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Do your children send a thank you note to someone whose party they have been to?

(31 Posts)
Flum Tue 21-Oct-08 16:54:01

I invariable make my dd who is 4 and half draw a card and write Thank you and her name at the bottom and do send it.

However recently we had a kids party and did not receive a single thank you note. Just the odd text message, but mostly nothing.

What is the norm? I always write a thank you note if I go to dinner or a party at someones house so shouldn't children get into the habit? Am I overdoing it?

MorticiaAnnSpookington Tue 21-Oct-08 16:55:58

I'm with you here Flum - I always,always do it and encourage ds to write thank yous - it's good manners- lots of people will disagree but it's worth being old -fashioned in this respect.

brimfull Tue 21-Oct-08 16:56:03

yup you're overdoing it

I will thank the parent for a lovely party when I see them next..that's enough I think.
I do phone up hostess of dinner party the day after and thank them though

forevercleaning Tue 21-Oct-08 16:57:02

i have not sent thank yous for going to childrens parties. I think it is more down to the children whose party it was to write the thank you.

Partygoers hopefully thank the host at the time and that is enough at this age.

Is nice to write a note after n adults party though

Notquitegrownup Tue 21-Oct-08 16:57:16

It's a lovely thing to do. I used to get my boys to do it, but it has fallen off my radar recently, and so I tend to do the thank you-ing.

beansmum Tue 21-Oct-08 16:58:46

ds doesn't because I would have to write it and I think that makes it kind of meaningless. Also, he always gets a thank you note for the gift, if I then send a thank you for the party, and then they send a thank you for coming it all gets a bit ridiculous.

compo Tue 21-Oct-08 16:59:55

no we don't
ds says thank you as he leaves

forevercleaning Tue 21-Oct-08 17:01:27

and also when you have several dc going to parties each weekend, you will never stop writing!

Anna8888 Tue 21-Oct-08 17:02:01

No. I don't do and won't do this.

I get intensely annoyed by people who write cards to thank me for lunches, dinners etc. They are invariably the people who have the least pleasant demeanour but are obsessed with formal social niceties. I would rather good manners were simple niceness and a genuine, heartfelt thank you at the end of the party.

CountessDracula Tue 21-Oct-08 17:03:49


CountessDracula Tue 21-Oct-08 17:04:27

If I have been to stay for a weekend with someone i usually send them a card
Otherwise is OTT IMO

hotCheeseBurns Tue 21-Oct-08 17:06:42

It never even occured to me to do this! shock
*stressed and worried*

Anna8888 Tue 21-Oct-08 17:07:34

Don't stress. As CD says, it is OTT to do this.

CountessDracula Tue 21-Oct-08 17:08:25

Flummy we all know you are ott with your personal stationery use though don't we wink

stillstanding Tue 21-Oct-08 17:08:28

I do most times but I don't beat myself up over it if I miss one.

How extraordinary to be "intensely annoyed" about receiving one?? I always feel warm and fuzzy and appreciated. Think polite and lovely thing to do but not compulsory.

Anna8888 Tue 21-Oct-08 17:09:28

Oh yes, the worst sort of thank you note comes on an embossed personal card wink

GylesBandwidth Tue 21-Oct-08 17:10:48

They say thank you to the hosts as they leave.

NorthernLurker Tue 21-Oct-08 17:12:44

No we don't and I don't do thank you notes for presents either. We always thank in person and then if they want anything else they'll have to come over here and write it themselves. Gifts should always be acknowledged but where does it say that an acknowledgement that comes without a stamp is less valid?

Bride1 Tue 21-Oct-08 17:18:21

We don't do this for parties.

wobbegong Tue 21-Oct-08 17:56:39

I'm a bit sad about the demise of the thank you card to be honest. I treasure the (very few) I get given, and do write them for birthday parties.

Small rant... Two weeks ago I gave two of DH's friends use of a gorgeous country cottage in Devon, because my father was ill and couldn't use it. I said, "don't worry about payment but here is their address, a thank you card would mean so much to them".
Fuck all has arrived so far. angry I won't bother with them again.

Flum Tue 21-Oct-08 18:45:56

Its very true Countess Dracula re: the stationary. I can never compete with my SIL who sends a gushing two sided thank you card if you make her a cup of tea!

I married into a family that write endlessly about everything and I think it is twisting my mind!

Miyazaki Tue 21-Oct-08 18:48:35

No, would be never ending. Thank you for the present, thank you for the party, thank you for the thank you. Thank you for the invite.

I do send a thank you if we have stayed over, or for a weekend at a friends type thing. Or flowers or summink.

WideWebWitch Tue 21-Oct-08 18:51:21

No, life's too short, we haven't got time nad it can become never ending

Liffey Tue 21-Oct-08 18:57:51

no, but when she had a party, I sent out a photocopied drawing with thank you on it for her presents.

ilovemyghds Tue 21-Oct-08 19:05:05

No, I am still trying to keep up with the thank yous from when DC3 was born over 3 months ago. Have not yet done thank yous for DSs birthday a month ago (am tagging lots onto DC3s thank you cards or they will never get done!). God knows how far behind I would be if I thanked people for being invited to their party. I always say thank you when I am leaving though.

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