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To use married name or keep maiden name at work?

(28 Posts)
MrsFogi Fri 15-Apr-05 10:01:57

I've been married for a few years now and somehow just never got round to changing my name. However, I'm now changing my name on all my paper work and I'm trying to decide whether to continue to use my maiden name at work (Cherie Blair/Booth style)or to change it. Any views from anyone who has a work alias and out-of-work alias? One reason I'm hesitating is that I work with clients in central Europe quite a lot and my married name (which sounds fine in England) has a bit of a sexual meaning in one central European language - am I being silly?

oatcake Fri 15-Apr-05 10:04:49

You're not being silly...

I changed my name on marriage 12 years ago, despite my not wanting to change... but as it happens I'm reverting BACK to my maiden name for work when I qualify as a midwife, as I don't want to be known as Midwife Butcher!!!

Tommy Fri 15-Apr-05 10:05:46

I kept my name when I married but used my husband's name when I was working in one particular job (long story but didn't want to be asscociated with my Mum who was in a similar field)and to be honest, it just confused me! I've left that job now so am back to my name - which I use all the time and no-one has a problem with it except my DH's family who insist on using his name when referring to me.
I really don't see why people want to change their name when they get married anyway but that's a whole other thread (and I'm sure we've been there before). I think using one for work and one for home is perfectly usual these days!

aloha Fri 15-Apr-05 10:08:20

I use my married name for my personal life and my maiden name for my work life. In my personal life I like to have the same name as my children (not criticising anyone, just my personal preference) but my work name is part of my currency and I have built my reputation on it - I worked hard to be known by it. Also, I like having my dual identity - makes a real division between work life and private life in a way.

wordsmith Fri 15-Apr-05 10:15:37

I didn't INTEND to change my name for work but when I got back from honeymoon (only 3 days in the Lake District!) they had printed new business cards for me! Mind you my married name is the same as someone (now dead) in the public eye with a reputation for censoring things on TV, so they thought it was quite funny. Means people never forget me though but I still have comments about it and I've been married 15 years. It's so boring! Everyone expects me to have the same opinions as said person. At least it's not Maggie Thatcher.

Tommy Fri 15-Apr-05 10:54:42

Are you Mrs Whitehouse?

rosepetal Sat 16-Apr-05 00:34:29

I really don't understand why anyone changes their name when they marry. What is the point of doing this? Naming is a very powerful thing - why change the name you were born with? I've been married for 13 years and never used my married name - it's never caused me any problems. What is the motivation for using your husband's name?

vkone Sat 16-Apr-05 01:31:54

I changed mine (mostly cos I hate my maiden name, which in a paterarchal society is your father's name), BUT I also confused everyone because I have a "net name" which is my mother's. I used it at first to check whether I'd get junk mail and because it's unusual enough to get the username you want but it confuses the hell outof people when they contact me and ask my surname!

jabberwocky Sat 16-Apr-05 01:59:45

First marriage I hyphenated and thought it sounded quite nice. But, it was a bit of a drag with forms and computers because it was long and no one seemed to know whether to file it under the first letter of the first part or the last part. After divorce, went back to maiden name and swore that would be that. Then met ds who has a beautiful last name that sounds fab with my first name. So I have changed it all personal things but still use my maiden name at work. I do contract work and if I changed it, no one would know who I was on referrals!

jabberwocky Sat 16-Apr-05 02:00:04

oops, met to say me future dh

jabberwocky Sat 16-Apr-05 02:02:24

oh, good grief.

Meant to say met future dh.

There.

Mirage Sat 16-Apr-05 10:38:40

I wish I'd kept my maiden name for work.I am self employed & all my work is by referral.I also come from a family that is very well known & well respected in the area that I work in.

I have had quite a few conversations where I've given my name as Mrs X,& no one has been able to place me,but if I then say that before marriage I was Mirage YYYYYY,the person I'm talking to immediately knows who I am & where I come from ect.

We are moving back to where I come from shortly & I fear that dh is in for a shock.Because few people there know him & everyone knows me,he will end up being known as Mr Mirage,or Mr YYYY's son in law.I don't think dh has realised this yet.

HappyDaddy Sat 16-Apr-05 10:56:06

My dw has changed to her married name everywhere EXCEPT work. It's much easier for her not to change name at work. She's very well known in the firm but many wouldn't know her married name. Just easier for her.

wordsmith Sun 17-Apr-05 20:43:37

Sorry Tommy,. long break over weekend... but yes I am.

aloha Sun 17-Apr-05 20:49:41

Rosepetal, for me, personally, I like having a family name that I share with my children - and with my husband - but mainly with my children. And dh already has a child with his name (my stepdaughter) and I like it that all the children have the same name. It's just my preference. I think it's fine whatever anyone else does.

Frizbe Sun 17-Apr-05 20:56:20

I have changed my name for family purposes, but kept maiden name for work, as again like some of the above I have built my reputation using my name! One of the reasons I changed for family, is trying to travel with the rest of the kids, esp round usa, bloomin nighmare now, 1 x case for me and 2 x rest of family, they held one of the kids cases in one place because it accidently got tagged with my maiden surname and not the kids n hubbys surname.....I was also getting seated seperatly on the flights to the rest of the family, even tho I'm the bloomin mother, like my 17mth old dd was assigned a seat on her own on one flight!!!! so we had to do the please can we have a seat swap bicker when on the plane.........utter rubbish I tell you.

paolosgirl Sun 17-Apr-05 21:04:27

Married name for both. God, trying to remember who I was and where I was would just be too much for me! We've all got my maiden name as middle names, but we are a family - The ..... Gang we call ourselves, and we like it like that

highlander Sun 17-Apr-05 21:12:04

I haven't changed my name at all - why the f*ck should I ?? DH was a bit peeved, but saw my point when I told him to change his if he was that bothered about the whole 'same surname' thing. DS has my surname has his middle name.

Chandra Sun 17-Apr-05 21:18:10

I only decided to start using DH for NHS purposes, call me silly but I thought it was going to be easier to avoid errors on relating my medical history to him, but out of that I am Mrs Chandra. Curiously enough some people have started to refer to my DH as Mr. Chandra. I guess I should ask him to take my maiden surname to avid more confusions

paolosgirl Sun 17-Apr-05 21:18:33

Just noticed Oatcakes earlier post. The midwife who delivered ds was called Mary Hearse - not funny at all at the time.

Chandra Sun 17-Apr-05 21:24:18

DH's

Dannie Sun 17-Apr-05 22:05:30

I use my own name for work, not least cos i work with DH. I have a good CV and would be livid if anyone thought I had the job cos of him.
I use Mrs DH for school and NHS, which can cause mild chaos. Our surgery nurse recently renewed my yellow fever vaccination and when asked to make out the certificate in my own name to match my passport, she flew into a rage and said "Is that legal?". Most bizarre.
My best friend refers to Dh ironically as Mr Dannie. But I've never had any real problems having two names. I had to explain to the bank, but they now happily accept cheques made out to either name.

PotPourri Sun 17-Apr-05 22:07:07

I changed. Would have trouble remembering where I was called what. Must admit it has caused a few problems and I have lost some contacts as they just don't recognise that name. Fortunately my email still works with new or old name (good techie company I work for) so some people can still get in contact that way still. I chnaged everything in a oner as I really am quite dim and find it hard ot remember what day it is, never mind booking flights etc etc.

Rose, if the name means something rude, you are probably best to keep your maiden name for now. Jsut not worth the sniggering etc. But only do this is you are not as dippy as me.

PotPourri Sun 17-Apr-05 22:07:10

I changed. Would have trouble remembering where I was called what. Must admit it has caused a few problems and I have lost some contacts as they just don't recognise that name. Fortunately my email still works with new or old name (good techie company I work for) so some people can still get in contact that way still. I chnaged everything in a oner as I really am quite dim and find it hard ot remember what day it is, never mind booking flights etc etc.

Rose, if the name means something rude, you are probably best to keep your maiden name for now. Jsut not worth the sniggering etc. But only do this is you are not as dippy as me.

ladymuck Sun 17-Apr-05 22:10:58

Married at 25, and decided that I wasn't so well-known professionally that it was the right time to be able to make the change. I suppose I mix with a circle where you're making a statement if you don't change your name, unless there are obvious professional reasons for doing so.

10 years on my professional reputation is well established in my married name, and I can't imagine having had the hassle of having 2 names.

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