later I gave some (illicit) to a friend who was keeling over with terrible pain, and she was so delighted she badgered her GP to get her a prescription (I have no idea if she had heavy flow).

You must see another GP.

HappyDaddy Tue 19-Apr-05 22:46:07

My dw has terrible totm and I completely sympathise with you, Muggins. She basically has to spend 2 or 3 days in bed, vomitting.

Totm proves that god is a man.

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