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Promotion but sad

(17 Posts)
MegGriffin Mon 20-Oct-08 19:41:01

Firstly my return button does not work so have to type in lines. The deputy where I work has handed in her notice and I have been offered her job. This has gone down like a lead balloon and I now feel that have made a mistake accepting it. I work in a small team and have been there 2 1/2 years. I started there with little experience and have trained and qualified in that time. Two of the other staff have been there 10 years plus but can't become deputy as they are not qualified. They have had the opportunity to become qualified but do not want to so there is not much that can be done about that. Although they have not said anything to me, they are behaving differently towards me and their behaviour is very subtle but not nice. It is hard to describe or put in to words but all I have felt since I accepted this job is a feeling of persistant doom. My Manager who has offered me the job has been very posiive and was very persuasive to me to accept it so there is no problem there and my other colleague is very pleased for me. I don't actually know what I am asking but I just want to feel better about it all. Most people are pleased when they get a promotion but I feel rotton.sad

lulalullabye Mon 20-Oct-08 19:44:28

They will get used to the idea. Some people are not good with change either so that might also be why.

Stick with, broad shoulders and the rest. smile

MegGriffin Mon 20-Oct-08 19:50:13

Thank you lulalullabye, I needed someone to say something nice smile

Bewilderbeast Mon 20-Oct-08 19:52:58

I have been in this situation and it is very hard but stick with it eventually they will either come around or learn to live with it. If they didn't take up the opportunity to become qualified then that is their problem not yours. Do not (as I did) bear the burden of other peoples failure to take charge of their own careers. and Lula is right some people just don't like change

ScottishMummy Mon 20-Oct-08 20:14:19

your achievement has been have worked hard going from novice to deputy mgr

the others well- they are jealous.sour grapes

they can like it or lump it

you go to work to do a job not be best mates and please people

so well down at your ability being recognised

they lacked the inclination,motivation to train.that is their tough titty really

not yours

MegGriffin Mon 20-Oct-08 20:19:06

Thank you Bewilderbeast. I really appreciate your reply. I will give it my best shot and will see how it goes. We have had quite a bit of change recently so hopefully it's not just personal to me. They also like to be 'in charge' even though they are not as they have been there so long so will have to see what happens. I'm not the type to boss people around, I prefer to work as a team but they seem to like to be in control and tell me what to do.

MegGriffin Mon 20-Oct-08 20:27:16

Thanks ScotishMummy, you are right! I did feel a bit sad that the people who I thought were really nice (although slightly control freaks) actually turned out to be unsupportive and negative. We do work as a small team (only 4 on at any one time so will be a challenge). You are right, I'm not looking for best friends at work so I will just do my best and hold my head high. Thank you all so much, I will refer back to this when I start to doubt my abilities smile

ScottishMummy Mon 20-Oct-08 20:27:53

you have the authority and the responsibility,you need to act like the deputy mgr and not be bossed about

presumably you will be appraised as deputy mgr and your ability to undertake the associated duties Not them

team approach is desirable if they behave like team members and act upon your instructions. But if they do their own sweet thing acting like the boss, time to pull rank

otherwise they will walk all over you

FiveGoMadInDorset Mon 20-Oct-08 20:30:17

You got this promotion because you got of your bum and did the training.

They didn't.

MegGriffin Mon 20-Oct-08 20:35:29

It's going to be a big learning curve for me. It has always suited previous deputies etc to let them get on with it as it makes their job easier. As I have been promoted internally they don't see me as a leader so will have to make an impression and work harder to earn their repsect/belief in me.

ScottishMummy Mon 20-Oct-08 20:38:46

dont allow their projected insecurities drag you down.put your deputy mgr hat on

MegGriffin Mon 20-Oct-08 20:38:53

Thank you FGMID. YES! YES! YES! I am a strong, independant woman (repeats mantra frantically)

VanB Mon 20-Oct-08 20:47:02

Change will be hard for you too 'cos it takes a while to get used to being a'll probably have to take unpopular decisions sometimes and deal with the flak when it doesn't always go right.

You obviously have the skills or you wouldn't have got the job.

They don't have to like you, they have to respect you...especially when they couldn't be bothered to take the opportunity offered.

Good luck!

MegGriffin Mon 20-Oct-08 20:54:31

Thank you VanB. I am starting to feel positive again about this.

MegGriffin Mon 20-Oct-08 20:55:10

Bugger them, why should they piss on my firework!

ScottishMummy Mon 20-Oct-08 20:56:08

LOL loving the metaphor and the imagewink you go girlfriend

MegGriffin Mon 20-Oct-08 21:00:07


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