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sectaranism (sp)

(19 Posts)
starshaker Fri 15-Apr-05 22:44:54

not sure what to do about dp he is a very strong rangers fan and makes comments that i really dont like about celtic fans catholics and basically any1 else that doesnt support rangers. this is the way he has been brought up but it really gets to me i like rangers 2 but it doesnt mean i hate every1 else. the thing that worries me most is we have a baby due any day now and i dont want her to grow up thinking its ok any ideas what i should do

starshaker Fri 15-Apr-05 22:50:40

any1 got any advice

zebraX Fri 15-Apr-05 23:00:04

Sounds like he won't change overnight. Would he be open to you discussing with him how you feel, that whatever his feelings you don't want him to say certain types of things in front of the child? Like... 4-letter words, what he really thinks about your mother, and what he really thinks about Celtic fans?

starshaker Fri 15-Apr-05 23:02:51

i feel like im nagging him cos i say he better not swear or do this or that in front of the baby when she gets here

bubble99 Fri 15-Apr-05 23:09:03

That's not nagging, that's called being responsible. With a tiny baby the volume and tone of words are the most important things. Swearing won't really become an issue until she's slightly older. Break him in gently. He's got to get used to being a parent too and it is a big change. Hopefully when he sees her he'll feel so protective that he won't want any negative stuff around her anyway.

zebraX Fri 15-Apr-05 23:12:04

Yeah, but if Starshaker doesn't start now coaxing him into the idea of being a role model, giving the right example of behaviour, he may not be up to speed by the time the baby is 2-3 and starting to repeat what she/he hears.

I was just thinking if you don't pick on the sectarianism issue direclty, but put it in context of how you both need to try to be the best parents (setting a good example), that might work best.

bubble99 Fri 15-Apr-05 23:17:21

Coaxing is the word zebraX. If starshaker can, as you say, discuss generally the whole role modelling issue she can avoid being seen as a nag, which will probably have a negative effect.

soapbox Fri 15-Apr-05 23:23:39

If my experience of the west coast of Scotland is typical then I would say you have an uphill struggle ahead!

I found sectarianism too polite a word really for some of the abysmal behaviour that takes place.

I think you are quite right to raise this with your DP - it is unacceptable in any shape or form and you both need to work at it to break the cycle. The last thing this planet needs is another young bigot in training so well done for sticking your neck out

starshaker Sat 16-Apr-05 01:13:48

thanx to every1 who posted. he just gets defensive and says its his belief and i try and explain that other people have different beliefs and how would he feel if in a few years time we get pulled into school cos bumps decided to hit some1 or have a go at some1 cos they liked a different football team

zebraX Sun 17-Apr-05 15:38:15

Could you at least get him to agree that his little child shouldn't say the same kind of things? That child can agree with him when they grow up, but the things he says/believes/feels shouldn't be repeated by a little child who won't know any better than to repeat what he says? If nothing else, for the child's own safety?

Else Maybe you'll just have to end up explaining to your child that what Daddy says is what he believes, but it's now what most people believe, you don't believe it either so you don't want your child to be saying those kinds of things.

Sorry if that's wooly, best I can think of at the moment!

zebraX Sun 17-Apr-05 15:38:40

oops, "now" = "not" in last post.

Aimsmum Sun 17-Apr-05 16:00:28

Message withdrawn

Aimsmum Sun 17-Apr-05 17:23:26

Message withdrawn

starshaker Mon 18-Apr-05 16:52:13

think ill gag dp when football is on and deal with the school thing when it happens

triceratops Mon 18-Apr-05 16:58:16

Do you know any catholics? It may be a good idea to make friends with a catholic mum. That way two kids won't grow up with these misconceptions. Easier said than done I know.

starshaker Mon 18-Apr-05 17:17:13

sound daft but i dont know if i know any its never really been something ive found out

triceratops Wed 20-Apr-05 09:55:44

you could try taking your child (when it is old enough) to a play group in a catholic church hall. I seem to be constantly talking to people about what church/mosque/temple they go to, but then I go to church so it seems natural that it shoud crop up.

sweetkitty Wed 20-Apr-05 10:23:14

I would describe myself as an athiest Celtic fan, I support Celtic as a football team nothing to do woth religion. Sure on match days we "hate" Rangers fans and love to get one over on them but that's like any other football rivallry.

One of the best things about being away from the West of Scotland is the lack of the Rangers/Celtic thing. I do think it's a minority nowadays that cause any sort of trouble. I agree with Aimsmum about the orange walks as well (being woken up at 8 in the morning due to them practising is not nice).

An Indian friend of mine once said there is very little racism in the West of Scotland as they don't care what colour your skin is just the colour of your scarf!

I would try to speak to you DH about it but you have a few years yet before she truly understands. Surely he doesn't want your DD to grow up chosing her friends on the basis of whether they have been baptised Catholic or not?

Pagan Wed 20-Apr-05 10:37:53

Sweetkitty your Indian friend issi right! Starshaker, you could try getting a copy of a TV programme that was on recently about sectarianism which showed both a Celtic fan and a Rangers fan who were in prison. They gave a frank account of why they thought the way they did, mainly because of their upbringing and family peer pressure. Perhaps your DP would understand where you are coming from if he sees it from another point of view.

Good luck. I hate sectarianism - it is the most hideous thing to watch.

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