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Been duped by my closest friend :(

(41 Posts)
BadgerBadger Sat 09-Apr-05 18:13:41

At her DD's birthday party, she also did food for the adults. She filled my plate as I was feeding DD2 at the time. There was some curry, I asked her what it was and she said lamb.

After the meal I overheard her telling others that it was goat, adding "Don't tell 'Badger' because she doesn't eat it."

I confronted her immediately as I've made it perfectly clear over the years that we've been friends that I don't ever wish to eat goat. She did apologise, also said but then added - if you've still got a problem, leave.

Which I did. Her apology was flippant and I'm hurt that she lied, then amused herself by admitting so to others there. So left slightly early, to sympathetic words from others who'd clocked all this.

How would you feel?

WideWebWitch Sat 09-Apr-05 18:15:56

She's a bit strange, I mean, where's the kick in getting someone to eat something you know will horrify them? Why not just tell them and let them not eat it? Hmm, not much of a friend imo. None of my friends would dream of doing this to me or, if they did, we wouldn't be friends for long. It's such a strange and inexplicable thing to do!

BubblesDeVere Sat 09-Apr-05 18:19:14

I agree with www, what a weird thing to do, how long have you been friends with her?

I personally think that this is a friend who cannot be trusted if she can do things like this and you deserve better friends.

RTMTMML Sat 09-Apr-05 18:20:41

badger it may well have been mutton as goat isn't always easy to get hold of. That said it was a bit off of her to dismiss you like that. I can only hope it was embarrassment on her behalf and she apologises profoundly and profusely! I have often gotten friends to taste goat curry by not quite telling them what it was because I knew that their objection was fear of the unknown, but if I knew that they had a really strong objection I wouldn't do it.

<<probably get slaughtered (pardon the pun) for my sneaky tactics now. Ah well........>>

BubblesDeVere Sat 09-Apr-05 18:30:04

RTMTMML, i think what you said there was what all this is about, you have done it too, but, your friends just didn't like the idea, maybe they can't get round the goats frolicking idea, bit like me with lamb.

But, Badgers friend KNOWS she doesn't want to eat it for whatever reason and still did it.

What you did nothing like what badgers so called friend did

RTMTMML Sat 09-Apr-05 18:32:41

You should have heard my sister. She was in Jamaica and watched a goat in the yard. That evening she had the most tender curry that she'd ever eaten. It was the goat. lol. Sorry, it tickles me and I know that DD2 would be outraged if I said it out loud!

stitch Sat 09-Apr-05 18:33:10

upset, miserable, depressed, worthless.
but i hope that after going through all that i would realise that obviously she isnt that good a friend. just an aquaintance, and not a very nice person at that.

BubblesDeVere Sat 09-Apr-05 18:34:29

LOL,RTMTMML, that is terrible

but it brought a grin to my miserbable face

juniperdewdrop Sat 09-Apr-05 18:36:32

Awwwww how sneaky No I would never dream of doing that, she's having a laugh at your expense IMO.

If she's a really good friend normally though maybe you could forgive as long as she apologises?

juniperdewdrop Sat 09-Apr-05 18:38:10

RTMTMML, that reminds me of my SIl once stroking a rabbit at her grandads then they had it in a pie Never heard of anyone killing a rabbit in their back yard b4? Strange man methinks.

BadgerBadger Sat 09-Apr-05 18:38:59

We've been friends for nearly 3 years, it was definitely goat, RTMTMML. Her husband moved here from Jamaica, they often eat it which is how the opportunity came up so regularly for me to make my feelings clear - which I did!

Although my stomach is churning now, I thinks it's the lack of trust that's upset me as much as anything

RTMTMML Sat 09-Apr-05 18:40:38

I know it's about the lack of trust darling. I was trying to see the other side, but I don't discount how you feel for a minute. I think you need to talk to her about how you feel. I'm hoping that she will apologise and it's something that you can put behind you.

I'm sorry that she hurt you!

BubblesDeVere Sat 09-Apr-05 18:43:13

What i also think is a terrible thing to do is the fact that she was telling other people not to tell you.

That is really childish and immature, i hope you can sort this out, you deserve, at the very least a profuse apology.

Don't forget to let us know how you get on.

Freckle Sat 09-Apr-05 18:50:19

What an awful thing to do. Not only to give you something that she knew you objected to eating without telling you, but to then make fun of you about it behind your back suggests that she has a lot of growing up to do and obviously cannot be trusted as a friend.

I can't imagine any of my friends doing this. Some even keep different coffee because they know I support the Nestle boycott (although I would drink it at someone else's house - or have tea! - just don't buy it myself).

BubblesDeVere Sat 09-Apr-05 18:51:38

Freckle, errrrrr, what is the nestle boycott all about?

secretregular Sat 09-Apr-05 18:56:28

do you know what it sounds like to me? like the fact you have told her you don't want to eat goat has been annoying her for ages and she's used this opportunity to "get one up" on you as it were. Its just inexplicable otherwise. Any normal human being wouldn't have such disrespect for another otherwise. I think its been annoying her for ages and her attitude when you confronted her reveals this too. She's a stupid cow and you should blank her until she sees the error of her ways but be prepared she might not do that for a while.

WideWebWitch Sat 09-Apr-05 18:57:14

Bubbles, look at babymilkaction website for an explanation, hang on

WideWebWitch Sat 09-Apr-05 18:57:38


Socci Sat 09-Apr-05 19:02:09

Message withdrawn

BadgerBadger Sat 09-Apr-05 19:04:00

Thanks so much for your advice.

I've received an apology by text from her, which in fact is preferable to me than a call ATM, as I'm still fuming!

I'll have to have a think about this as it's not a relationship that I want to have to throw away, on the other hand I think I'm going to have a reasessment of our friendship, IYSWIM. Definitely a period of adjustment in order!

DD1 and DD2 opened their party bags. DD1 is 3, but DD2 is 7 months and hers is full of rattles and organic snacks (I'm all organic - friend isn't). This is the sort of friend she usually is.......
how confusing!

BadgerBadger Sat 09-Apr-05 19:05:12

RTMTMML, thanks for your lovely message .

Blossomhill Sat 09-Apr-05 19:05:57

I would be furious
I am really funny about what meat I eat and my pet hate is lamb, if anyone duped me into eating that god knows how I would react!!!
You poor thing. She doesn't sound like a very good friend. Infact without going too overboard she sounds liek a complete bitch!

JanH Sat 09-Apr-05 19:08:04

Did she know you would hear her telling the others, BB? Could it possibly have not been goat after all and the whole thing was meant to be a joke but backfired?

juniperdewdrop Sat 09-Apr-05 19:08:36

Yes badger she sounds mostly thoughtful so I hope she is feeling really bad now.

At least you'll be on your guard from now on. Do you see much of her?

nikcola Sat 09-Apr-05 19:14:31

dp was at wok one day and the lads got a chinease for lunch they offered some to dp saying it was chicken (dp is muslim and doesnt eat pork) after he ate at the lads stated saying to him "how does it feel to eat pork" the bastards

tbh she doesnt sound like a good friend, if she wants forgiving she has to do better than a text meaasge

{{{{{{{{{{{}}}}}}}}}}}}} sorry you have been hurt like this

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