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Alcoholic mum to be - should I tell someone?

(18 Posts)
pinotgrigio Fri 08-Apr-05 17:27:56

My stepson is working in a pub during his year out, and there is a pg (about 8 months now) regular who comes in every night, drinks 10 pints and has 2 packets of cigarettes. She sits inside while her two other children shiver in the beer garden in their school uniform with no dinner. I can't help but be concerned about them and the new baby. I just don't know what to do - should I phone social services? Would they take the baby and children away? She definitely needs some help, but I don't want her to lose her family (I've chatted with the kids and they seem very happy - although perhaps they don't know any other life). What would you do? Advice please!!!

dinosaur Fri 08-Apr-05 17:29:15

10 pints!!!!! oh my god!!!!!

katierocket Fri 08-Apr-05 17:30:04

hmmm, not sure but SS would definitely not just take the children away (unless they were in immediate danger which it sounds like they're not).

pinotgrigio Fri 08-Apr-05 20:18:41

So what would SS do if I contacted them? I really don't want to be an interfering old biddy here. Talking as the daughter of an alcoholic, I know how difficult this is. Should I just leave well alone? But if I do that am I just guilty of not wanting to get involved?

motherinferior Fri 08-Apr-05 20:21:08

Why don't you ring one of the various alcohol advice lines and ask them what they think? Would that be a good route to take?

popadopalis Fri 08-Apr-05 20:25:00

I personally think you should ring SS. You can annonymously if you don't want to give your name or whatever. I work with child protection cases and this really concerns me even though I don't know the woman. If they aren't in danger then SS won't take it further but if they are then SS can protect those children. This is just my personal opinion though.

dinosaur Mon 11-Apr-05 16:32:19

Any news on this pinotgritio? Have you decided whether to do anything or not?

LeahE Mon 11-Apr-05 16:37:26

You could call the NSPCC if you don't want to call SS at this stage.

Dahlia Mon 11-Apr-05 16:41:13

I think you should definitely tell someone. It makes my blood boil to think of the kids sitting outside waiting for her, not to mention her baby. If it were me I would phone various helplines, childline, nspcc, whoever, and ask their advice first, but you MUST do something.

Marina Mon 11-Apr-05 16:45:44

I would ring someone about this. Have you actually seen this woman in action? Do you know her at all? Her baby's life is at risk on 10 pints a night and her other children's existence doesn't sound too good.
I have to say I am surprised that the licensee has not taken some action on behalf of any of the children. If I ran a pub and saw small children in my garden in all weathers I don't think I could turn a blind eye.

FastasleepTheInsomniac Mon 11-Apr-05 16:49:03

If you're absolutely sure she's an alcoholic then please call someone - my mum's an alcoholic and although at first I didn't know any different I grew to hate it with her. She sounds like she needs help! You'd be doing a good thing.

dinosaur Mon 11-Apr-05 16:57:44

I'm amazed too. I mean, to drink 10 pints she would have to be there all evening (don't ask me how I know - but I don't do it when I've got the kids with me!).

dinosaur Mon 11-Apr-05 17:00:15

Maybe you should ask your stepson to have a word with his boss? Although I know they might just go to some other pub then...

Where I live you can't take children into a pub (even to sit in the beer garden) after about 8 p.m.

Miaou Mon 11-Apr-05 17:01:19

I would have thought that at that level of drinking the baby will be in danger of suffering from alcohol dependency too, to say nothing of the effect of the fags.

Pinot, you could ring the NSPCC without it being traceable back to you.

What's she planning to do after the baby's born fgs, leave it out in the beer garden with the other two???

huskygirl Mon 11-Apr-05 17:02:46

pinotgrigio, whilst you may feel bad for phoning social services, surely you'd feel a lot worse if anything happened to the children because you didn't phone?

noddyholder Mon 11-Apr-05 17:03:49

check your son isn't exagerating and then report her it is so cruel to those other children in the garden

dropinthe Mon 11-Apr-05 17:36:30

Pinogrigio-have been trying to get hold of you for over a week-see my thread!

LexyB Wed 13-Apr-05 12:18:32

As a midwife I would advise you to inform SS in your area ( you should be able to do it anonymously ), although to be honest they may well be aware of her and the two children and the unborn baby are ( or probably have been in the past ) on the At Risk Register. As I work in the Community I have come accross situations similar to this before, and often people conceal their behaviour from the authorities. It would help SS if you can tell them what your DSS has seen. Is he willing to talk to them as well?

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