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Rude comments on child physical appearance

(64 Posts)
tiffah Wed 16-Mar-05 02:05:13

hello there,

does anyone out there have this problem where people questions whether your child is a girl or a boy? My 32-month- old looked exactly like her daddy and has really curly hair..as the result her hair does not get long. People question me all the time whether she is a boy or a girl. When I told them that she is a girl, they will have this puzzled look like they don`t believe me or something. And many times they would say..Oh, she look like a boy. Even when she is wearing girlie cloths people would still ask me this stupid question . Quite frankly I am tired of this. I feel like I have to prove that she is indeed a girl to people.How do you respond to this rude uninvited comments.

Umi

nightowl Wed 16-Mar-05 02:08:53

sorry dont know but even when i was about 6 people all still thought i was a boy!

and fwiw, i took dd out once, (when she was in cute 6 month old type phase) now, she was in blue, but it was a blue dress and at least two people still said "ahhh isnt he lovely"!!

jabberwocky Wed 16-Mar-05 03:03:17

How about when in girlie clothes "what do you think?"
And, when you tell them and they look at you, "Really I do know what I'm talking about."

and then calmly moving on. After all, you're probably never going to see these people again anyway...

HappyDaddy Wed 16-Mar-05 08:16:13

My dw says, "are you f*ing blind?" always shuts them up. She then gives a really dirty look and walks off. My dw's well hard.

handlemecarefully Wed 16-Mar-05 08:54:28

Does it really bother you? - I wouldn't care two hoots....

lockets Wed 16-Mar-05 08:55:46

Message withdrawn

handlemecarefully Wed 16-Mar-05 09:00:06

Happydaddy,

Sorry not trying to be argumentative or provocative - but you think that's a good thing?

If someone spoke to me like that I'd think they had a problem.

NotQuiteCockney Wed 16-Mar-05 09:06:12

I'm sometimes surprised by people getting gender wrong (if a baby is dressed in blue dungarees, it's probably a boy!), but I'm not bothered.

I certainly wouldn't swear at people for getting it wrong!

WigWamBam Wed 16-Mar-05 09:08:52

My dd had no hair at all until she was 2.5, and even if she was dressed all in pink, with hearts and flowers all over her, some daft old bat would still say something like "Oh, he's a proper little boy, isn't he!". She wouldn't wear skirts until recently, and still has very short hair because like tiffah's dd it's very curly, which didn't help matters!

It didn't really bother me, to be honest; it was usually some stranger trying to make conversation and no offence was intended. I would just say, "Yes, she is rather lovely, isn't she", and that would be an end to it. It's nothing personal, you don't have to prove anything to anyone.

tarantula Wed 16-Mar-05 09:13:08

We always get this with dd too. Shes 14 mnths and has short hair still. Her dad normally dresses her in trousers as he cant be bothered faffing about with tights (his words)so she often gets mistaken for a boy. Doesnt bother me in the least as I always got mistaken for a boy as a child too. I think its nice that people want to stop and talk to or about dd. After all its not often that people take the time to chat to each other these days anyway.
Dss got the opposite as he had long curly hair (his choice) as a child and always got mistaken for a girl. He hated it but got no sympathy (if you dont like it get your hair cut..wicked stepmum that I am)

PS Lockets How do you manage to get away with no pink or dresses?? dds got loads (none I hasten to add bought by me). Doting rellies buy them (cos they know I wont)

Kelly1978 Wed 16-Mar-05 09:13:21

my dd is now 4, has had abt 5 haircuts in her life and still only has very fine hair down to her sholders. When she was younger I wud put the tiniest bit of hair up to make her look girlie - she looked like bambam from the Flintstones!
I also had her ears pierced and she wears little sleepers - tho that was more to get it done while she was small and they could heal without her fiddling with them.
I felt like i was trying to prove she was a girl. In the end she got old enough to correct people herself and was far more direct than I would ever dare to be!! She told some old dilly that she was silly, she needs to learn I'm a girl!!

lockets Wed 16-Mar-05 09:17:15

Message withdrawn

HappyDaddy Wed 16-Mar-05 09:17:28

If the person who makes the mistake says, "oh, sorry silly me" or something like that, then I smile cos I'd do the same. But if someone is being rude about my kids then they get what they deserve. If you don't like being told off for being rude, then don't be rude. Simple really. There are too many people who think they can say what they like to whom ever they like and won't get a reaction. Well tough.
Not any of you lovely mums, I hasten to add...

lockets Wed 16-Mar-05 09:21:02

Message withdrawn

WigWamBam Wed 16-Mar-05 09:24:34

My MIL told me recently that it wasn't worth having studio photographs done of my dd because "She's not exactly attractive, dear". That's far more rude in my opinion than someone making an honest mistake about the gender of a child.

goreousgirl Wed 16-Mar-05 09:29:43

Lockets - thank you for making me laugh - I needed that this morning. Sincerely hope no one ever says that to your dd/ds!!

Kelly1978 Wed 16-Mar-05 09:31:39

I agree with Lockets - I was more offended when some woman asked me if I was the mother of that chubby little girl in a soft play place. my dd is not chubby!

Frizbe Wed 16-Mar-05 09:33:27

my mum recently lost her rag at an old couple in the middle of Debenhams, when they cooed over our buggy and said isn't HE lovely, to dd who was then 14mths dressed in PINK get the hint! was really funny I had to calm granny down! its usually me whose going grr, but she did it for me that day, I'm guessing its a short hair thing with our dd as well

Kelly1978 Wed 16-Mar-05 09:34:06

Oh and my ds has poor motor skills, but he was happily scampering down the hosp corridor yest when, a doctor says to me (sarcastically) is that boy walking or running?

Cod Wed 16-Mar-05 09:34:41

Message withdrawn

beatie Wed 16-Mar-05 09:36:04

As someone with a dd who was slow to get hair, I know how infuriating it is when people insist on calling your baby a HE and then when you correct them and say she's a girl they ask 'Are you sure?'

I know someone whose dd was quite robust at the age of 6 months. She didn't have much hair either. Someone in a queue turned to the baby and said "Oooh, you're a little bruiser aren't you?" The mother was mortified!

SeaShells Wed 16-Mar-05 09:37:23

Old people always seem to get babies gender wrong, I think it's sweet of them to talk to the baby in the first place, I wouldn't be offended at all by it! An old couple once commented on how my DD (in a pink dress and hair in a bobble!) was a sweet little boy, I just laughed and said HER name is 'Caitlin', and they just laughed.

My younger sister was mistaken for a boy right up till she was about 6, I found this hilarious, and still tease her about it

tarantula Wed 16-Mar-05 09:44:53

Ive never had any rude comments from people about dd at all. Or maybe I just dont see them as rude. I like people talking to me aboput dd even if they say "Isnt it a bit chilly to have her out on a day like this " I think that its nice of them to show concern rather than thinking what a rude person.

lol lockets and here was me thinking that you had some brilliant method of getting people not to buy pink frilly things and I was hoping to steal your secret damn.

fuzzywuzzy Wed 16-Mar-05 09:47:20

Wigwambam , would I be correct in remembering this to be the same woman who gave you ridiculous lengths of elastic for chirstmas?? catapult her off on a piece....honestly how nasty .
Having said that I used to get people telling me dd1 was a lovely boy too, once she was in a pink silk dress (flower girl for a friend), and a woman asked me the name of my son I promptly told her, to which she answered 'But that's a girls name' I said yes, only then did the penny drop.

handlemecarefully Wed 16-Mar-05 09:53:11

Tarantula, Seashells - I'm with you. I appreciate it when people make friendly overtures / show an interest in my children...even if they do get their gender confused occasionally. But then I'm funny like that!

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