A teacher's guide to understanding your child's report

[turquoise]

I just found this, hope it doesn't offend anyone but I think it's funny:


"Satisfactory progress" = I cant think of a single interesting thing to say about him

"Good progress" = if you think his work's bad now, you should have seen it last term

"Expresses himself confidently" = cheeky little oik

"Lively" = thoroughly disruptive

"A sensitive child" = whiny

"Reliable" = Creep

"Imaginative" = never short of an excuse

"Easy going" = bone idle

"Friendly" = never shuts up

"Is easily upset" = spoilt rotten

"Determined" = lacking all scruples

"Independently minded" = obstinate

"Adventurous" = can't understand why he hasn't broken his neck

"Easily distracted" = yet to finish a piece of work

"Easily influenced" = Nerd

"Mature expression" = stop doing his homework

"Enjoys all PE activities" = thug

"Good with his hands" = light fingered

"Works better in small groups" = damage limitation exercise

"Works better at practical activities" = totally illiterate

"A born leader" = runs the playground protection racket

"Needs praise and encouragement" = as thick as two short planks

"A rather solitary child" = smells or has nits

"Popular at playtime" = sells pornography.

[PuffTheMagicDragon]

[chatee]

wonderful....i've just got back from dd's first parents evening so some of those things are ringing in my ears

[tortoiseshell]

Can I add one that I actually use - 'Quiet in class' - means I can't actually remember which child he is!

[Hulababy]

Excellent. I am currently writing 3 sets of Y7 reports, and have to admit that there are one or two in each class I am not entirely sure about.

I am sure some of these will appear in my reports - just going to read them again to get more ideas