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Grammer

(41 Posts)
Beetroot Mon 14-Mar-05 13:07:28

Message withdrawn

Janh Mon 14-Mar-05 13:09:21

'Working with The Royal Shakespeare Company I found that the text was the primary consideration, whereas with David Hare's work it is the motivation of the character. '

Any good?

Tinker Mon 14-Mar-05 13:09:26

'During my time at The Royal Shakespeare Company, the text was the primary consideration whereas, with David Hare's work, it is the motivation of the character.'

LouBeeLou Mon 14-Mar-05 13:09:30

comma after 'consideration' instead of after 'company'




I think

LIZS Mon 14-Mar-05 13:09:54

Try "During my time at The Royal Shakespeare Company, the text was the primary consideration, whereas with David Hares' work, it is the motivation of the character."

jamiesam Mon 14-Mar-05 13:10:34

erm

The text was the primary consideration during my time at The Royal Shakespeare Company. With David Hare's work, the primary consideration is the motivation of the character.

?

LIZS Mon 14-Mar-05 13:10:38

oops, some variations there!!!

alterego Mon 14-Mar-05 13:10:54

Agree with LouBeeLou.

katierocket Mon 14-Mar-05 13:11:12

agree with tinker's version

Tinker Mon 14-Mar-05 13:11:31

Is he David Hares or David Hare?

katierocket Mon 14-Mar-05 13:11:59

david hare

LIZS Mon 14-Mar-05 13:12:44

In that case ...David Hare's work ...

Tinker Mon 14-Mar-05 13:13:06

Ta kr. Hare's then.

alterego Mon 14-Mar-05 13:13:08

Think Tinker & LIZS are overdosing on commas. Think of commas as breathing spaces (except for lists) and you'll be hyperventilating.

Beetroot Mon 14-Mar-05 13:13:24

Message withdrawn

katierocket Mon 14-Mar-05 13:14:44

alterego - disagree

katierocket Mon 14-Mar-05 13:15:04

sounds interesting Beetroot

Hayls Mon 14-Mar-05 13:15:34

I'd go for janh's version, personally.

alterego Mon 14-Mar-05 13:17:01

JanH's version is good too.

Beetroot Mon 14-Mar-05 13:17:17

Message withdrawn

Tinker Mon 14-Mar-05 13:17:29

'During my time at The Royal Shakespeare Company, the text was the primary consideration whereas,...'

definitely need a comma after Company because would run out of breath.

wild Mon 14-Mar-05 13:17:44

yeah, agree with janh

LouBeeLou Mon 14-Mar-05 13:23:08

just realised mine was the same as Janh's anyway!

You are basically joining two sentences with 'whereas' in between, so you need a comma after the 1st sentence -

'During my time at the Royal Shakespeare Company the text was the primary consideration'

and

'With David Hare's work it is the motivation of the character'

so it becomes 'During my time at the Royal Shakespeare Company the text was the primary consideration, whereas with David Hare's work it is the motivation of the character'

alterego Mon 14-Mar-05 13:23:16

Perhaps my lungs are too efficient then ....

janinlondon Mon 14-Mar-05 14:17:19

I don't think the problem is commas. I think it is a misplaced subject. In the first half of the original sentence the subject is "the text". By logical extension what that sentence is saying is "During my time at the RSC the text was the primary consideration. With David Hare's work the text is the motivation of the character" ie, the subject is misplaced because no subject is given in the second half of the sentence. I think Jamiesam is the closest to correcting the error.

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