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how do you split household bills... urgent advice needed

(98 Posts)
connyflower Thu 14-Apr-05 09:48:25

going through a bit of a tough patch with dp at the moment about money, can you just let me know how you sort your money out! any ideas welcome! at the minute i think its unfair how we do it as hes always left with money at end of month for going out ... lads holidays even! and i dont have anything, in my opionion ...correct me if you think im wrong but i think when your living together in a reationship if one persons skint both are and vice versa if ive got extra cash i wouldnt see him staying in cos he had no cash! any advice welcome...please let e know how youz do it? im going to print this out to show dp

nailpolish Thu 14-Apr-05 09:50:51

here dh pays for all the bills, apart from the weekly shopping and childcare, which i pay for. it works out really well for us, i only work part time on a small wage and i get paid weekly, he earns FT money on a much better job

i think you would maybe be better with a one pot joint acc?

we have seperate, but only cos we cant be bothered changing

JoolsToo Thu 14-Apr-05 09:52:18

we have always had a joint bank account - the bills come out of there - makes life much easier imo!

Kelly1978 Thu 14-Apr-05 09:52:32

I think what you are saying is right. DP and myself don't have any set way of splitting bills, they come through and whoever has the money pays for them, and that goes for everything, like when we are out and want to buy things too. It really doesn't matter to us who pays, as it's all the same when we're in a realtionship anyhow. I pay when I've got money, and I don't have to worry about getting broke, as I know dp would help me out if I need it.

dyzzidi Thu 14-Apr-05 09:54:59

Well Dp pays mortgage and Insurance and I pay Council tax and gas electric, water and I buy most of the food although he will buy a hugh shop every now and then.

He does work away from home so thats why I buy shopping but when he is at home full time we go half on the food. He earns double what I earn and always pays for takouts, meals out etcf.

He also pays for all holidays but he does expect me to take spending money. On hols he pays for trips, food etc but I have to spend my money on things I want like clothes, duty free and gifts.

Bozza Thu 14-Apr-05 09:55:28

We're like JT. Everything comes into the joint a/c and everything goes out of it.

Davros Thu 14-Apr-05 09:57:49

We share everything too. Never even need to discuss it.

dyzzidi Thu 14-Apr-05 09:57:54

Sorry I got a bit indepth there and not sure if its any good for you. I think every couple is different and when kids are involved it must get more complicated.

Good luck

Caligula Thu 14-Apr-05 10:02:06

Where kids are involved it's even easier. Everything split 50 50, that's what partnership means.

When I was with ex, we had a joint account into which all money went in and out. (This system only works if both partners are responsible and honest with money, but that's another story!)

vickiyumyum Thu 14-Apr-05 10:04:12

we have a joint account that everything goes into and out of and whatevers left over is shared. this is the theory any way. but tin reality dh likes to have a set amount each week with which to buy cigarettes, go to the pub and for his and ds1 karate club, so i give him £120 cash a week, because this is how he prefers it! i don't mind because it leaves me with a lot more to save/spend e.g don't have to worry when the kids need new shoes or the washing machine is knackered!plus i'm better at making sure direct debits have gone out, cheques have been sent etc.
i have friends that are in the same situation as you connyflower and i think that it is incredibly unfair that one has so much more money than the other (she earns £6000 p.a and he earns £100k+ p.a )the house is in his name and all the gas, electric etc but he expects her to do the food shopping, pay for the cats vet bills, pay for her own car (even though he brought it for her!)and she only gets £500 a month.

connyflower Thu 14-Apr-05 10:05:49

thanks for replys i just get so annoyed sometimes i earn quite good money and i'm prepared to put everything in if need be! i hate the whole hal;fs thing like you owe me money from shopping from meal out last week it drives me crazy! also he gets a lot of overtime and guvy jobs which would help us lots in house and just to overall have a better quaility of life TOGETHER but he sees his overtime money and guvy job money as his pocket money! if i work overtime ( which i dont get chance v often) i woulndt dram of just keeping it for me id hope it would benifit us both, please tell me if you think im selfish cos he does! is it me.............

Caligula Thu 14-Apr-05 10:06:41

CF, do you have children? Are you married? How long have you been living with DP?

kid Thu 14-Apr-05 10:07:48

DH pays rent and council tax each month. He also pays the loan we had for the car. All of the other bills are paid by whoever has the money. WE just share our money, even though he earns lots more than me (suits me fine!)

Davros Thu 14-Apr-05 10:09:09

But we don't split 50:50, its 100% shared iyswim

Chuffed Thu 14-Apr-05 10:09:47

We do joint account but I think the first place to start for you guys would be working out all the outgoings in a spreadsheet or something which are things you both should be sharing, everything like outings for the kids during the day, their clothes food etc that you might end up putting out for without thinking.
Once that's done it might be easier to split out the costs evenly and hopefully it'll leave you with a bit of spare money.

beachyhead Thu 14-Apr-05 10:10:24

We put 50% of take home pay in the joint account and pay bills etc out of there.......

When bills go up we put in 60% or 70%....

We are not religious about it and we always end up spending for joint things out of our sole accounts as well, but it seems to work out OK.

bossykate Thu 14-Apr-05 10:15:27

we total up the major household bills and split them in proportion to net income. other household items are split on a case by case basis. we have separate bank a/cs and both work.

Trinab75 Thu 14-Apr-05 10:16:36

My O.H pay's the monthly expenses such as household bill's, car insurance, and a relatively small mortgage and I pay for weekly expenses such as food shopping, Jack's clothes, dinner money, childcare, etc.

And we both help each other out if the other is skint.

expatinscotland Thu 14-Apr-05 10:17:06

Everything goes in a joint account. We're a partnership. There's no 'my money' and 'your money', just 'our money'.

Gizmo Thu 14-Apr-05 10:18:32

I think Chuffed's idea about working out a budget is a good one: making a list of what you are jointly responsible for paying could be a unconfrontational way of sorting out your finances.

FWIW, we are a two income family. We share all household bills, childcare bills and grocery bills which are paid from a joint account. We both pay into the joint account in proportion to our salaries (so DH contributes 60%, me 40%). This leaves both of us with some fun money and money for personal savings etc.

iota Thu 14-Apr-05 10:23:08

when I was working we used to do the same as Gizmo. Now I'm SAHM so we all spend dh's salary

Gobbledigook Thu 14-Apr-05 10:25:37

I'm afraid I think this is a very odd way to work your money tbh - particularly if you are married. I think a joint account where everything goes into one pot and everything comes out of one pot is the easiest way to do it - I can't get my head round the separate funds thing at all.

bossykate Thu 14-Apr-05 10:27:50

well gdg i think it's odd not to have your own money in your own bank a/c if you WOH.

wild Thu 14-Apr-05 10:29:07

I'm like nailpolish
However don't think there are rights or wrongs here, it's what works for you
Sounds like present arrangement doesn't work tho

iota Thu 14-Apr-05 10:29:28

GDGK - was your post about my comment or Connyflower's original one?

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