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My husband constantly farts - bleugh

(18 Posts)
jampots Sun 06-Mar-05 21:22:47

and it is so pungeant its making me gag! For some reason he thinks its hilarious

have now taken his CD aftershave and sprayed it liberally around the top floor of the house and especially in our bedroom.

Has anyone got remedies for his disgusting arse! or at least any sympathy

Newbarnsleygirl Sun 06-Mar-05 21:23:56

Lots of sympathy.

We have the same problem in our house!

pixiefish Sun 06-Mar-05 21:25:11

. aren't they horrid when they do this.

i just used to call mine common and ill mannered. i also asked him if he wanted dd to think it ok to let rip in public and then be ridiculed- that bought him down to earth

sallystrawberry Sun 06-Mar-05 21:26:53

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

debs26 Sun 06-Mar-05 21:27:03

get yourself some really strong curry and see what he thinks when the tables are turned

charleepeters Sun 06-Mar-05 21:34:57

i do see the amusing side of farts but theres a time and a place but we have em constantly and its always either in bed or when hes close by and the preformance they make about it if its a bloomin talent! men ay who would have em??

bibiboo Sun 06-Mar-05 21:39:44

Tell him it's no good for your relationship to be smelling his arse-gas and that frankly, it's a massive turn-off... the threat of lack of rudery with you should make him stop.

charleepeters Sun 06-Mar-05 21:42:16

ahh yes tell him no sex untill hes a little more descrete and polite about it that always works men with no sex they would go crazy lol!

sasa15 Sun 06-Mar-05 21:44:17

change his diet...does he eat a lot of junk?

ask him to's great...!

pepsi Sun 06-Mar-05 21:45:38

Arrange for Dr Gillian MckEith to come and visit from You are What you Eat. The thought of her looking at his poo and complaining about his smelly trumps might do the trick.

jampots Sun 06-Mar-05 21:52:20

Gillian McKeith really WOULDNT want to go delving into my husband's ablutions

HappyDaddy Mon 07-Mar-05 07:43:28

My dw's are worse than mine.

SeaShells Mon 07-Mar-05 08:03:40

Much sympathy for you, I know how you feel!

You could try using a cork?
Or on a serious note, lactose intolenance can cause excessive farting, try keeping him off the milk for a while?

If that fails make him go outside when he needs to fart, just like smokers go outside for a fag, you don't want to breath his fumes, passive farting!

bibiboo Mon 07-Mar-05 09:30:23

Seashells, I think you might be onto something with the lactose intolerance... just realised my dh gave up milk a few months ago because of the effect it had on his breath etc, but thinking about it, he's not as windy as before! Hooray! Not that he ever did it in front of me, but I'd still have to use the bathroom after him!

handlemecarefully Mon 07-Mar-05 09:40:05

I agree with bibiboo - it is a huge turnoff. Definitely threaten no sex.

And also lots of shouting. I went into the kitchen to be confronted with the remnants of a fart this morning and started a tirade of:

That's so foul and digusting. How can you be so repulsive. I am literally gagging. I don't understand why you just don't use the toilet if you must let one rip.....(etc etc)

Kept this going for a couple of minutes and he did look a bit chastened by it...

Tortington Mon 07-Mar-05 16:56:33

lie together in bed spoon fashion then blow one off and give him his favourite catchphrase right back - so for example my dh always says " sorry, sorry i couldnt help it just came out" well i know perfectly well he has control of his arse so i blew off on his legs with the" coudnt help it" excuse to which he said something like " bollocks!" right then we now both know its not a medicle condition.

dont withhold sex - fart during sex then start laughing - nothing makes it all soft quicker than laughing.

blow off infront off his parents

good luck

Tortington Mon 07-Mar-05 16:58:37

sorry as a solution if he feels one brewing he has to go out of the room and count to ten! - no farting in the kitchen thats just RUDE near food.

jampots Mon 07-Mar-05 17:01:41

custardo - you have really made me laugh thanks

will do just that and report back.

In addition, may also leave toilet debris at that time of the month which i know will just disgust

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