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Does anyone else get overly annoyed when people cancel things?

(24 Posts)
jane313 Sun 10-Apr-05 18:43:40

I mean at the last minute with rubbish excuses? Or having said they would come then saying something came up? I don't mean even just ordinary evenings/days out but more special occasion type things. Its seems to have happened to me loads recently and I find it quite upsetting as some times its really thoughtless. Its making me really re-evaluate some of my friendships. I just wanted to moan really and I think my husband is getting bored of it!

jane313 Sun 10-Apr-05 19:23:55

no-one? Oh well glad I'm not inviting you lot to anything, you might cancel!

dejags Sun 10-Apr-05 19:29:11

it really pisses me off to jane. we recently invited one of DS1's schoolfriends and his family to a bbq (we live in South Africa if you are wondering about the sanity of a March bbq). Anyway I went to a lot of trouble getting things in, the house tidied etc. They were due at 1pm, at 2.30pm I called her, she apologised that they were running late and promised they were on their way. At 4.30pm she called to say her in-laws had pitched up and they couldn't tell them to go so they weren't coming. I was absolutely FURIOUS!

dejags Sun 10-Apr-05 19:29:34

that would be "too" not to

jane313 Sun 10-Apr-05 19:34:42

ooh that would be really annoying almost there! I had 2 friends cancel an hour before a birthday do with illnesses and if they were that ill why couldn't they have called earlier?

Tanzie Sun 10-Apr-05 19:38:37

Yes. I had a big party for my 40th and several people cancelled on the day with really pathetic excuses or just didn't bother turning up. We were paying GBP 25 a head for the caterers so could have saved ourselves around GBP 200 if they had said earlier they wouldn't be coming.

jane313 Sun 10-Apr-05 22:04:39

thats my fear, I am having a sort of post wedding party and 2 people have cancelled recently and I still have time to confirm numbers with the caterers but am worried about the last minute cancellers. I gave people five months notice ffs. One person cancelled saying something unexpected came up! if it was something serious surely she would have given more details. it makes me so mad.

singyswife Sun 10-Apr-05 22:08:21

Hi This makes me really mad too. What also really makes me mad is when you have everything ready for say 12pm and the people you have invited don't turn up til 3 or 4. This drives me mad. Really really mad. . You are not alone. I would be there on time for you!!!!!!

jane313 Sun 10-Apr-05 22:10:52

Thats almost worse. Waiting for someone to arrive is awful. Its almost like your life is on hold and you are just stuck in waiting hell,

Aniles Sun 10-Apr-05 22:14:22

I could've written that post myself Jane. I get really fed up with people cancelling arrangements at a moments notice without good reason, so much so that I've recently let a couple of friendships drift because of it. I feel that they can't think as much of the friendship as I do and so I've made less effort to be friends.

singyswife Sun 10-Apr-05 22:14:59

I'm sure your party will go fine. I panicked about no one coming to my wedding reception and the hall was actually quite full. The crazy thing is, we don't know that many people.

Pruni Sun 10-Apr-05 22:17:51

Message withdrawn

singyswife Sun 10-Apr-05 22:20:09

Well said!!

colditzmum Sun 10-Apr-05 22:22:54

I have given up waiting for certain people to turn up. I just tell them, in my brutally honest way, that if they are not there and have not called within 20 minutes of the arranged time, I will go without them, as my time is too precious to be wasted.

God, that sounds so bad when I see it in black and white!!!

Most of my friends don't have children though, and I feel that if I can maneovre a truculent toddler out of the door, with pushchair, nappybag and spare clothes, they can run a brush through their hair and find their damn purse!!

Lack of commitment to arrangements drives me nuts! People who don't have children do not understand the sheer effort you have put in to get to a certain place at a certain time, or how precious a night out is to you.

When you have managed to arrange a night out with the girls, when your bloke is at work, having wheedled your mum into babysitting, juggled the DD payments so you can afford it, booked a taxi home, managed to find and iron your only flattering top, applied makeup to your face for the first time since Christmas and rammed your protesting feet into high heels, the last, the very last thing you want is a phone call saying that said girly friend is a bit tired from work, and wants to go horse riding tomorrow, so thinks she'll have an early night.

Long sarcastic rant I know, but this exact thing has reduced me to tears on several occasions!

jane313 Sun 10-Apr-05 22:23:54

HALF of the "friends" due to come to my hen night cancelled, a couple not even directly but through others that were coming. I think I am going to get myself some less flakey friends. The thing is I wasn't even that keen on having a do either. aaagh ( I think I need more wine)

jane313 Sun 10-Apr-05 22:26:03

god I know how you feel colditzmum. A few friends have cancelled at the last minute on me cos of colds, being a bit tired, having to see their mums (who they see five times a week anyway) and because of a bit of snow.

colditzmum Sun 10-Apr-05 22:28:57

Don't you feel like screaming down the phone at them?

But I bet you're always polite. Disappointed, but polite!

jane313 Sun 10-Apr-05 22:31:41

yes, why is that? I think the nice reliable people of the world should turn nasty soon. My bitter petty revenge at the moment is not sending one of the cancellees a birtday card (after almost 30 years of sending them) and vowing not to go to anothers hen night if she has one. I am very sad

colditzmum Sun 10-Apr-05 22:33:56

I am quite sad too. I once didn't speak to someone for 2 months, because she cancelled on me.

She didn't notice.

jane313 Sun 10-Apr-05 22:36:10

that made me laugh

I defriended a couple of friends who got so unreliable. I never heard from them again. It was sort of a millenium clear out. I wonder if they ever think of me? Or if its only me who is so bitter and twisted!

Earlybird Sun 10-Apr-05 22:42:57

colditzmum and jane313 - don't think the problem is with either of you. Those friendships probably existed solely because of the time and energy you poured into them. When you stopped trying, the friendships ended, which is a hard, but valuable lesson to learn. I know that it has happened to me in the past. I am know trying to build some friendships that are not so one-sided, and hope to use my emotional energy in a more satisfying/rewarding way in the future.

colditzmum Sun 10-Apr-05 22:45:30

Oh, I love that term, "defriended". A bit like de-fleaing a cat.

I think you have a point though, you get to a certain stage in some friendships when you realise that you are the only one doing any maintainence to it. The only friend I have who always ring, turns up on time, without fail, is a mum.

Of course!!!

jane313 Sun 10-Apr-05 22:47:24

Yes thats true I think after all this wedding palaver is over there will be some people I will make no effort with or not go out of my way for. (One of the cancellees said I should drop by to visit her in the summer, hmm ...yes no effort on her part) I may be moving out of the area soonish and have decided to have a very very small leaving do as I can't stand being let down again

breeze Mon 11-Apr-05 08:08:06

Hi, My best friend does that all the time, it used to really annoy me and we had endless arguments about it. We've been friends for over 20 years so its no a friendship I would easily give up. It wasn't so much that she cancelled if was the excuses she used, it was always dramatic, her DD couldn't be sick, she had to be sick in every room of the house and then as she was clearing it up she banged her and head and feels a little faint etc etc.

Some people are just fickle, personally when I make an arrangement, I like to stick to it, and it annoys me when people cancel last minute.

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