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Do others have moments of panicking as to whether they want another baby, even though it is really a bad idea all round, just because their biological clock is starting to tick quite loudly?!

(15 Posts)
Needtotakethebatteriesout Sat 25-Oct-08 13:11:07

I have two children who I find challenging enough. I am a single parent, but have a partner who doesn't have children. I thought I may one day have to face the possibilty that he may want children if we stay together & was something I told him I would be prepared to talk about, after being sure I was very much finished. However it is now me that keeps thinking about whether I want another one. (not now as we don't even live together yet) 80% of me thinks it would be a bad idea to even think about it, as I now have time to myself again (children see their dad quite often) which I enjoy, we have long Sunday lie ins when I stay with my DP, we have been away a few times, I have both children at school now so no longer have childcare worries, and my two test my patience to the limit at times! All in all, another child would not be a great idea...but I am mid thirties & my biological clock is taking over my logical thinking! I worry that I may regret it if I decide never to have another child. Part of me feels I would regret not having one child with my DP at some stage, but the sensible side of me is thinking "NOOOO, you so don't want another baby - it would be a disaster!!"

Are we designed to get like this! I wish I could just feel 100% content to stay just how I am - it would be far more sensible!
As I said, I know I don't want one now, but the whole issue is at the forefront of my mind because I know I only have so many more childbearing years. Please talk some hard sense into me!!

Needtotakethebatteriesout Sat 25-Oct-08 13:26:20

I have changed my name here as cannot admit this to anyone!

BitOfFun Sat 25-Oct-08 13:33:11

I feel very similar myself actually - I have such a wonderful time with my DP when the kids are at my ex's, and I would really miss that time and space together if we could have a baby together. However, I do really want to have our own together, and so does he. I think I will just have to see which way the cookie crumbles though - unless our finances change a lot, we can't even move in together, never mind have another child.

I do sympathise, but don't be embarrassed to admit your feelings - you are entitled to 'em, you know wink

BitOfFun Sat 25-Oct-08 13:34:23

I think I used the word "together" about a squillion times there, I hadn't realised! Hope a pedant doesn't spot me grin

Needtotakethebatteriesout Sat 25-Oct-08 17:22:24

I know, BOF, but I can't quite get my head round these feelings myself & those who know me would be shocked!

DoubleBluff Sat 25-Oct-08 17:24:42

I am 37 with 2 DS's.
Coercerd Dh into having the snip this time last year.
And now all I can think of s having a girl! sad
Too late now, and realy I know I would struggle coping with all teh baby stuff again.
Am hoping I will grow out of it!

bigscaryorangespiderami Sat 25-Oct-08 17:32:12

I am 37 with a ds adn a dd. Dh will be 40 in 6 weeks.
Financially we should not have another, we don't have the space, I had bad PND both times, the dc are now 9 and nearly 6 so we can go on fun outings together without having to bring the kitchen sink.....

But I really want another...

A tiny bundle to cuddle, a tiny baby in a pram, those tiny clothes, those tiny toes....

But where would it sleep? How could we afford the new pram, cot, bigger car....

Going round in circles.....

Needtotakethebatteriesout Sat 25-Oct-08 17:42:27

I feel similar, DB - the sensible part of my head is coming up with reason after reason as to why it would be a bad move, but I have this chunk of me that almost needs to have 1 more child with DP. Maybe some of it is to do with the negative experiences I had with ex H during my previous pregnancies - maybe I crave 1 positive pregnancy experience with someone I know would be supportive. I don't know...wish I could scrub the thoughts & just settle. I am enjoying more me time now & loving it, and like you, would find it hard going back to the whole baby stage again.

BitOfFun Sat 25-Oct-08 17:47:53

Hey, I can relate to that, about wanting to wipe out the negative pregnancy feelings. Ex's first words when I told him were "Is it mine?", and it went downhill from there sad

On the other hand, I really do love the free time I have with DP, so there is no easy amswer. I think I will just stop using contraception when/if money stuff is sorted, and see if I'm not too old for it to happen. Who knows, I might feel differently then, and more certain in either direction. I'm 35 now, so who knows?

BitOfFun Sat 25-Oct-08 17:49:06

Again, with the repeating myself. I hope I don't do this out loud too...grin

Needtotakethebatteriesout Sat 25-Oct-08 17:54:22

Don't worry, I'm always repeating myself on here, BOF!

twinsetandpearls Sat 25-Oct-08 17:59:45

God yes and for years I swore I would never have more. My constant craving for another child is one of the reasons I am leaving dp.

BitOfFun Sat 25-Oct-08 18:26:03

Gosh, I hadn't realized that T&P - sorry you are having a hard time x

twinsetandpearls Sat 25-Oct-08 18:28:02

Actually not having a hard time, we have to remain togther for a few months. But thanks. smile

Needtotakethebatteriesout Sun 26-Oct-08 12:15:46

Sorry to hear that, TS&P.

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