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not sure what this would come under but its a rant anyway

(14 Posts)
starshaker Fri 15-Apr-05 14:54:24

ok ill start from the begining so it might be a long 1.

a wee while ago i was feeling a bit low and thought my dp was hiding something from me so being paranoid i looked at his phone. there was a few messages from my best mate (yeah right) they said she had feelings for him and loads of other things anyway thats not really the point. i told her the friendship was over which was fine and didnt hear from her for over a month.

a few days ago i got a text from her telling me her wee sister had just had her baby a lovely wee girl. i was happy to know but didnt text her back as i knew what would happen. i then found out by another text the baby was not very well and was in intensive care. this didnt surprise me as i knew babys mum had been drinking a lot and taking drugs throughout her pregnancy (i tried warning her but she wouldnt listen) again i still didnt reply but i did try and phone the hospital and speak to babys mum but could never get hold of her.

today my dp got a message saying that baby had been rushed to yorkhill which is the sick kids hosp in glasgow and that she couldnt breathe or eat on her own. still i refuse to text my ex mate so phoned yorkhill to speak to babys mum and was told she hadnt been there for 3 days. (this is where i start to really rant) who on earth leaves there baby in a hospital for 3 bloody days without visiting to see if shes ok. the hosp provides beds for the parents so that the baby doesnt need to be left. i just feel so sorry for the baby and i cant even find out how the baby is cos they wont tell me anything cos im not a relative. if i wasnt pg myself id drive up and go see the baby myself but im due today and think that driving for an hour would probably not be the best thing to do. sitting here in tears at how some1 could be like this with there baby.

sorry if u fell asleep during that but i just needed to get it out my head.

does any1 who got this far have any ideas to what i could do

kid Fri 15-Apr-05 15:00:00

Could you text the baby's mum so you don't have to contact your ex-friend to find out how the baby is?
I wonder if the hospital will hand the baby over to the mum when the baby has recovered? Does she have any other children and do the hospital know about the mums history?

Newbarnsleygirl Fri 15-Apr-05 15:00:24

Can't you ring and pretend to be someone else?

I know it's naughty but at least you'll know. The only other thing to do is to call your XBF and explain that your only calling to see how the baby is. Probably an option you don't want to take and if I were you I would be rather hesitant not to call.

starshaker Fri 15-Apr-05 15:04:59

this is her only baby and i know this sounds really bad but if the baby pulls through i hope she doesnt go back to her mum as she is more interested in going out and getting drunk than her baby.

starshaker Fri 15-Apr-05 15:09:17

unfortunately i dont have her number or i would but i think i would have a few choice words for her at the moment so prob not the best thing to do might try and find out from another mate

kid Fri 15-Apr-05 15:11:16

did the hospital confirm that the baby was there? Just thought this could be an evil stunt from your ex-friend to pretend?

Aimsmum Fri 15-Apr-05 15:12:18

Message withdrawn

Blu Fri 15-Apr-05 15:12:43

Starshaker, is the baby's mum a friend of yours? I know this is all v sad and worrying, but you can't do anything anyway, can you? Do you know that the baby is actually in the hospital? If it is, they won't let you visit it, anyway, without the Mum's permission.

This is a horrible situation to think about, but I am sure the hospital will know the background circumstances, the poor little mite won't be very aware, and since you can't do anything to help unless the Mum asks you to, or lets you (and she isn't exactly falling over herself to contact you, is she) I think you should try to stay calm and concentrate on looking after your own pregnant self..

starshaker Fri 15-Apr-05 15:17:07

yeah the baby is def there and no real signs for me yet but getting niggles but might be cos this is getting to me. my dp says i shouldnt worry bout it as nothing i can do and i have enough to worry about with my own baby.

Dominoes Fri 15-Apr-05 15:32:58

Starshaker - what a horrible situation. Who knows why the mother hasn't been to see her lo. Could be that social services are involved now and the mother has 'gone to ground' or may be receiving treatment etc for herself? All kind of scenarios come to mind. It would make me want to rant too!

However, the main thing is that at this time, the baby is in the best possible place for her and getting good medical attention. She won't be aware that her mum's not there - poor little thing. Like Blu said, there's not a lot you can do at the moment TBH. Good luck with your own impending birth.

chipmonkey Fri 15-Apr-05 16:25:13

starshaker, try not to get involved. The poor little baba is being looked after, I'm sure, by lovely nurses and you don't know what the situation is with the mum, she may be having treatment herself for her drugs problems if the baby's problems are drug related. You're upset and emotional because you're pg yourself but this poor little mite is not your responsibility.

starshaker Sat 16-Apr-05 12:24:58

i just wish there was something i could do. babys mum has had such a hard life her mum and dad are both alcoholics and when she found out she was pg she was over the moon and swore she wouldnt be like her own parents. that didnt last long. i remember years ago when her amd her twin came to my mum and asked if she would adopt them as my mum had taken in my xbf. it broke my mums heart to say no but now she is kind of blaming herself for how the twins have turned out

starshaker Mon 27-Jun-05 08:57:07

hi resarecting this post as have another prob. today i got a message again from xbf saying that her wee sisters baby is in a bad way and is getting the machine switched off tommorow i really dont know what to do any advice

mogwai Mon 27-Jun-05 09:18:26

I think you should follow your heart. Is the friend texting you to give you chance to see the baby?

If you think this is the case, and you want to see her, I'd say go see her. You obviously may not have another chance to see her, need to weigh up how you feel and whether this would leave you more upset.

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