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Just need to let off steam...

(18 Posts)
Gobbledigook Sun 17-Apr-05 12:18:09

Today I've got tons of work to do in order to be able to meet a Wedneday deadline for work (I freelance from home) - since I'm a SAHM, the weekend is really my biggest chunk of time to work.

Had to go to church this morning for a thanksgiving service ready for ds3's baptism next week so I've done no work all morning.

Need stuff from Tesco so dh says he'll go - get home and I go to get out the car to start work while he goes to which he says 'hang on, I'm not going to Tesco with 3 kids'.

Errr, sorry? Why not? Isn't that exactly what I do when he's at work? OK, not the last few weeks as I've been doing it on line but I'm at home with them on my own 5 days a week and we certainly are not housebound - I can't go anywhere without 3 kids, end of story!

Why are men so pathetic? What really gets me about this too is that I'm completely over run with 1000 things to do, not only for my deadline but also for the arrival of his family who are all staying with us for 3 days next week (his Mum, Dad, Sis, dh and dd aged 3) - just how much linen washing/drying/ironing, bedmaking, food cooking do you think he'll be doing? That's right - nada! As well as being a SAHM to the 3 kids fo 4 and under, working in every spare minute to meet my work deadline - I'll be trying to get the house straight, beds made, guest towels sorted (doesn't sound like much but the washer is on 3 times a day without this extra), meals to prepare for Saturday night for 8 adults and I still don't know how I'm catering for Sunday.

Lazy bar steward.

Feel better now - off to do some work. Thanks for the friendly ear!

jampots Sun 17-Apr-05 12:22:23

GDG! Why not compromise and ask him to take the two who would cause you most distraction

Or, when your deadline is met, you go to Tesco while he stays at home with the 3 kids and does the washing/preparing for his family visit

Gobbledigook Sun 17-Apr-05 12:25:29

Jampots - he said that, he said he could take 2 but not 3 and I know I could have said Ok to that, but it's the principle. What would happen if, when he wanted to set off to work tomorrow morning, I said 'hang on, I can cope with 2 but not 3, you'll have to take one with you'. Why is my work less important just because I'm not leaving the house to do it.

Tesco will be shut by the time I finish, I'll be here now till late tonight with the amount I've got to do

jampots Sun 17-Apr-05 12:31:08

Sorry GDG - I know its the principle. He'll just have to manage with 3 as you say, you have to do it.

Im sorry you're not having a good day and poo to all dh#s everywhere!

JoolsToo Sun 17-Apr-05 12:31:22

I think you deserve a girls night out

Gobbledigook Sun 17-Apr-05 12:42:17

Yes and now he's asking me what he can feed ds3 for lunch - apparently unless I come up with something he's not getting anything - he's 7 months old and he's expecting his lunch.

Do I honestly have to think of every tiny thing for him?

So, so utterly peed off today. He's such a lazy and ungrateful bastard.

jampots Sun 17-Apr-05 12:46:34

does he have access to any baby recipe books and the ability to whip something up? what about teh other 2 or does he find it easier to feed them because of their ages?

Do you fancy a weekend away somewhere GDG and we'll let our dh's have the kids for the entire weekend and see how they cope?

edam Sun 17-Apr-05 12:47:46

Wow, he really is an a**e isnt' he? There was an article in (I think) the Guardian last week (or maybe the Independent) about women who are in theory married but actually live almost as lone parents because their dh's do naff all. Sounds familiar?

JoolsToo Sun 17-Apr-05 12:48:49

tell him MILlys not happy with him

Gobbledigook Sun 17-Apr-05 12:53:19

Ha ha! Yesterday I said to him, put the oven on 200, put a sweet potato in for 1 hr, scoop the potato out and mash it with some milk and cheese and he couldn't even be bothered to do that! Crap or wot?

He finds the older 2 easier cos they eat 'normal' food but even then, he'd probably always do fish fingers and oven chips whereas I'll do pasta dishes, chicken and cous cous etc. It's not like any of those take any effort either.

Don't get me wrong, he's good with them in other ways but despite me having the kids all day and working in nap times, evenings, weekends I still do 99% of everything else and I'm knackered.

He looked after them yesterday while I worked but none of the washing got done - there's a load in the dryer and one in the machine and they've been there since Friday and the basket is in the middle of the kitchen floor just overflowing with more washing. There's also an ironing pile to make anyone cry...

It just really gets me down because I never stop...

Gobbledigook Sun 17-Apr-05 12:58:31

Edam - hmm, well, not really - we are very much a good team in most ways (he usually spends his work lunch hour running errands that would be tough for me to do with the 3 of them) and I suppose when it comes to washing and ironing, although I moan about it I do prefer to do it myself (bit of a control freak!).

I don't mind doing most of the housework ordinarily cos I'm 'at home' with the kids but when I've got work on, that's when it annoys me because then none of the housework gets done and it just piles up till my work is finished. I don't even mind that so much but if I ask him to take the kids to Tesco, something I'd do myself, I'd expect him to just get on with it. Yes it's a pain in the butt, but it's only the same as I do when he's at work. Same as he'd take ds1 and ds2 to the park but can't understand how he could possibly take ds3 as well - you know, like I do!!

Just feeling peed off today cos I've got so much to do for work and for next weekend..

JoolsToo Sun 17-Apr-05 13:00:23

well shurrup and gerron wivit then instead of coming on here

Gobbledigook Sun 17-Apr-05 13:02:43

Would you rather and rang you and blurted on for half an hour instead? Needed to feel better as he's wound me up!

MarsLady Sun 17-Apr-05 13:05:57

gooblediegook... without meaning to sound flippant....I feel your pain. I asked the children to do their chores this morning and DH to put a couple of things in the bin and the worst strop came from DH. GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

Anyway, as Jools said.... get on with your work honey cos there'll be something else that he can't cope with in a minute. Oh and I thoroughly recommend the going away for a weekend with DH and kids it buys you a couple of months of helpfulness, by which time it is time to go away again. Trust me

Mirage Sun 17-Apr-05 21:25:11


I was out doing the shopping this morning,whilst DH stayed at home with DD.When I got home at 1.30pm,all the breakfast & lunch pots were scattered around the kitchen,DD was asleep & had been since 12pm,DH was lying on the sofa watching sport & reading the paper.Then he casually mentioned that the people who are buying our house had rung to say that they'd like to call around tomorrow to do some measuring up & take some photo's- DH told them that I'd ring them back to arrange the best time.

Of course,the house looked like a tip,I did 3 loads of washing & ironing,cleaned the oven & kitchen,& generally ran around like a headless chicken whilst he sat there complaining that he was tired.He bathed dd & picked up some of her toys & that was it .

I was cleaning the bathroom at 8pm & dh wandered in asking why I was cleaning the toilet!!!!!!!!!!???????????? I then made the beds & put all the clean washing away whilst he moaned about how exhausted he was.I felt like reminding him that I am 33 wks pregnant & had clkeaned the whole house in 1 afternoon-so I should be the one lying on the sofa!

I'm going off to bed to sulk now.

marthamoo Sun 17-Apr-05 21:28:29

Oh Lord, don't even get me started...

I was in the bath once and the phone was ringing and ringing and ringing. When I got out I asked who it was and dh snapped "how should I know? I'm looking after the kids - how do you expect me to answer the phone?"

Give me strength...

Gobbledigook Sun 17-Apr-05 21:30:33

- they are all terrible!

Mind you, I think dh knew he'd been out of order as he played games with the kids all afternoon while I worked and cooked a Sunday lunch. He then bathed the kids, got them ready for bed and put them to bed and I know he hates bathtime so I know he was feeling a bit guilty!

Ahhh - he'll get more comeback tomorrow as he's off for his appt about 'the snip'

Gobbledigook Sun 17-Apr-05 21:30:52

That is, he cooked the Sunday lunch, not me!

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