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Why do some/so many women feel uncomfortable with other naked women?

(59 Posts)
Habbibu Sat 21-Feb-09 14:52:07

Bit of a spin-off from the blowdrying thread, which was funny, so I didn't want to drag it down with this. However, many of the posts were a bit dispiriting - lots of discomfort in the presence of naked women, lots of disparaging comments about other women's bodies and grooming.

I'm hardly a parading naturist, but I'm happy enough being naked and around naked women - not v. interested in beaking about, tbh, but happy to chat while drying off (with a towel...), and I really don't get why women are so squeamish about this. And in an age where so many women are said to have poor self-image about their bodies, do we really help each other with this attitude? Where does it come from? Why such nerviness about what's essentially just skin, and nothing particularly exciting?

HecateQueenOfGhosts Sat 21-Feb-09 14:54:01

I don't feel uncomfortable seeing other women naked.

I feel ashamed of my own body, so wouldn't go naked in front of women, but tbh, (I really should stop being honest on here. blush) I find the female body rather attractive and am normally quite jealous of a nice one.

Habbibu Sat 21-Feb-09 14:57:17

Oh, hecate, that's very sad that you feel ashamed of your body. In some ways I think I'm lucky - I got guttate psoriasis when I was about 16 (red patches over lots of my body, varying in size between 5-10p coin), and realised that so long as people were looking at that, they weren't paying attention to what size my thighs were, so it was quite liberating and, bizarrely, left me with a good body image.

I think other women's bodies are interesting - just all so different. I just don't reckon anyone else (apart from dh!) particularly cares what mine's like.

BitOfFun Sat 21-Feb-09 15:02:51

Im the original prancing nudie, me, normally, but i've felt crap about my body for months because of how bad my psoriasis has got. I've put loads of weight on too, but that's because I have been drinking like Father Jack just to be able to keep a sex-life going without weeping about my skin sad. Still, i'm starting some big-guns drug therapy next week, have started exercising and stayed off the wine for a few nights this week, so I'm feeling more hopeful about it.

Other women naked are no problem at all to me, whatever their body looks like, but I won't be inflicting mine on anyone again anytime soon. If I get better, I am going to try and remember what I felt like now and give myself a severe talking to whenever I whinge about little things like a spot on my bum smile

KerryMumbles Sat 21-Feb-09 15:04:01

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BitOfFun Sat 21-Feb-09 15:05:06

Ha! Interesting crossposts! Mine only got bad this year, before that I kind of made a living from nude modelling for artists, so for me it has wrecked my confidence.

Habbibu Sat 21-Feb-09 15:06:50

BOF - I really really don't think you'd be "inflicting" your body on anyone. I do know that I'm lucky in that my psorasis has never been so bad as to need drug therapy, and I'm sorry that yours is so bad atm - must be sore too. (Will you be having PUVA? I had that once and had a v. foxy NHS suntan. I did prance a bit then).

But also a severe skin condition is relatively unusual - the comments on the other thread were just about women in general being naked, and how they should cover up, and I just don't get that. Why?

Habbibu Sat 21-Feb-09 15:08:16

x-posts BOF! Mine is relatively mild, if wide-spread, and I think getting it at 16 was a bonus - never really had perfect teenage/twenties skin to miss!

BCNS Sat 21-Feb-09 15:10:24

Oh I'm a happy in the nud person.. and bodies are bodies ( unless male and very hot) .. but then I'm used to working with nude models.. < waves at BoF .. when your feeling up to it.. I'm always on the look out for experienced models>

Habbibu Sat 21-Feb-09 15:13:17

Right. Where are all the people from the Other Thread? This is all far too sensible.

BitOfFun Sat 21-Feb-09 15:13:37

I do find that sunbeds help when it's mild, but it's diminishing returns when it's this bad...anyway, I have moles too, plus I do hate to conform to the Scouse Tango stereotype grin

I know this skin stuff is a bit off-topic, but it's oddly comforting to think I'm not alone, so thanks for the boost!

MrsMattie Sat 21-Feb-09 15:14:15

I feel a bit uncomfy being naked around anyone, really. I'm not uncomfortable with other women being naked around me, though. That sounds weird grin. I just mean, I have no probs with naked women in the changing room etc and I have friends who are much more comfortable with their own bodies and will change in front of me or I will chat to them when they're in the bath when I'm at their house, for instance. I think it's a really lovely, healthy way to be and I wish I didn't have so many hang ups about my own body, to be honest.

shonaspurtle Sat 21-Feb-09 15:14:27

One of the most liberating experiences of my life was when I first did sport at University and all the women in the changing rooms walked about/showered naked.

I'd never seen so many different shapes & sizes of female body before, and whatever their lumps and bumps they were all comfortable in their own skin.

It also made me realise that people who I thought looked amazing dressed had perfectly normally "flawed" bodies underneath. I felt way better about my own body after that.

Interestingly enough, when I played rugby for a while, one girl wore her underwear in the shower (for whatever reason, her own business) and it made her really stand out. Noone bothered looking at anyone else because nakedness was normal in that situation.

BitOfFun Sat 21-Feb-09 15:15:53

I hope I can again one day BCNS! Although since I met my DP I haven't modelled for other artists, as sessions with him are somehow so enjoyable grinwink

Habbibu Sat 21-Feb-09 15:16:43

<narrows eyes at BOF> I'm Scouse, I'll have you know. The PUVA thing was great, actually - cleared it up for much longer than anything else did, and it's carefully managed. I guess they'd take moles into consideration if they were giving you PUVA treatment. Might be worth asking, anyway. Although it's a faff to get to hospital, wait, strip and get dressed again all for 6 whole seconds of treatment.

YeahBut Sat 21-Feb-09 15:17:18

Not that bothered myself, but I agree that lots of women do seem uncomfortable with the nakedness of others. I've always put it down to a lack of self-confidence about their own bodies and a bit of prudism too - nakedness = sexuality = sin/wrong.

BitOfFun Sat 21-Feb-09 15:21:15

Funny when you mention chatting to other women in the bath btw, I had the weirdest first meeting with my DP's ex ever...we were babysitting for her (away for a weekend with new boyf), my DP was chatting to me in the bath in her house, and she came home early, breezed in and batted not an eyelid. She told me all about her hassle on the motorway and asked if I wanted a glass of wine! I was a bit hmm really, but I suppose it could have gone a lot worse grin

BCNS Sat 21-Feb-09 15:23:42

LOL.. off subjsct a little.. there has been a higher demand for couples wanting nudes done of them together.. which is a very cool thing. but I leave what happens after out of my mind!!

cornsilk Sat 21-Feb-09 15:28:27

Are you a photographer BCNS?

BCNS Sat 21-Feb-09 15:30:02

no fine artist ( mostly portraits although happy to do nudes )

cornsilk Sat 21-Feb-09 15:35:02

ooooh (impressed)

BCNS Sat 21-Feb-09 15:36:15

oh don't be impressed.. BoFs DP's work is fantastic!! ( wants to be that good when I grow up!! )

cornsilk Sat 21-Feb-09 15:38:05

Yes I've had a peek at that already!

BitOfFun Sat 21-Feb-09 15:48:02

smile Have you got a link on your profile BCNS? I've seen your work already, it's great!

BCNS Sat 21-Feb-09 15:49:57

Nooooo.. LOL.. MN and work is seperate.. and It would out me too lol

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